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To Heart Broken Girl In The Parking Lot

As the weekend had past, I had an energy come over me which was heartbreak. Now it wasn’t my energy it was an energy I had come in contact with and let me tell you it was hard to shake. Boy, was somebody having a temper tantrum and a emotional meltdown my golly. More and more each day chile I don’t know if I want to be in love because these people are crazy. And if I’m being honest, it is a third-party situation, and someone caught feelings and now they don’t want to leave the situation alone. Child, as I sit over here writing this, I was emotional and energetically confused because I didn’t know what to do. I haven’t had my heart broke by love in long time but that doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced my fair share of ups and downs.

So, navigating this energy was hard for me because they were intentionally hurting themselves by refusing to see the truth about this individual. Now this man he is a cold, callously, and stoic mother fucker but one thing I know for sure he ain’t fina play with your feelings and tell he love you. He might have sex with you, but he is not going to play those games with your feelings. Now I get it, to finally be noticed and as a woman but it becomes a point where responsibility has to be held because she could’ve walked away. Its funny how we as women think we can change a man I blame our mothers for teaching us this and blaming it on men. Because we deserve true love, honesty, security, and stability out of our partners. Not trying to force feed someone our love and get mad when they fail to receive it. I mean life is funny when we are going through our most vulnerabilities moments, and we have someone who is emotionally available at the time. It can create a confusing dynamic.

The type of confusion that leads to their empathy as being labeled as love and our own acts of love that are not received well as sympathy. Right, now granted we all grown and some of y’all like to bust that thang open every now and again which is perfectly fine. But child if you have drive with your emotions in the passenger seat or buckled up like a newborn in a car seat, please refrain from all sexual activities. I don’t want to see you on snapped or in a mental institution because of a nervous breakdown. That’s not love my child that is death a feeling we all run from and hate when it appears in our lives. I contemplated many days on what the hell I was going to write because I emotionally all over the place and let me you something I been grounded. I been practicing my mediations, doing my protective work, and doing my divination work. So, child I was confused onto how this energy creeped the fuck up on me.

Come to find out somebody trying to tell me something in my dream state and fucked around and put the wrong herbs in they shit and threw the intentions off. Now keep in mind they are going through some chakra blockages so I got the message all wrong. Because I felt as if this person was trying to lay all up in my energy and plus, I already have somebody who be doing that already. And that shit is annoying you know how them girls on twitter be saying I love this nigga so much I want to be in his skin that’s what that feels like. Like child, I got shit I got to do don’t nobody got time for that. Hell, you gone pay these bills, finance my dreams, and help get my product line in major stores. I think the fuck not so we should stop with that right. Because I need what’s in this season for me, sidebar I got lost but let me get back on track.

Child, this lady so heartbroken I haven’t felt that since I broke up with my first girlfriend at 16 and first male love at 24. I’m 26 by the way don’t ask, don’t do the math, or contemplate it. Just know I’m right and you wrong in this scenario and willing to go to war for it. Somebody send me that video please, I wonder did her and her baby daddy work it out. I love ambitious love, as I just said people are crazy. Yeah, I know but you got to find your own type of crazy. Focus, Marshae focus the point at hand she’s a bit delusional and I don’t know how to tell her. Because the pain she feels is valid, while on the other hand the facts are the facts this man does not want her. This ain’t no Nikki Parker where she was subtle, but a smidge bit aggressive with Professor X. This more like I need you, I think about you, if I can’t have you no one else will, or I’ll kill myself to be with you. I’m scared for her sanity because no one should love someone that much to the point that they are willing to lose themselves because someone doesn’t want to love them.

It’s hard telling someone that there are plenty of other fish in the sea when they only want a specific one. It’s like you’ll never get through to them until they learn to eventually hurt themselves and not in a suicide manner. Sometimes it takes that heartbreak to show you that its time reevaluate things in your life. Like how you put others before you, how you don’t really check in with your friends as much, how family seems to leave, and how you’ve isolated yourself from the world. I know everybody doesn’t have a great relationship with their family, but you can have some dope as connections with friends that turn into family. But, I wrote all this to say to take one day at a time, its okay to cry to watch break up movies, cut your hair, change your house around, go travel, go on a retreat, relocate, or even start a new hobby.

Life still gone be there after that heartbreak that’s the funny things about pain it consumes so much of your time that you forget how to live. GO WATCH #DOLLFACE


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