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The Girl Next Door Syndrome


I remember back in the day when I used to feel like my femininity wasn’t valued as much as other women because I wasn’t sexually active or easily manipulated. It left me with the midframe thinking that it was okay to let love pass me by. Because contrary to popular belief a woman doing everything to get a man's attention or to garner it is really narcissistic as fuck. Look at the statics women are more narcissistic than men they just hide it behind good deeds. Femininity is posed, fire, passion, lust, fierce, meek, soft, intense, love, emotions raw honesty, but overall, it gets shit done. It is underestimated when it is valued by her hair, clothes, status, the amount of money she brings in, and her ability to endure hardships to prove that she is the value of love.

Just because you like hard love and a person who is unsure of their choices when it comes to love doesn't mean that everyone who walks this earth sits around waiting to be chosen. Our ancestors walked this earth, bared kids, married for survival, some didn’t even know they were gay, and help heal assist many hearts they didn’t break. And it may seem like the typical scenario of a woman who can't get a man because I'm to hardcore or don’t explore my femininity only for the world to pick me apart. When it is the complete opposite, I spread love majority of time and make hearts smiles on bad day even when I'm not asked. That is love and femininity is the ability to calm a raging storm, heal a broken heart, and calm a crying baby. That is a strength that many cannot fake and only over time you learn to not diminish your gifts because that is a power you have yearned for at some point in your life.

Society teaches us early on that we are to rely on a man for everything in our life to point we burden him to exhaustion. And when he gets tired guess what he wants to go cheat or go be with something that brings him to peace, which was once something you used to do. Until he decided to heal and discover himself. That’s the many reasons why people avoid healing, therapy, and counseling because it exposes who we are at heart and it changes the narrative we once had in the relationship with the person we alleged to love. We weren't too taught to have friends, set boundaries, get to know ourselves, or the value of the opposite sex outside of sex and money; and the same can be said to men as well. It has left this shift in how we view each other as women at times. How we have socially, mentally, spiritually, and physically degraded each other because we haven’t hit out own peak of love.

How we feel we are better at love because your ass is bigger, your tits are big, your hair is long, you got a degree in marketing, your financially stable, you have own home, you take care of your kids, you don’t smoke, drink, party, cuss, or anything another woman does. What the hell does this has to do with love that is self-satisfaction, ego, and pride. That is based upon societal standards and how you choose to live your life and in your means. Everybody wants to be a millionaire but don’t know how to save, have any goals, knows how to run a business, create contracts, and knows how to negotiates. Does that make you disqualified for trying to become a millionaire no it just shows you what you need to work on and who you need to work with on important matters.

The point being made is men have already set each other up for success whether that be getting a job at a grocery store and putting his friend on. They aren’t worried about the nigga shoes, clothes, or hair they worried about they partner eating. Women aggravate me with this concept of thinking that only a certain type of women deserves a type of man. Like what if that’s her blessing and he can teach her some things she never learned before. What if she had the capability of finally being happy and sharing her moment with someone who finally gets it her, not you. Why is that with women we have to constantly explain our love for something whether you be male or female. Who made them the owner of everybody's feelings. I promise somedays I'm not human I mean that in most earthly way possible.

The 3-D people would say that it is jealously which it can be true but for some, I call it emotional ignorance. #PYA The lack of self-explorations has people passing up on good people that they now start to notice attributes about that #PYA person until they started to look for it within themselves or somebody else. Love #PYA has no type, bounds, size, shape, weight, or height. Love is love. Love is something that can be described in many ways #PYA that is why I call it adjective but you guys' call it a love language. Sometimes it's the things you do which #PYA I call it verb. Sometimes it is a person which why I call it #PYA noun.

The girl next door syndrome leaves a lot of women stuck in cycles of hyper femininity questioning ourselves when we even don’t express concern or doubt. Returning to old cycles and unlearning new behavior because we don’t want to be left out in the cold. Because the more we change as women we start to see how we used to be that woman or girl. And as a woman you be wanting to turn around help them out but how soon you learn you can’t help everybody. And that is okay and it shouldn't block you on your path but illuminate more of what it is you have to learn. All ima say is don’t let your weirdness or indifferences push you back into abox you fought so hard to get out of. The time is now to walk in your season. AMEN! CAN I GET A HALLEJUAH! THANK YA! JESUS GONE BUY ME THAT DOG, CAR, HOUSE, AND BUSINESS! AMEN! 😛


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