Rushing through the process

Have you ever tried to put together something only to rush through it and felt okay with in the beginning? The stability of it is shaky but it works because you were so impatient to get it done that you did not get to actually appreciate it for the time being. So, now your longed with the idea of searching for what you had to find out that the store doesn’t carry it anymore. So, now your back trying something new only to do the same thing and pissed about. Well what is the lesson you could’ve learn from this patience. I know they say time waits for no one but what are you really doing with your time.

Healing is a inside job and requires a bit of time and patience that most people don’t have. I have seen people pay for counseling, therapist, and psychiatrist only to stop going after 2-3 session because they feel okay at the moment. Think about it you go to church on Sunday and the pastor is really touching your soul with the sermon he’s preaching. Your spirit is lifted only to return to work and those same things that bring you down. Now after you have gotten your social footing in church established you stop going. The blessing keeps coming and you’ve learned a few scriptures that came of your need of now but what happens when you are met with the same problems disguised as new. Spirituality has become trending really after I started following the healing place back in the year of 2015 on Instagram. I noticed how people took what she said and only used it for the moment and not eternity. Those same people who have stepped got mad because they didn’t want to stick to plan and have anger like she came in their life causing problems.

Honestly, you see people do this to their pastors putting them on higher pedestals only forgetting that there are teachers and sometimes a student can surpass the master. Not in since of being fulfilled with materials but a greater understanding of life. There are five stage of grief which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. And sometimes grief doesn’t work in that order. Like I mentioned in the first paragraph it started with acceptance and jumped to denial, bargaining, and depression. Most of the times we skip through the emotions we feel that aren’t serving us because we have to get this done. In the words of Mr. Nancy anger gets shit done but happens when it works against you. It is natural to not want to cry and second guess yourself because your mind is your greatest asset. In the words of my granny I was born at night and not last night. So, when your so folly and unwilling to accept help or reason you can work against yourself.

And also, because you are experiencing your emotions doesn’t mean that those around you have to be abused by your emotions. Honoring your emotions allows you time to process the feeling of why and learning what triggered them. Just because you know the problems does not mean your body has allowed itself time to recoup from the experience. Certain experiences can trigger unhealed emotions to come up. The biggest battle I was forced with in my soul work was being patient with myself because I was the strong friend. So, when I wasn’t getting over things like I used to I felt worse. Because the old Scorpio stinger only holds grudges when I choose to but what happens when your body and mind is in a turmoil. Do you fight more and make things worse or you relax and actually accept this isn’t going the way I want it to?

That was my best asset during those times of uncertainty. I am Scorpio so you know avoiding all the mushy gushy stuff is me well at least a part of me. I am secretive so I wouldn’t let you know you hurt me because you held power over me well at least that’s what I thought. Chile that was the story I told myself for 25 years. Honestly, it was because I never created time for myself, I was too busy being occupied with things that wouldn’t be occupied with me. All because I didn’t want to be forced to face the reality, I created thinking that God would fix it for me without me doing anything to help. Sadly, that is the reason why so many people are being tricked out of out their religion because they see people on social media play with magic. Chile, that another story for another day.

I do not know what part of your story you’re on right now in life but are actually aware of who the author is. What chapter are you stuck on and what part of your life you are constantly being drawn back to or forcing yourself to relive? Is it because it was once made you happy or it was so horrific? What about the present that is so uncomfortable for you to be able to move forward? What is your thought process in this journey? How you do honestly feel? What could be better? What do you really need? And are you allowing yourself to have full access to you? These are valuable questions that you should ask yourself out loud or in a journal. Do you have time for you? Just because you see someone better at something you struggle with does not mean you can’t ask for help. I mean it is tricky when your following positive patties online who seem to never have anything going wrong in life because that’s the way social media is made.

It creates this urgency to compete with people who are not in competition with you. Some people will gladly help only if you come prepared to ask and receive the help you need and not what you want? See I’ve noticed we live in a day age where people are scared to say the truth because it hurts and also because some messengers lack empathy and tact. I mean I have my moments because some people feel like they can do your job better than you. Only to be smacked with a reality that this a lot to bear and it takes a strong sense of self. So, I do not knock those who are in this field of expertise. Sometimes it’s a trying process to get someone to see the value in them and why they should see it. Especially coming from a place of non-flattery.

So, the next time you find yourself getting mad at yourself because you feel a certain way ask yourself am, I being impatient? I had to ask myself this today. Is their and urgency that requires me to move to next phase so easy. Life isn’t college. College gives you quarters and time when projects, homework assignments need to be turned in, and being on time. That’s somebody else rules because they have other people needs that need to meet outside of theirs. Majority of the time we live in a worker’s mind thinking being a busy bee gets the job done. When in reality you have done nothing. In order to heal you must feel and allow the help to help you. How can someone help you when you will not let them. Pride was one of my many problems because it left me with nothing but heartache in strife. So, drop the charade and get the help you need because being bottle up only leaves you room to self-combust.

If you always do what you always done, you’ll always get what you always done. -Henry Ford (Hanged Man Reversed)