Why I Would Be Gay In This Lifetime Again
Child if y’all been watching my old videos I said this year that I noticed a lot of men do not like women. I don’t mean that in a way to say if someone is gay or straight but the general respect for humankind is blatantly disgusting! I said that if I didn’t meet the love of my life by a certain age baby, I said I was going to be gay. Now keep in mind this isn’t from some old childhood wounds, bashing men, or just feeling like I gave up on love and now I feel that being with a woman is my only chance at it. Um, no I don’t sexualize every relationship with every person I meet. Sex doesn’t solidify a bond with me. It doesn’t make me feel like I am important, give me emotional reassurance, or let me know that I worthy of love.
The only thing sex does in this day age is glorify that your body gets more love than your actual mind, heart, and soul. Now granted when I was dating girls it was unacceptable in my Earl of Lemongrab voice because um two women didn’t belong together. The only reason I stopped dating girls was because is when I had my son my hormones changed and if we being grown here fingering, scissoring, and head wasn’t cutting. Arby’s, we have the meat is where I learned that I like the most. Due to the fact that the women I dated was touch me nots studs that found pleasure in pleasing you they got off on that. So, when it came down to me to wanting to eat a little cat, I wasn’t too fond of that.
I recognized I was mature enough to leave that part of me behind, but it wasn’t so easy because falling in love wasn’t a problem, having a emotional connection, and genuinely dating was not. It’s just the fact that I had a little bit more self-discovery to do and I do respect the art of love when I’m dating. Child if you ask me, I have been in love with more girls in my life than men. Child I only fell in love with one man out of my whole life and child my next one gone be my last one. The problem is with most people who decided to participate in homosexual acts they rarely take into account how the other person feels about them. Because being a lesbian wasn’t no damn rodeo having synced periods, arguments based off emotions, gender roles, and jealously was not something I was game to be apart of.
It was cute in the beginning but as the times rolled on, I thought to myself I might as well be with a man if this is what it comes down to. Fighting like we straight couples over stupid things, girl we ain’t fina put our hands on each other. And just because you had sex with all your friends don’t mean I have sex with mines. Constantly accusing me of liking so and so because you know the things you used to do. Child, did I say I didn’t used to do the work, so this new age of era of love and support was lacking because we all came from broken homes. So, the time we had together was an expression of love and as we see in this day and age that’s how you get cheated on, divorced, or left feeling unheard in a relationship.
This whole three-way, polygamy style relationships, and sexual connections actually disgusted a lot of men back in the day because lowkey everybody isn’t into that. Some men were jealous of women low key and on the flipside of things they felt like they could be the only to have they cake and eat it too. Some people just only know how to identify with the sex anything else it causes a problem in the relationship. Knowing what your partners needs are in relationship can help you navigate a lot of problems when it comes down to you or their sexual nature. Now granted we live in a society where mental illness is at an all-time high, so you have people using sex as an coping mechanism.
When it’s actually toxic and wreaks havoc on the body because if the only way you can enjoy a relationship is through sex let’s just say you’re going to miss out on a lot of great things in life with your partner. And another thing it just keep reiterating the fact that everything in your life has to be short lived. Now I do believe in nymphomania baby that don’t be it. Child its possessiveness and that lack of emotional vulnerability that be having people so focused on pleasing they partners sexually. Hell sometimes it doesn’t even be that they be trying to discover some sense of dominance over your body. Baby I like to go places don’t nobody want to be somebody sex slave, for a place to stay, food to eat, to be a husband or wife, or to receive money.
That’s prostitution I wish people get out of the mind frame of thinking sex workers only have sex. Child, they create the sexual fantasy or intimacy you lack in your life okay, whether it be mentally, emotionally, or physically. WOMB HEALING YOU FREAKY BASTARDS! So, the next time you find yourself sexually involved with someone who is seeking sexual pleasure instead of actual relationship you have to ask yourself am I settling? Do my feelings matter? Cause when I get to adding up and it feels more like a subtraction somebody, something, or someone got’s to go. Because it’s all fun and games having a sexually open relationship until somebody catches feelings.
Whether it be the same sex or opposite and baby that’s dangerous because you never how people feel when they emotions get involved. Now granted I know we all grown, and you gone do whatever you want to do but at some point, you have to stop and ask yourself am I being selfish. Because in many cases we like to play to absent minded in situations we have created due to our selfish natures. And apart of being grown is recognizing when we are incapable of giving someone what it is that they want. We can pretend and lie all we want but if you don’t respect them as a person then how will the fling last.
I get it you may like the companionship so you feel you should stay in sexual commitment that doesn’t serve you. Or like many people they use sex as an excuse because sometimes we don’t want to admit we just need a friend. Y’all gone learn to stop having sex with everybody you met because everybody isn’t mature and some y’all ain’t mature and that’s the problem for one. Because when we you want to swing back around during them retrogrades and chop it up with an old fling it kinda be awkward because of how you left the relationship by saying it was just sex. It’s okay to vulnerable enough to say this what I need at the time but trying to manipulate a situation to benefit you doesn’t serve anyone. It just keeps flustered feelings, bad communication, and old emotional betrayal going. I LOVE YOU BABY DADDY! Not my real one by the way okay, clarity was needed at the moment.
I GOT Y’ALL CARDINAL SIGNS!
CIAO