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Toxic Ties That Come With Abuse


In the words of a post, I see floating on the internet certain connections can block your blessings. And sometimes staying in a connection with a certain individual’s can start to slow things down in your life. Now let me be clear I’m not talking about certain deal breakers like a relationship where a certain person isn’t growing up, I’m talking I’m downright destruction.

The type where you know a certain individual don’t belong in your life all they bring is chaos and destruction. And breaking those ties with a certain individual’s will be the test of your strength because while you’re fighting for your freedom all their trying to do is destroy your life. In the words of some it can be a narcissist, psychopath, a manic, or an unevolved being with no count for life.

You’ll know them by the fruits they bare from their trees. Because things start off so well, but they end badly and while you’re pleading for you life all they’ll want from you is a part they can’t identify within themselves. Now sometimes certain relationships can turn toxic because of codependences, drugs, sex, and hedonism. And when you don’t know when to cut the party off that’ll be your demise.

For me the word toxic is overly used and abused when it used in certain subject matters. Because it causes certain people to glorify f***** up behavior. When they should go seek some counseling or be shunned for the way they act. Now I believe certain people can change while at the same time there are people who know how to watch those who have changed and fake like they have.

That’s why healing and helping certain people can be dangerous because no matter how evolved you are, they still can pull the wool over your eyes. And I also believe in the ying and the yang of the universe but again there are people who straddle that middle and can be destructive to those around them. And those are the people who I despise very strongly.

Because I can honor an evil and I can honor a form of good, but what I don’t like is when you see something and someone for who they are they pretend to be not it. In this era of healing there are people who are bullies, and they are the new age victims. Which is funny to me because every bully never knows when their ticket will get pulled.

And then are people who are bullies and will never learn their lesson because of their own folliness these are the people who you stay away from. They talk a good game, they pretend well, and that aura they display is all fake until that mask falls down.


At the beginning of the year, I said my heart goes out to those who suffer with mental illnesses, children at home in abusive environments, an adult’s who are in relationships that encounter abuse. While everyone was running around like a chicken with their head cut off, I was wondering about those who had that time away from certain individuals. Because no matter how hard it was at home, they also seeked that solace in other places because they have developed a routine with the abuse they encounter.

Have you ever met someone who carries pain well? They don’t dump it on you and you also never know what they go through because they have been taught to identity this as strong. They never meet someone who feels like a safe place for them to confide their problems in. Because sometimes they don’t think you are strong enough to bare their load. In most cases some people don’t even want you to take on their problems they just want you to be there while they get their s*** together.

On the other hand, some people who create the toxicity are those who’ve endured abuse whether it be substance abuse, assault, childhood trauma, abandonment issues, emotional, and mental abuse. They go off inflicting their pain onto other people because that’s all they feel so, most of the time they don’t even care about you. A lot of the things they do really don’t be about you it’s always about them.

This is why so many people be stuck on the abuse they have endured and unable to process and heal their pain because low key they plague themselves with a why, and an apology from the person who hurt them. Sometimes you leave your pain up to others to diagnose and to treat you as such. All the meantime you’re giving your power away.

Nobody wakes up and say today I’m going to sign up for any kind of abuse because if you had the option to decline you would say no. And majority of the time the abuse you endure comes from the ones you love. Because as much as you love them you know deep down the way they love you would never be enough until you decided enough is enough.

You know I dislike when people talk about abuse victims and wanting to help them, but they don’t know the mind of a victim. I’m not saying you have to be a victim to be able to understand a person. But you also have to be able to listen and help without your own bias it could give you a better understanding of the ones you don’t.

Because a lot of the times people don’t even know when they are being abused because abuse has been passed off as form normal. When its actually detrimental to your human experience. Abuse can rob you of the many joys of life. Because society identifies this as normal because so and so did it.

So, those minor things the collective of people do such as emotional blackmail, selfishness 24/7, emotional neediness, violating boundaries, and a breach of trust is abuse. Y’all know I keep reminding you of that lady that did a spread on narcissism and how it was going to affect those this year. I mean I found her right after I got my blog up and running.

Coincidence much, nawl it was divine timing because I can’t find her page for nothing. Maybe she wasn’t supposed to be a part of my journey for a long time. But for the time she gave me I appreciate. The latter of the spread that you all know is how our own narcissism can be shed a light on in the number 2 years.

These last past couple months baby shawty has been tried, tested, and true. And let me tell you it’s some people I wouldn’t even spit on if GOD, The Most High, Angels, and my Ancestors told me to cause they don’t deserve it. But before I let certain individuals stop me on my track, I started to think about the other side of why they do what they do. Not because of sympathy but I don’t ever want people in my life for that long period of time who are like that.

No matter how well they pretend and no matter how hard you ignore them they will always be a problem. Maybe not yours but they will be someone else’s. And for me I’m at this point where I want them to live in a bubble with certain individuals who are like them so they can get a taste of their own medicine. Not for long but just to show them they should be more appreciative of people no matter how messed they are.

I’m not God, so who am I say so but let me tell you this, this has been one fed up fat chicken loving lady. BUT BEFORE I GO, I’M GOING TO DROP SOME DIFFERENT FORMS OF ABUSE DOWN BELOW!




Emotional abuse when a person uses certain tactics to manipulate you into things you don’t want to do. This where the assailant uses your own emotions against you to get you to do something for them. Remember no means no. No matter how hard it maybe or the consequences you have rights. You don’t want to be so easily swayed the masses of people leaving you to not be able to make your own decisions.

Ex. Queen of Wands reversed calls you out for drinks because your heartbroken and don’t want to anything but sulk. They throw up in your face that you need to get out the house and have a good time. But at the same time, they aren’t giving a valid reason of why. They don’t understand your pain, your hurt, but they keep pushing anyway and you end up going. You go out you get pissy drunk but guess what you drove there.

She pulls out a baggy off coke and sniffs and say I’m ready to drive I can make it home. But guess what you also drove separately too, some friend right. She offers it to you, tells you it’s no harm its just one time I do it all the time this gets me through. You’re scared but at the same time you have developed trust with them, so you think why not it won’t hurt.

So, you geeked up out of your mind and feeling a rush. But that same rush causes you to spiral out of control and losing things in your life. Doing weird things for money that end up being your demise.



Physical abuse is when someone hits or uses and object to harm or hurt you. This is when violence is used to keep someone in submission. It is a control tactic that some uses to make a person physically weak or psychologically weak.

This is harm with intent and no remorse for your life because you have violated their emotional wellbeing. A lot of pain you’ve endured is based on the persons will to live. And most physical abuse cases are spiked due to drug use. That come down off that high is something that no man wants to be around.

In some cases, mental illness can be a factor in this too. Because of their ability to manage their psyche.


Verbal abuse is when people say rude, snide, condescending comments to affect you. It’s when a person speaks negatively over you, and your human existence. It cripples you into thinking will I ever be enough and puts you on the defense when someone who is actually trying to help you.

It can also isolate you and make you sensitive to everything around you because of your own inability to accept other people. Because being told all the time you would never be good enough, you could lose a few, maybe if you made better grades, being told to shut up constantly, and being disrespected by words has affected you.

This can be equated to emotional abuse because a person who says the right things, but does the exact opposite won’t post no read flags in your life. Because you my child, have been desensitized to your own emotions and they have been only valued by criticism.



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