Stay Out of Grown Folks Business

MARTIAL SPATS:

In the words of me stop going to people who give you relationship advice for you and not for your union and sometimes this may include your folks. Now ain’t nobody saying everybody in your family bad but sometimes vulnerability, the need to be kept, and emotionally heard keeps you stuck in cycles and keeps the arguments brewing in a family dynamic. I get it sometimes your person can piss you off so bad to the point you only want to go the closest thang you know too bad mouth them. Because when you and your boo are at odds sometimes that need to feel loved only come from the ones who are close to you and sometimes the ones you love maybe the one your partner hate. #TRUESTORY!

I don’t know why people don’t believe the fact, that some people can come from some shitty families and you don’t find this out until after you said I do. Because some people fail to understand that just because they are labeled family that doesn’t exempt them from being human. You know how humans are and they are more than identifiable than a race, creed, color, size, shape, or gender. I need y’all to get with the program and learn this really quick because this gone help you realize who to run to when things get real and when to divulge certain things at the right time. Because some problems wouldn't be problems if you would've faced the music and said what was needed to be said to the person who you love. Why, is that when we get in relationships, we let comfort robs us of the truth? You remember when you first fell in love and you wanted to tell your lover about your first trip to the zoo?

How do we go from being honest and calling ourself adults to sheltering the truth from each other? I know I get it we fall in love and its supposed to feed the inner child in us to make us laugh, smile, create, hope, and even dream. But, the ability to tell the one you love they are wrong sends fear down your body. Why is that? What is that? And why do we allow that? For me I think it is fear because we have been conditioned into thinking that love comes with terms and conditions when it is the person who has them. Hear me out before you go off think piecing me, when has love stopped you from doing something for someone when your body, mind, and spirit said enough? Keep in mind it doesn’t have to being in love with a person it could be love for a person, place, or thing.

Love can come in many disguises that can also shape the mind of those around you. It can be seen, heard, found, and even the midst of many things. So, I don’t believe that loves has no bounds, when it comes to race, gender, or creed. See, the older you get after being let down in school, failing classes, parents not showing up, feeling like the odd man out, and going through the ugly duckling phase you start to develop the mind frame that I have to protect me. And this protect me starts to show up in ways where you feel entitled to things that are not for you and some of us don’t learn this until we go through many life cycles, toxic situations, flings, habits, soul ties, and sexual escapades. For some that one heart break was enough. Meanwhile for others it just didn’t hurt bad enough to make them change where, how, who, why, and what they give they love too and why they like being loved like that.

And it seems like this is being played out before our eyes when it comes down to certain relationships in our life. Have you notice when it comes to relationships how counseling has died off, how listening has become vague, and people true voices are now being exposed. I am not saying it is bad but when you don’t know what you don’t know; you can only do what you know. And this is why many people who are in the energy of trying have found themselves in trying things that wasn’t good for them or their partner. Now some people may say well if they loved me, we’ll be able to fix this. When sometimes loves is the only reasons some people aren’t willing to fix it. It is better to live in denial that be clouded by delusion.

So, what happens when you have to pay for a heart you didn’t break oh, you thought this wasn't real in a marriage. How your partner didn’t make the team affects you? How them finding their parents doesn’t affect you? Losing the job doesn’t affect you? Going through changes whether that is psychically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually doesn’t affect you? How those hits they emotionally take starts to throw off how they love you and on certain days you want support and to be acknowledged. But at the same time, you want to be held and say get your shit together because your shit is starting to affect my shit and YOU’RE trying not be selfish but “I PROMISE I’M READY TO CALL IT QUITS!” Yeah, those are the days when your patience is tested because no matter how long you feel you have known somebody it seems like this is a side of them you have never seen before.

And like those who love to love and were conditioned into believing that you don’t give up, you don’t divorce, and you find another way to fight. Whether that is staying out late, hanging out with friends, picking up extra shifts on the jobs, hell sometimes it’s somebody else, sometimes instead of communicating you argue, at least you are communicating, or they just leave. Until spirit says no more it's time to get honest and face the truth are really ready to hear it? Are you willingly to sit by with an unbiased opinion and listen to what is being said so you can one fix the problem or allow them to fix themselves, two storm out and make it about you, or three just sign the papers and leave?.... TO BE CONTINUED!

CIAO