Sometimes we find ourselves burden and weighed down by life that, we never stop ask what is it I have done to experience what is happening? Am I moving too slow? Do I need to move on? Is it over yet? What could I do to change the current events that keep playing out in my life? For me when I was growing through my darkest time I felt like the world was out to get me not the people, but life. It was a humbling I was experiencing some people call it the dark knight, karma, generational curse, and so on. I was pride written an willing to do any and everything on my own without the help of no one. It was my ego that over powered my emotions. The word humble means: having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance, or lower (someone) in dignity or importance. If any knows me I hate the word humble because it falls into the category of NEVER OUTSHINE YOUR MASTER. 48 laws of power is a great read, but to live by this day to day it can be damaging.
So, the humbling process I hated it. I tried to fight and reason with the metaphysical and benevolent forces that I ended up losing to gain a better me. A me that I could actually could live with, love on, and understand, and treat properly. A lot of times I say cryptic s*** expecting you to figure it out. The elders did us like that so, sometimes I get my kicks out of it I'm not gone lie. Most people think I'm saying to make a cool word but I only call out THE HUMBLING for certain individuals. I see me in them the fool that was unwilling to change, to be corrected, and to just stop and think. I'm an impulsive individual with a stkrong sense of Aries, and Gemini in my chart. Yes I spelled that word wrong purposely, The other ones I didn't proof read just go along with it. As you read on you will find out about the meaning of the number 9 and what it feels like to be going through the HUMBLING experience.
If you count all the r's I list in the humbling it is a total of 9 R words. The number 9 means to be holding on the fort, hanging in there, tedium, being almost there, complacency, karma, awakening, light workers, humanitarian, and making time for self. Karma can be good or bad and can often be considered for generational curses. When humanitarian comes up it means you have to have a reason to give. You're serving of self, you make decision for self, and selfish basically the me, me, me individual. No one can do anything wrong to you, but you can to others. It also about how to learn empathy and what is a better way for the universe or the creator to show you. It shows you by placing you in a situations that you once spoke negatively of or avoided by judging others. Now the number 9 meaning can fit what ever situation that is going on in your life. I highlighted karma and humanitarian because these things are the most humans talk about. You can google more I just didn't want to drown out my message. Now let's get into the humbling. rubs hand like Bird Man.
1. Reconsideration- this is the guilt phase, the remorse, the begging and pleading to stay because you know what you once took for granted is now gone. Most people try to do everything because they know I could've done a little more. We see this all the time when people are about to expire, or when a relationship is ending. This is the I have no where else to go so, let me act right because you're the only person, place or thing, that is willing to accept me.
2. Resources- looking for reassurance, and validation. You see most narcissist doing this in the beginning because they need the approval of others. If a relationship has ended you see men go all out there way to show you they loved you just by doing all the things you complained about in the beginning because now I know this is the ending. So, I'm going to reach out to your friends, family, and social media stalk. You know I need to get back in. Most times people do get back in this phase depending on how long you've been separated. This experience can be like you have been working a job long term and they have fired you, but it could've been avoided because you're so accustom to them putting up with the antics. That now time has gone by all you can do is sing the should've, could've would've.
3. Removal- separation/isolation. Now at this point your alone. People have become used to you saying and doing the same things that they avoid you. The don't call, they don't text, I mean they just completely ghost you, and I mean it feels horrible. Keep in mind I'm not only talking about relationship, the universe is tricky it will attack the things you value the most and keep as their prize possession until you're deemed worthy. Most of the time you might not get it back or want it back if you haven't grew through these experiences you'll develop the well " I GUESS IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE"!
4. Insanity/Sanity- Reasoning with pain, understanding, inner conflict . You find yourself reasoning with the pain. Like I knew they was gone do this. Nobody never stays in my life. I'm looking for something real. The flip side is you start recognize you weren't so great. You could've been a little better. This is when accountability feels like an option. Like you need them to admit they where wrong before you decide you are also.
5. The lookout: Perspective vs Reality. In this phase you start to take on a new perspective of things and people if you haven't grew thorough any of these experience you get comfortable with being by yourself and misunderstood. Isn't the meaning of the number nine "COMPLACENCY THOUGH?" Right. The reality of the matter you have been so used to being without the help or support that you actually can't see the sea from the shore. This is when life tries to through a bone and say I'll send so an so over to if they learned there lesson. You on the flip side that is so accustom to being alone by now your just happy for the company. You talk, but you don't listen, You seek, but you never find because it goes back to your selfish mind of saying I needed vs seeing what it is they actually needed from you.
6. Hope and Health- Reconstruction, Rebirth, Renewal. Usually this process is a little be more overwhelming. You have went through these experiences, but did you grow them? Usually this process is a little bit hard for people who're selfish, over givers, procrastinators, needy, and lovers of self. It only gets greater later. The option is do you want your later now or the next lifetime? Every ending can be new beginning for something or someone else you encounter. If you knew that every choice you made would affect your kids even if you don't have none would you live you life so recklessly? Life has a funny way of taking away the things you take for granted to show you how others feel. The process can seem unfair as I stated above because some people need a wake up call. Sometimes you have to experience the lows to see the highs and sometimes you have to sit at the top alone to see the others having fun with what they have. Each day we are granted tools at our disposal to use, to learn, to grow, and live. Ironically we find ourselves abusing the connections we have with earthly people, things, and place that when we don't have access to it that's when we appreciate it.
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