Triggers

Counting your triggers is something I came up with in 2016 because sweetie I was tired of being annoyed and constantly having to feel like I have to edited myself all the time. I don’t downplay the bad person I played in certain relationships but also new that I didn’t deserve to be constantly treated as if I was the mistakes of my past. I am human and I didn’t know this human design until I decided to study it and studying it came with great mistakes, pain, hurt, defeat, lost, emotional dismay, and even ruin. #PYA Sometimes it was my greatest mistake because on my vow to change I allowed myself to be taken advantage of on several times because I hadn’t balanced out my light I always lived in my shadow. And with shadow work nothing out of it is nice, the reward is being able to finally be able to sit with yourself and say I am the problem what are you going to do about it.

So, when I finally sat down, I said to myself how the fuck can I let people know without letting them know they got me fucked up. So, I started to take my encounters away I had with people this is why I am avid journaler I believe there is valuable jewels you tell yourself all the time in there. #PYA. I started to really process my emotions I told you guys I wasn’t a feeler, a person who didn’t want to feel their own emotions. #PYA! Because one thing in this human experience I learn is that we are never taught that it is okay to feel our emotions. It only happens when trauma happens, life happens, problems happen, and setbacks happens. And nine times out of ten, majority of it is grief if I'm being honest and let's just say that feeling pain all the time doesn’t serve anybody. It is a form of an emotion but it doesn’t need to be served or let out all the time.

The brain is a very powerful organ and people fail to understand that it can control the emotions especially when we are used to living out of the subconscious. When the mind is explored you can see your true potential in the matrix and manifesting becoming easier when you know what you are capable of. #PYA. That is a trick I learned from watching people talk about taking their quantum leaps without magic and manipulating energy. And let me tell you it requires a lot of self-improvements its liking having a constant visual of who you used to be while at the same time you are scared to look at who you were. #PYA. I mean you are the person who created these experiences so why do you fear your truth. And like many I thought to myself that it is stupid that I’ll work the pain away, smoke the pain away, party the pain away, and sleep it away. And child working off that paradigm left me depressed, broke, stagnant, unhappy, and emotionally lost all of the time.

OKAY WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID LET'S GET INTO THIS POST.

Now this is my definition not Wikipedia or webster. A trigger is something that can be used to manipulate or control someone's emotions. #PYA. It can also be something that takes you out of character and causes you to self-sabotage in many ways that can be to your detriment. Most of the time you don’t know this because you are to focused on the relationship dynamic you hold with people. This is why when you watch those spy movies, they never have any attachments to anything because in order to trust someone you have to be vulnerable with someone and that is a sign of weakness to them. Like any child, born and raised you are naturally exposed to this human design meaning you are bound at some point to have interaction with someone who doesn’t have everything together. #PYA. And their not having it together can affect the way you operate with others.

Say for instance you were raised in a home where drama was a priority you seek it out naturally or do the opposite but it would have the same affect. Now if you come in contact with people who don’t like your antics on constant basis what would you say they don’t like me, they piss me off, people always asking me to change, why do I have to do this, and it isn’t my fault. Naturally, you don’t have to change you have the right to stay the same, but also you can’t be mad when your relationships end up one-sided all the time. #PYA. If someone is asking for you to honor them while they value you more and put up with your shenanigans, what do you think they are going to do? Leave. There is no vault in this when you look at it from non-emotional aspect it just means they go where they are heard and acknowledged and you do the same.

The problem comes in when a person is mad at how someone is experiencing some form of bliss, happiness, and flow without them. Some people don’t like that and those emotions can be marked off as jealously which can be true for others this can be blatantly hurt that isn’t expressed or even acknowledged. #PYA. See the thing people don’t like about doing the work it, shifts what you are willing to work on, adjust, or fix yourself too anymore. #PYA. And when they don’t work on emotional growth nor you it comes off as entitlement to another person happiness and experiences when it can be completely unfair to the person who is focused on their journey. I mean these emotions are normal to feel and we see this all the time when we have a friend or a partner who works too much, stops calling us, doesn’t stop to come see us, and doesn’t come to our events.

But someone else’s change can be different because it isn't about you. I say the time that people had 18 years of life before they met you so how do you expect to tell a grown person what to do all the time. #PYA. This isn’t no job, it isn’t required for some people to put up with emotionally unfair behaviors, gossip, drama, smear campaigns, and sitting in your face all the time. Social media really is fucking a lot of people up because we have this constant demand for emotional interaction all of the time. It can be good for the lows we are experiencing but it damn sholl can be bad for highs we experience as well. so, the next time you find yourself repeating old ways or conversations ask yourself how does this serve me?

WRITE A LIST OF THINGS THAT PEOPLE DO THAT ANNOY YOU? #PYA

1. ASK YOURSELF WHO IS THIS PERSON IN MY LIFE AND WHAT IS THAT THEY MEAN TO ME? #PYA

2. DO I VALUE YOU THEM MORE THAN I VALUE MYSELF? #PYA

3. DO WE FREQUENTLY HAVE DISAGREEMENTS? IF SO, HOW THEY CAN BE RESOLVED? #PYA

4. WHAT DO USE AS A VICE TO CALM ME DOWN? IT IS RECREATONAL SUBSTANCES INVOLVED?

5. IF RECREATIONAL SUBSTANCES IS INVOLVED DO YOU DEAL WITH THE PEOPLE WHO YOU LIKE TO DRINK, SMOKE, OR HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME BETTER WHEN SUBSTANCES IS INVOLVED? #PYA

6. HOW FAST CAN YOU GET MAD AND DOES IT COME WITH DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?

7. ARE YOU FIRM ON YOUR NO’S AND YOUR BOUNDARIES? #PYA

8. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST WHAT IS YOUR BREAKING POINT WITH EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE?

Don’t take this as light and try to rush through this because you may not notice things as fast as you should. You'll be amazed at how people study you and start to notice the shift in any of your behaviors just to give you the bare minimum or for you to keep your mouth closed. Some people aren’t around because they adore you, love you, or even care about you. It is because you serve a purpose for their needs and it's time to change the game.

CIAO