Rough Patches

Its normal to argue but what happens when that’s the only form of communication that exist between you and your lover. Depending on who’s the dominate one in the relationship all you have to do is say something to hurt the other feelings to leave the argument or shout the loudest. Now this isn’t the healthiest way of communication but for some people it works. Some people have even mastered being calm and think their the most rational one because they don’t become enraged with emotions, they feel they can be right. Well newsflash they still can be wrong have you ever heard of passive aggressive, body language, and eye contact. The number one problem with communication is most people feel when your speaking they have to have control over your expression. Meaning you have to always been in a corrective space the right tone, amount of tact, and the correct verbiage. I mean it amazes me how people feel when your expressing yourself you have to be always on point especially with your lover.

But what happens when your lover is tired of your antics or is feeling a little bit of drained? Do you have patience to receive the message or you dominate the conversation with your emotions because their not being empathic to your cause? This is number one cause for couples who struggle with communication issues. One has either become to engrained with getting their way that other just goes along to keep peace that when the other person snaps are bets are off. And when they let loose, they hold no remorse and feel justified because their needs aren’t being met as well. Now I’m talking about emotional needs. By women being labeled emotional beings some women take advantage of the idea of flying off at the mouth and wanting to apologize like everything is okay. While men who have unhealthy emotional coping, skills let things build until he finally breaks something or your confidence. Over time it destroys the intimacy in the relationship to truly relax and enjoy each other company. To be in a space of understanding and love is really powerful because it keeps each other from having bait topics and instigating actions.

NOW MEN LET’S GET INTO YOU!

You know I always say watch your tact, tone, and gestures because in most cases, by you guys being apathetic creatures it works against you. It truly does and below we gone break down the concept so get you’re note pad ready or ready to screenshot.

· TACT: - Adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues. I do believe in emotional expression whether it comes out rude or well put together, but it is a time and a place for everything. Now as a man you are blessed with the ability to be an influential individual, but it only works with you when you master yourself. When are you losing control of your manhood you allow your spouse or other people dictate your life path. Meaning those things your uncomfortable with, you will allow because you haven’t tapped into your power to guide and redirect circumstances. So, when you feel unworthy of your presence you revert to demeaning tactics because it’s a reflection of losing control.

· TONE: - The general character or attitude of place, piece of writing, situation. Being aggressive isn’t going to get your point across. Calling me all types of stupid ass bitches isn’t going to make me hear you and keep in mind I’m a woman. Eventually you’ll just hurt my feelings so much to the point where I detach emotionally from you or say messed up things back. And a lot of you men have some overactive root chakras so, you wanting to have make up sex isn’t going to happen. Because when her emotions follow her decisions you can hang it up on changing her mind. Like the old saying if you have you have nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all unless your really trying to kill the mood. LOL 😊 You know how when some women get mad the louder they get, they get the annoying they sound that’s you guys but more in losing control way. Sometimes it can be scary for your partner to communicate with you or they may like to get you riled up

· GESTURES: A movement of part of the body, especially a hand or the head, to express and idea or meaning. You know how condescending this whole message is going to sound just go with it. When you step into your power and all parts of you as a man you don’t have to do all that finger pointing and the tenseness of the shoulders to show your emotions. All your showing is anger and not that your hurt. I know some men have a problem communicating issues because your lover throws them back in your face. Revert to the tone paragraph. Now that isn’t a cool thing to do but men yall are some of the most judgmental M************! That’s why some of you won’t open up because you haven’t had a chance to and low key you be side eying people going through things you to embarrassed to admit or you feel their stupid. For me it just shows how some men aren’t comfortable with themselves and their human experience by how you live your life pleasing others except yourself. Being firm isn’t being rude and being rude isn’t cute. So, try standing in the mirror and look at your demeanor sometimes before you go have that conversation with your lover. And be open to honest feedback from a non-bias space.

NOW LADIES LET’S GET INTO YOU:

As I defined tact, tone, gestures for men I felt it was no need to do the same down here but with you guys, you get something different. The last word to the phrase would be POINT! Ladies, having long emotional conversation that lead to no where with no valid points is annoying as hell. Your mate isn’t one of the girls you sit on the phone and gossip with. Women the cons of men being influential we are easily influenced. You would argue to say different but think about it we all have duped in some way or another. Self-restraint comes with trial and error not from wanting to limit your life because you see other people going through the things that have nothing to do with your life. Or being judgey because you wouldn’t make the choices someone else has. You have your own life to live so being consumed with other people issues isn’t going to fix you.

Now when you find yourself unhappy what do you do? Do you think it is your partners job to pacify your emotions? How often do you do this? Can your man or lover get the same time you give your friends? Do you grant patience with yourself or lover often? And last but least have you mastered your own emotions. Now if your answer was majority no, or a slight pause like WTF then chile you have some growing to do. See the old folks used to say happy wife happy life only because those men would fuck up royalty and his old lady would have to help him. So, we were conditioned into believing that marriage was about men catering your every need. When quite frankly that’s impossible off the bat because it takes time to learn a person true interest.

So, as we grew up from being little girl with a large amount of responsibilities while boy got away with scot free murder it caused some resentment. Deep down from within that was passed from generation to generation. Leaving you to be limited in your human experience and grow with your emotions. This is why when your having a bad day you spread that anger like a wildfire because your lack of understanding with yourself. What narrative is in your mind when it comes to the relationship you have with love? Are they supposed to save you? See going by traditional marriages and the relationship women had with me child you wouldn’t be able to speak and at least he wouldn’t care about your day. Just being honest those men where pompous assholes.

They were lovers of self-raising men to be cursed by the actions of their ancestors leaving them room to only put up with the emotional upheavals of women. Because they lacked mastering themselves and like many women you know how to manipulate men or friends into getting things you want. See when you over do it, you cause your lover to work against you because your emotional tricks is cute in the beginning. But, when he wants to take reins that’s when your emotional tactics work against you. Depending on your lover they have allowed you to get your way for so long that you don’t know when to take a backseat. And when you want take the backseat you’ll forced by him either cheating or allowing you to fail at things so he can teach you something. It’s messed up at ain’t it but that how the game goes when the relationship isn’t built on honesty. So, the next your find yourself flipping out about something that could’ve been said at a later time. As yourself is this really worth my peace. Is my man really capable of things I want him to do?

Am I romanticizing someone else’s lover actions to be minds? Just because you feel things don’t always mean your being logical to overreact. I’m not saying you have to be tiptoeing around subjects with your man but is some argument really worth it from 4 years ago. Let it go. It’s easier said than done.