What Did You Want To Be When You Where A Child?
When you were a kid what did you want to be? What was your environmental factors? Was it fun, loving, or horrible? Well only you can answer those questions. After the conversation we had earlier it was about how children who were forced to be adults an early age are basically crappy adults. The need to be demanding and overcompensate for things that make them unhappy is truly understandable. Now I'm not talking about living in your tax bracket, but the need to put on a facade to be something your not. I see humans well adults struggle to be happy leaving out any mental illness it leaves you to be the functioning adults. You know when you get up go to work, come home, go to school, feed the kids, and shower has basically consumed the majority. Happiness is so foreign and laughter isn't quite as enjoyable. The range of emotions that has been suppressed is uncanny. I find it quite ironic to be living in a world that most people barely enjoy.
Commonly, when I have these topics I usually go straight to the men and point out how trying to be the all American male has handicapped them in ways. That it keeps them from actually living out their dreams. I'm not talking about being a sports player, but a father, husband, lover, and provider. Most of the men I've encounter or have dated all wanted to live a facade because of their childhood or the lack they had. Wanting to be better than their fathers that they actually made the mistakes of them. Leaving them crushed when the marriage failed, being a parent isn't quite easy when you haven't mastered yourself, and last but least the inability to be able to express emotions without reverting it to anger. Majority of men either despise marriage, or unable to be great husbands because the unawareness of self. I always say that men emotions have either been beating out them or redirected that when it comes to them expressing their emotions it's only in troublesome situations.
Think about you and your babe had just broke or had an argument and minutes later he calls you from a jail cell needing help and promising to change. Women on the other that have been accustom to the behavior she either decides to stay or let him figure it out. In the male mind because she didn't come when he needed her the most she failed him. When in reality he failed y'all as a whole. The inability to take responsibility for his actions and last, but least being forced to say I'm sorry. That rush of emotions that kicks right in when men know they have F***** UP! Is weird. I was in a two parent house were my father worked 2-3 jobs to provide because of how he was raised. I can barley count on my hand the times I've seen him cry. Anger yes, but sad, distraught, or any emotion other than anger nope. Well, want to know why my grandma was a 12yr old girl who had 13 kids. It was normal to have a shit load of kids back then as long as you were married and man being able to provide was quite acceptable.
The cons of the situation men being left at home with their mothers all day dealing with her range of emotions that it left any room for little boys to feel their own emotions. They either had to be their fathers or live up to expectations of what their mother expected them to be as a man. But, what happens when you don't want to be the man your parents or mom expects you to be. You get 18 and leave home or you say I can't wait till I get grown. Naturally, men are more privileged than woman because they can help make babies and they don't have to raise them. So, a little boy roaming the streets or staying outside and your parents thinking you can go unarmed is natural. But, it's a whole world out there predators, sex offenders, gangs, drugs, sex, and a destruction. Depending on which road you took is the adult male you're today. Because of the consistency with you messing up or trying to not mess up is the man you became because you thought it was who you was suppose to be. See as much a women complain and strive about life we do have it harder then men. Your bodies are programmed to take on more physical strength while the mind and emotions have to be built.
As women we know our emotions early on and when we feel our emotions an elder preferably the mom will shut those emotions down. Leaving a fragile girl to gravitate towards men who give her false flattery for the use of her mind, emotions, and body. The difference of the two creates the differences in the two male/female. Leaving little boys to be carnal and materialistic. Not emotional or understanding of nothing. So, you go through life thinking I should do this because I can or think I need to versus feeling your way through life. If I told you that majority of men get married because they think they need to because it signifies I love you to other people. Would yo believe me? An the ones who wait so late is because he either see's no purpose in it or he feels he hasn't found love yet. It's ironic how little boys in grown men bodies haven't been mastered yet because he has always had the option to be destructive. That's why when men who have been so destructive first go to is to reconstruct himself financially.
Because little kids needs to be taken care so when he finally feels he's ready to change his life, he gets his financial affairs in order first. He never stop to ask himself why do I want this? Am I truly happy? Will this fulfill me? Is this really how accountability feels? Childhood can be one of your greatest blessings or biggest curse because it dictates the paths your destined to take in life. No matter how much you hated, it still put you on the path you are as an adult. So, the question I have to ask you in this uncomfortable season are you the person who you wanted to be as a child? Are you happy with the reality you've created? Are you missing something, then what it is? Reflection can be a useful tool in this season because of a lot of people are suffering from loss of careers, family, friends, and finances. But, nobody is really asking who I am without those things am I still living out my childhood fantasy?
What did you want to be when you were growing up?