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Single and Dating

Winter is coming and the fall is still lingering love seems to be finding itself in the midst of people’s hearts. After summer has come and gone and quarantine have left the lonely feeling exposed to themselves and old paradigms. Love seems like it’s easier to take on than just completely avoiding it all together.

I was sitting and I had a thought come across my mind about how women who are single and seem to be a bit more difficult always experience hard love. I noticed that the more a woman fights for her understanding of love the way masculine energy tries to break her down. And when I say difficult, I’m not talking about a woman with morals, value, and beliefs. I’m talking about those that have been hurt before and constantly have to remind her new love interest in the things she wont stand for.

Those are the ones who don’t lead with their intuition and the free spirit of falling in love. Baby that is fear talking and when you fail to notice the signs this is when lower vibrational men seem to wreak havoc in your life. When the dick too good but it comes with too many complications, or he got everything but missing some money. Yes, child and the ones who seem good on paper are difficult and have a high emotional maintenance that drains the s*** out of you. Yes, sweets those lovers.

But I noticed that one thing men don’t do is communicate they will find something too like about you even though he is uncomfortable with certain things that he ends up forcing himself to like you. Ladies we do it too. Leaving him to only use you for your body or skills you have available for him or the next women. Leaving you too feel like you have been used when if he was mature, he could’ve communicated and stated that this is a problem for him from the jump.

Instead of being misleading and allowing you to feel some connection that you knew that wasn’t there from the beginning. I get it the holidays are around the corner and your biological clock is ticking and the constant reminder of love all around you seems to get old. And no, I’m talking about you lovers of self you know there are other people in the world “RIGHT”. But women do we really be prepared for the truth like if we were to get the emotional reaction from our new lover or potential bae that they put up with things they don’t like about us, how would that make you feel.

Does some petty response or emotional shut down happen after? I mean there are some men who are assholes who go around trying to break down women because he gets his kicks in giggles off of it. You know that old I ain’t ready to open up to you and you a year in the relationship and its undefined. Sweets, maybe it’s time you start looking at the other fish in the sea. And when I say look, I mean dating or start tweaking up your resume because that’s exactly where you’re going to be.

Not in all cases though some men like to take their time and go with the flow to get a feel of the chemistry. But you will know exactly where it’s going because it will be a mutual interest and not someone one sided party. I mean to be honest what are you looking for in a partner? Do you know what is it that you are looking for that isn’t undefined by what your parents, family, and peers want for you? I mean the whole dating to marry thing is kinda getting old to me.

Because folks be wanting you to move so fast that we don’t discuss the important things. Like where you going to stay, careers, prenups, post nuptial agreements, children, health, and finances.

Like what are you guys religious or spiritual views? Like what does a house divided mean to you? Have you broken down your past before you go off expecting someone to be everything right because everything wrong happened to you? Like how fair is that? I mean what is the value of partnership, do you guys know what affective teamwork skills are, and comprehension skills?

I mean we skip over all the basic skill sets to get to know someone and trying to focus on love that when we fall in love, we have all these problems knocking on the door. Seeming like its forcing you guys to break up when it is bringing clarity into the picture for you two, to better understand each other. I mean that’s what my last relationship taught me I was so focused on love and the relationship itself that when it was time to play grown folks in real life baby, I sucked at that.

So, moving forward into dating I said I would like to get to know a person who is open minded, willing, and comfortable enough to be themselves around me. No more faking, no more lying, no more codependences[ML1] , and no more lack of trust. I don’t want to try to force someone to get rid of things they knew before me because some of those things made them the person, they needed to be for them. But also, I want them to know and be able to let go of the things that hold them back.

Chile, I’m over the days where you have to be a partner’s parent and I’m not going to act like somedays you won’t be their parent. Chile, the difference is learning when and when not too. You know the old martyr complex I talk about. Where they have and issue and you come in and save them 24/7 to the point, they developed this sense of entitlement through love. Leaving you annoyed by the fact that this is an issue for you, but you never taught them to handled it on there own.

Maybe you lacked patience to show them and they followed suit with you, so you leave them helpless because you low key want them to learn from their mistakes. That it ends up causing more problems in the relationship because you see from the first time how they lacked care for what you do, and you have seen how you’ve created a monster. That’s the stuff I want to be able to work on in the relationship without us having to have mad sex, makeup sex, and sex as a cure for everything.

Developing some sort of third-party assistance into the relationship where the only time we can relate is because of sex. That’s too much pressure and its takes away from the experience of sex itself. Sex is a free-flowing spirit it is an art of intimacy that is led by actions and words of love that entice the mind. So, don’t ask me why I’m single because the coach don’t play the games. REMEMBER THAT!

Nawl niggas be thinking I’m playing when I be shooting my shot and they be playing too many head games. Chile, that shit will turn me off so damn fast because I feel like there is no need for that when you and somebody vibing it takes away from the real connection the relationship could have. I have dealt with enough emotional tyrants in my life to the point I don’t want to create another one. You know someone who feels the need to be manipulative to get there point across.

Chile, infants do that when they are fussy, cranky, annoyed, and seeking attention from their parents because they can’t talk yet. I always say my next relationship gone be real grown folk like, but we are going to have fun like kids.

But I just wanted to say don’t give up on love because you haven’t discovered love or how to love you yet. Don’t get mad when your seeking peace outside of you and you meet people who come an disturb your soul to teach you how to value you because that is the intention you put out there. It’s still some good people out here like hello! Nawl I’m just playing it is though you just have to not give up on hope because you ran into a couple of douche bags male or female.

Love is all around you! So, when you say you’re ready for a relationship be ready to give and receive because we tired of the relationship addicts. Those people who just like being in a relationship’s because they don’t want to be lonely. You know the ones who like to do couple shit, but you know it ain’t going nowhere. Yeah, we are staying away from the one-sided relationships. Those people who like to come suck up your love, feast on your energy, and leave you completely drained.

On that note I’m signing out!



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