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Using Divorce as A Triumph Card

After, sitting and binge watching Run The World on episode 4 Renee finally told her husband she want him gone out the house. After episodes of her complaining about him leaving his full-time career to pursue a dream she was over it. Many nights she drank, partied, and failed at being a wife but never stopped to remind her husband that him chasing his dreams was bull shit. Now granted being in a marriage and making a big decision like that it should’ve be discussed especially with that joint bank account ish.

Child, I don’t want to share no damn bank account with nobody. We can do business together but not merge our funds together hell nawl. I’ll put a car in my name for a nigga before we share a joint bank account. But let’s get back on subject, now them getting a divorce as an end all be all wasn’t going to fix Renee nor her husband. She had the typical the happy wife, happy life motto. Which for some that works, but in the real world where we have problems and unresolved issues going on. Sweetie that shit ain’t gone work for too long because the real them is bound to jump out at any time.

And when I say the real them; I’m talking about the vulnerability they never tapped into as a child, the things they never achieved but always craved in a physical gratification sense, and last but least the societal programming that has been placed on us as a whole. You know those whole if your man or woman don’t do this for you then they don’t love you. We’ll who are they to say that to someone they don’t know. I get we be on social media joking and jiving but we don’t suppose to take everything serious and at heart.

Some things are for our humor and sometimes you may find a couple of jewels that just hit at the right time. But everything ain’t for everybody and that’s something we as a society has fail to recognize. Now let’s back into it because I wrote about this along time ago how people use divorce as a copout or an ultimatum to get you do what they want you to do. Baby that doesn’t work on every man/ or woman.

Because some of y’all partners be sick of y’all shit and baby if you been doing the work on you, I know that journey has highlighted what your worth really is. An after you start to notice the things you need to change enterally; you’ll be like to hell with the marriage and the kids. Not saying that you gone forget about your kids, but you’ll be around there like mama’s/daddy got a new attitude. Not thinking twice about somebody’s temper tantrum to get the things they need from you.

I get it he did something really stupid but at the same she didn’t want really to want a divorce. She needed time to process her emotions, but how when she was so accustomed to doing things her way and having her way. That this nigga was always putting up with what she wanted it. Now granted I’m five episodes in and people come talk to me a lot let me tell you, sheesh. I already knew what the scene was setting up when I was watching it. I mean shawty out her in full fledge marriage acting single and getting mad when her partner making life changing decisions with out her.

Like excuse me does this nigga know you was around here throwing that pocketbook around every now and again. I don’t think so but constantly dealing with people who be telling me half ass truths you start to see the pattern in when somebody is lying to themselves.

Because every time she sat up and communicated with her friends about the marriage, she only talked about the problem she had with his career shift. But when he was talking her he told her the problems he had with her not the money, career, or success. It’s funny how people say for better or for worse, but then when things really get rough, they be ready to haul ass out the relationship when its not the worse they want. It’s funny right, really it isn’t but it’s a truth that many people have to realize. This is why the old folks say don’t marry for love, marry for security. An when I say security I’m not talking about his money, her looks, her meals, and his ability to do. I’m talking about the surety the actual relationship gives you before you say I do.

If we could go around the world and have conversation with people in relationship and ask them how does their partner love them and how do they know what is their love for them; all the while removing all the things they physically do. A lot of people would be feeling confused, exposed, and embarrassed because of the way we have moved in relationships has been taught to us that everything has to be beneficial for ourselves.

It sucks ass when we are ill prepared for the truth because a lie doesn’t hurt so bad its only when are exposed to the truth. I wrote all this to say that stop saying you want a divorce when all you need is time; to process, to think, to feel, to acknowledge yourself and your person, to ground, to weep, to mourn, and to correct. Because you can divorce which is perfectly fine but if you never decide to feel then you only hold yourself back in a reality based on your euphoria from your pain. Decide now to let your emotions in and also understanding others as well.




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