Reputation Vs Repetition

Sometimes your reputation can supersede what you have set out to accomplish in life. Ooh trust me I know because in the words of Neon Trees the song everybody talks to much is just about it. People be running they damn mouth so fast that they don’t even have time to stop and think about what damage they could do to someone’s career, kids, money, and finances. I mean hell I been in my room trying to see how I could make this educatory while at the same time sassy, but I baby I guess its sassy.

The only reason this came up for me because in the month of August I had people going off an old script of who I was only to recreate the same drama. I mean Narcissist are some pretty damn fucked up individuals but hey you have to give credit when credit is due, this motherfucker doesn’t own up to shit. So, he uses diversion tactics majority of the time for other people to get caught up in drama instead of holding him accountable. TRUE STORY!

While in the meantime I sat back and watched folks who I thought support me and not my channel or what I can do for them play both sides because the real them jumped out for one second. I mean as much as we talk about shadow work baby a lot of people shadow was exposed by participating in antics that don’t serve them. They’ll be the same ones talking about the inequality that goes on in their life wanting us to feel a way about the things that happen to them that they do the same to others on the low.

I mean life is tricky ain’t it, but I digress let’s get into the damn blog post.

As child when I was growing up you guys have heard me say my granny used to say girls are to be seen and not heard. It took me many years to learn what she meant by that because it’s easier for a woman to get a hard name than a man. A man can sleep with many women and never be called a whore a diseases carrier but a woman it’s a different story. I’m not saying that is okay for either to do but to each is own when it comes to your body.

As I started to challenge the narrative when it came to people and my interactions with the opposite sex baby men don’t like it when you challenge, they ego. And the women that praise the men for who they are and don’t help them to become what they are not ain’t gone take to kindly to you disrespecting they masa. Baby they will jump on the bandwagon behind a man who ain’t shit but long as he got some paper, take care of kids, pay bills, and do the shit he supposed to do but get praised for it they gone shun the shit out of you.

Everybody knows I been dealing with this project since 2014 I have had women who have tried to shame me because they said I didn’t know what a good man was. While in the meantime I was going home balling my eyes out because the same man they praised used to tell lies about me. The same way I was nobody I became a somebody when people wanted to speak on me, and they didn’t help my situation. The same people who aided in my demise be the same ones asking for help. I mean hey its funny how a lot of people ain’t never heard if you don’t have nothing nice to say then don’t say nothing at all.

But for me it showed me how one little lie change a person’s whole life especially when it is feed to the right people. I mean I watched countless of times after someone had blackballed me in the City of Memphis and slandered my name with numerous of lies. My own parents, family, sister, cousin, ex, and everybody else believed this motherfucker before me. God play all day and the hardest part was waiting my turn to get the hell on. You don’t know how many times I had to do the walk of shame because of some little boy who was mad because I didn’t want to date him.

Because his mama like many women raise their sons to be big and strong and saying, he’s going to conquer the world and I guess he thought that was the people in it too. The lies and humiliation tactics had people thinking I was a joke like they can say whatever they want, do whatever they want, and also treat me as such. While at the same time I’m supposed to be standing there with the Get Out face saying no no no no, while smiling and grinning.

Well honey that ain’t work for me because I was hurt and truthfully a lot of those lies dug up a lot of childhood wounds for me that I thought I healed. But I didn’t I just had created a coping mechanism to deal with the bullshit like many people do. You get up, you go to work, you come home, and do the same thing over and over again. Thinking somehow you have deserved to live a good life that you haven’t been prepared for or even put in the work for it.

I mean society will really blow your mind if you let it. But I thought to myself how many times somebody has told you something about someone and you didn’t stop to fact check it. And when I say fact check it, I mean asking where I can find this information and why do you feel so comfortably telling me this. I mean I get humor and gossip is one and the same right but when it leads with lies that affect your outer reality where people don’t want to work with you, or hang with you, or date, or simply be friends with you that’s just plain cruel. And get a load of this women still be wanting me to be this nigga friend how?

I mean I am not bias at all, but I can’t get back those 6 years of people harassing me speaking on me like they know me. I can’t get back the money I was fucked out of on deals and I damn sholl can’t go back undo all the damage that weighed on me and my child. But let society tell me and my family tell me I am supposed to be grateful and tote the ghetto on my back i.e. the bullshit of everybody else.

I mean this one time I choose me, and this it is a problem I mean they work, they got homes, children, husbands, wives, and bills so why I can’t enjoy the fruits of my labor in peace. I mean away from a fucking camera and somebody always asking me for something or doing something for fucking nothing.

But I wrote all this to say that is very common to keep doing the same thing over and over again. Especially when you have been told what to do, when to do, and expected to do on day to day basis I mean its pretty hard to think for yourself or even for others when you haven’t even tried to get to know you. So down below I left you some dictionary words that kind of have the same meaning to this situation I’m talking about you know that whole synonym thing.

Repute- commonly known as

Repeat- do or say something many times

Rumors- story/ tell barriers of doubt uncertainty

Gossip- reports of people, details that aren’t true

Continuation- actions to do so something over a period of time