Understanding Your Truths

Sometimes you have to keep on pushing even when you don’t want to. The goal is to work when you don’t want to not when you tired. Over these past few months people have been working my last God damn nerves to my max capacity for bullshit. I don’t know if it is the fake caring or the messiness of bullshit but baby, I have been over it. As I have been sitting back and observing lately some people just don’t know how to enjoy peace.

I mean it’s a blessing to be able to enjoy your own company without the chaos and the world putting its pressure on you. I mean if it isn’t the news telling me about the crimes of today and tomorrow and the world sorrow who’s next. Trying to relax and take a break from society while still maintaining you isn’t something many will praise you for. I mean I have been fighting to get out this project I just sit back and watch the chaos unfold and people fight in their misery to project it on to me. People love when you are speaking your truth it’s just when your truth starts to affect them.

That is when the drama and the bullshit unfold. I don’t rarely speak on my experience in this project because it was hell and to see kinfolks and friends arguing over money and acting like starving niggas truly disgusted me. I mean these niggas got jobs, places to stay, and enough to maintain their life but they always wanting more than they can handle.

I noticed when money is involved everybody want it, but nobody wants to help you get it. Fame is a hell of drug and everybody want to be in the limelight, but nobody wants to be their when its dark. Money make people feel like everything is gone be okay when the only thing is okay, is being able to pay your bills on time and buying whatever you want. But nobody talks about how people who only come around when they want or need something, or how you supposed to be the star or equated fame that you don’t go through shit.

I mean it get ugly behind those scenes. Family causing drama because you want love and your own family. That shit is only praised when you are working and ain’t living above your means. I mean you get the invites to the baby showers, birthdays, and parties when you are just a regular person. But baby let you not give them what they want when they want, they’ll turn the whole family and group against you. I mean money make folks do some strange as shit.

I mean I took my last and invested into Phuck Yo Anxiety and said shidd this gotta work. This all the shit you been doing free why not market your own damn self because nobody ain’t. People think because they see somebody post your shit on they page or click, likes, and views matter so damn much that the money ain’t even falling in yet.

I told yall in that last project I got in business with a janky ass promoter that didn’t even pay me shit and damn near on the verge of broke. I always said what is not yours the universe will find away to take it from you. At the time I was fresh out of a relationship and on the prowl looking for love and sex only for a nigga to lie about me signing some damn contract. Talking about he gone make me famous, how? Is what I ask myself as I self-reflect out of everything I lost and the knowledge I gain. It taught me that knowledge is more powerful than money. I didn’t say money wasn’t important but when you know what you know you can always bounce back from anything is just the resilience you have to have to get your way out of it.

From this nigga making damn near millions and I barely seen a dime, trying to find a career while those same people who throw hate be the same ones saying can you help me on the low. You’ll be amazed at how people treat you like the underdog when they don’t think you ain’t gone be shit. Your own family, friends, and lovers won’t see the dream, but baby let that shit take off and watch how quickly that hate turn into love.

This where more people get overinflated egos because its sucks like a motherfucker when people don’t believe in you. I’m sorry for the vulgarities but baby today shawty is pissed and I got a couple things I need to say. I mean we be wanting us to look out for each other support each other while at the same time we don’t even practice with others and ourselves to understand who or what is it they are to become.

And no, this ain’t about no fame because its people who make good money working corporate jobs, blue collared jobs, and entrepreneurs who don’t even get the recognition they need but they still eat good. I mean I just find it challenging to deal with the blatant disrespect people dish out because you don’t want kiss ass. Hell, you could’ve just healed yourself and recovered from all the things you thought you wouldn’t be, you could’ve just recovered from a near death experience but its still gone be somebody with something to say.

I always tell us that the world needs more love but who’s going to give love to you I mean even when you don’t feel like giving love first. I mean who gone rock with you when it all falls down, who is going to be there to assist you to learn how to fight again? Are the questions I ask myself as I build myself back up. I don’t care about followers, fame, and money when it comes to building long lasting relationships because that shit doesn’t come with loyalty when you favor the world more.

I just want to know who is going to be willing to stand with you when you feel like the world is against you. That’s what matters to me. I just want to say to anybody that’s trying to come up or dealing with fame that’s the season to start withering out what doesn’t serve you. I told yall this is the season to let some nouns go with out all of the rah rah. You don’t have to disrespect each other when yall season is up. I’m over having disagreement with people when I been said I been ready to cut they ass off.

I don’t need an argument or doing fucked up shit to me to recognize that its time for me to move on elsewhere that is lower vibrational people who seek to cause chaos because they don’t have the courage to say what it is they really mean to.

In the words of my KATE THE GREAT when you do right by people, they’ll need you before you need them. It may feel like some losses going on in this season but it’s some lesson that can change your life for better. AMEN