Updated: May 24, 2021
Before we get into this blog post I would to shoutout the cast of Lucifer for doing a good job over the seasons they have been giving it. Now for disclaimer purposes I am not in no way shape form or fashion speaking of the show just highlighting experiences I have seen on the show. That have left me in a state of awe because as I self-reflect on my life about relationship experiences, I have had in toxic friendships that were no good for me or them. Now let’s get into this post.
Lucifer and Maze had the most toxic and emotionally codependent relationship on the show and I just now have come to recognize this after watching several reruns. Maze had crossed Lucifer for a consecutive of 5 seasons now in real life terms that is a total of 5 years in a friendship experience. For me I have been that closed off Scorpio where I only allowed people to get to know me from a far and when I choose to move in my own way it upset the people l have come in contact with. One because I know I valued them more than they valued me so me doing whatever made me happy I didn’t have to rely on others for my happiness.
I mean they had been in orgies, tortured people, fought each other, and downright just blatantly accepted each other because they knew each other evil nature. But the question I asked myself did they really know each other. Because when Maze would cross Lucifer, she would always look to him to be her happiness so him choosing his happiness would always upset her. She always felt left out of things so she would sabotage his happiness because she felt like no one could ever know him. I mean it wasn’t like he was going around saying you can know my evil.
He just believed in free will and if you were down to party, he was too whether it was good time or a bad time. Now the difference is Lucifer had experienced the good part of humanity and also embraced his dark side i.e. the shadow even though he had major daddy issues. So, Maze being in a new environment was challenging for her because she wasn’t a part of his happiness. So, she would blatantly plan and plot to ruin anything that brought him peace to bring all the attention back to her.
How many times have you had a lover, friend, parent, or boss who did this, and you just shrugged it off? I mean do you think it is cool I mean after a while you would start to recoil them and hate them because it seems like they can never be satisfied. It would be emotionally taxing on your mental health and emotional health. I mean you would start to hate the idea of happiness because you would always feel like you have to protect the ones you love from the people who don’t understand the fact you love something.
Creating turmoil and strife in your relationship with people you care about because people expect you to be one way and not the other in love. I am a firm believer that some people aren’t fake that in certain situations people bring out certain emotions in them that have been suppressed for a period of time. I mean think about it women have the most toxic relationships with friends because when y’all fallout just know your business is coming right behind you. And they don’t give a damn.
I mean the minute you don’t want to be in a codependent relationship anymore they start to think you acting funny. When in actually you just can’t bring them places anymore because they always on that fuck shit especially if you are in a space of acquiring peace. I mean who wants to stay the same that shit is boring. But a lot of people have this dom and sub relationship in friendships that when one is choosing something different it causes a ruckus in the connection.
For those of you that don’t know what a submissive is in the sex community it is a person that likes to be dominated. Not necessarily treated poorly but they are cool with a person being the alpha type, but this usually falls in the category of people who have suffered from trauma. In the friendship and relationship type basis they usually flock to people who can manage a lifestyle better than them. So, if you can work the room to your advantage, they are cool with you because they know you will protect them.
Baby sometimes that shit gets annoying because if you’re not careful they’ll will always find a way for you to save them even if they have to put themselves in harms way. You’ll basically be the martyr and being Clark Kent gets old you had seen how he was ready to beat Batman ass so he could go be with Louis Lane. This is why I said we need more heroes and to stop creating victims.
Now onto the dominate they are usually the go getter they won’t stop at nothing to maintain what it is they need. In the sex community that is usually the person who does the tying and commanding to do acts on you. But in the friendships basis that is the person who is the one who knows how to work a room. They usually are so busy tasking themselves with other things that they rarely have time to sit and chill. If you are not comfortable with them being busy you will always find yourself thinking does this person like me or are, they really for me.
The DOM can usually seem cold and aloof, but they truly care but if something is on their mind, they will gladly pass up something because it doesn’t align with their plans. Sometimes the Dom friend can be selfish because they will surround themselves with people who need them other than people who show them how to create boundaries and to live a healthy lifestyle. So, when they try to choose happiness, they will feel like they are hurting themselves because the one time they aren’t being selfish it will feel like it.
Meaning, like if you stop paying for drinks in the club, stop paying all those people bills, and opting out of things for your sanity. They will basically turn on you. When you learn firm and healthy boundaries them parasite, that you have allowed in your life is going to act a fool. I mean when you are operating in a sheer hedonism you find yourself not knowing when to cut the party off. Meaning those times, you’ve sat up with friends who gossip, lie, cheat, and always in drama will be hard to cut off. Because you look at it like, I’ve changed why can’t you? Baby that’s not your problem because if it is meant to be they will.
Hedonism is to be more involved into things that bring you happiness whether it is short lived you always chase that rush and find yourself more shadowy than light. I mean to be hedonistic is cool is just knowing when to cut the party off id better. I mean I told y’all about my hoe phase and when I seen that was leading me more into trouble, I cut it off.
Because I wasn’t looking to subdued by some emotional demented little boy. Did you not hear me say I was doing what made me happy, but I had rules?
If it was gone hurt, you I would opt out because I didn’t have time to be pacifying wounds and explaining why I’m moving this way. I had already gone through that and every time I wanted to do something that made me happy these fools would try to sabotage it. So, you know what I had to do snip, snip because you can’t tell me you’re okay with something and complain about it. No that isn’t the game.
Chile the more I read this back I sound fucked up, but this was my past ways though. So, you can see why I was sitting there looking at the tv like how the hell I didn’t notice this. But, in the words of me I am not a masochist baby I don’t like pain like because guess what my impulsive ass will do self-sabotage it. I TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME I DON’T NEED YOU TO RUIN ME I DO A DAMN GOOD JOB AT IT! Of course, this was more of when I was operating in my shadow.
Last but least let’s hit on the masochist this is a person who derives pleasure from pain or humiliation. Actually, I despise masochist not people who are but for me as a personal preference, because that’s a form of childhood trauma I had to work through I told you growing up in big family and you had no secrets. You couldn’t even get your period or even cry in peace because everybody knew, it made me secretive ass fuck and I carried a lot of pain from that.
That landed me in some pretty dark situations because I didn’t have emotional security growing up. But those type of relationships with people always create trauma bonds this is why the collective has it so hard with saying no to people who are overbearing. This is why people cling to those dramatic and hardship style of relationships with people. I mean this is why people don’t know how to cut the party off with certain people in their life. I believe everything doesn’t have to be hard. Have you ever heard of the term Stockholm Syndrome?
I just wanted to say toxic friendship and relationships are so played out because if I can share my dark with you why can’t my light exist. In order to have harmony you have to experience conflict, but to feel confliction within the soul is an uneasiness an that’s a place I will ever revisit because it exposed me to my truths and those who wouldn’t share my darkest hour.