I previously wrote about knowing when its time to cut off friends about a month ago to be exact. I wrote it coming from a place of growth because I had experienced some growing pains with individuals who couldn’t grow with me. It wasn’t that they were bad people at the moment I had just evolved, and those same antics couldn’t work for me. I was being forced on my spiritual path to be aware, loving, accountable, honest, and supportive. But when it came to certain individuals I was limited in my giving because I felt drained, tired, and unappreciated. I told you guys I grew past the days of letting friends, family, and loved one slide with disrespect because of who they were with no regard of who I am.
I don’t believe in playing the dozens with friends, family, and loved ones because all bets are off when it’s my turn to do so. So, when they would go low, I would go low with them and it showed me areas I needed to change and not be willing to accept from people I care for. See they were accustomed to me putting up with the disrespect, shade, and passive aggressive like behavior because they knew they could get away with it. Honestly, it’s because I wouldn’t say anything because at one point, I had a slip up were I was a shitty friend. It wasn’t constant it was just one time and they took advantage of it to keep projecting their hurt on to me. When I started to get into shadow work and soul work, I started noticing the ugly parts of me. How I wanted to be accepted by people who would never accept me.
Not on some on needy and validation type ish but to know someone genuinely cares and values your existence. I didn’t get those from them it was only when I would do something nice for them and be their emotional cum dumpster. See I’ve always been the strong the friend to those people who couldn’t be that for me so, to them I was their beckon of light versus them being my darkness. It was an imbalance in the things I needed to become, and I knew it, but Creation wasn’t going for any of that. And that was my biggest battle, see if you offended me and burned the bridge, I would cut that connection off so fast. But baby if you were draining and no good for me it was like I romanticized parts of you because you didn’t know any better. That was my biggest downfall not knowing when to cut the cord before the relationship gets bad.
I said in a video a while back we need to practice ending relationships in a healthy manner especially with friends and family. We let them get away with so much because they hold our secrets and there’s a sense of false trust. That keeps us bound and tethered to people who can hinder our blessings and stunt our growth. It’s like we avoid the signs and stay until the situation hurts because that’s the only way some of us learn. I know that’s going to be tricky for some people because you feel if it isn’t broke don’t fix it but what if it is and you don’t see it.
WHY/WHEN SHOULD I CUT THE CORD?
Rip off the band off nothing hurts more than those sticky band aids that grab all the hair on your skin and you’re slowly peeling it off only to recognize it still hurts. It’s a slow growing pain. The more you try to reason with a situation that needs to be cut off is the greater the suffering will come. We see this all this all time with friends/family when your navigating in stages of life were your being forced to a higher calling or purpose. That you only mess things up by holding on to the mind frame of well they were with me when I had nothing, I owe them, these my folks, and last but least I don’t trust nobody but them. Only to find out that these individuals bring you more pain than a little bit. Now my Middle College 5 friends they don’t act as if I owe them something as if I were to become successful. The day to day the people whom I made connections with outside of them feel as if what’s mine is theirs, they know no boundaries. See majority of the time I would ignore the red flags because of my water sign nature feels as if you should know. I mean I pay attention to you should do the same for me. Boy is that a way of being toxic instead of communicating. The reason communication is lacking because you know they will never change so you let them stay only to become a growing pain.
In the spiritual community cord cutting is normal it is a release of the things that do not serve you. The things that drain you, that affect your behavior responses, and last but least the energetic blockages they bring. The higher you ascend those things will be forcefully ripped away from you or you can block your own ascension. The cord cutting process is for you and self-recognition as well because at times we can be so focused on the negatives that people bring versus how we are as well. I mean think about it you hang around negative, messy, mean spirited, and gossipy individuals you don’t think that behavior will jump off you. Even if you don’t it took some form of self-mastery to discover these things were harmful to your existence and those around you.
IF YOU CAN’T HELP A PERSON THE WAY THEY WANT/NEED TO BE HELPED LEAVE THEM IN THE SAME CONDITON!
I tell my son and niece this all the time preferably referring to cleaning up something. They have a habit of seeing something untidy and adding to the mess without saying let me clean up after myself. They feel as if it was messed up why should I care because you never know what a person value. They have been some of my biggest teachers being around them all the time. I would get so furious because they truly didn’t care it was not because I didn’t care I was just overworked or tired. I was going to get to it, but they made the task a little bit more harder for me.
So, as I noticed the longer this project went on it wasn’t help it was the lack of remorse for my mess. I knew my life was messy when they came in and they knew that also, but they felt as if they could come on throw things around and say I’m making myself comfortable. When they really created a hell of a workload for me to heal through. See, I noticed when I was going to church being all churchy the pastor has a way of making you feel like your life really isn’t so perfect. True story. :-/ So, the first thing I wanted to do was to get my friends living right or according to what I thought was right. Some of them were messy, drama felt, gossipy, and criminals but I knew who they were and I felt they would like would like where I was going.
Newsflash I was wrong and insensitive because I knew who they were I didn’t know who I was to become, and fear kept me scrambling for somebody to grow with me. Me recognizing that asking those people to pack up they bags and grow with me on a higher level was downright stupid because those people had a later time to come into themselves. That was an issue for me because I craved honesty, assurance, accountability, knowledge, trust, and confidentiality. I knew I was capable of those things and only shared those traits me with a select few so how was they supposed to give me what I needed. They didn’t and I knew it was time for move on to a higher me and I was procrastinating thinking they would catch up. Little did I know God was getting pissed and was like bam this person selfish, your dumb as fuck for them, they fake, this person wishy washy, they talk about you when you gone, and last but least the shit you go through they to shame to say because they don’t want to look stupid like you. It hurted all because I ignored the red flags and didn’t know how to leave people in the condition, I met them in.
They came in my life for a season and I wanted fall to last forever because I felt I could control the circumstances. So, they only way we could break up was for me to vent my true emotions and I was unevolved and tactless so that truth hurt them, and they betrayed me. The lesson I took away was when you are asking for more than you are willing to give you need to go back to the blueprint and see what is going on. And the same goes if people are taking more from you than your getting in return its time for some self-evaluation. Word to the wise stop ignoring your intuition and follow it because you’ll end up hurting yourself and others in the process.
GROWING AINT EASY BUT THE STAYING THE SAME AINT SO FUN! CUT THE CORD!