Recollection
When a child isn’t embraced they tend to seek solace in a world full humans who can be cruel for no reason. That never stop to self reflect upon their actions and how their actions affect those who come up behind them. Leaving us as humans having to repair things we did not break. And let me tell you as one tired black sister I’m tired of cleaning up everybody else’s shit.
And by shit I mean tolerating unnecessary rudeness, trauma, burdens, run arounds, and bad behavior. You can’t say you don’t feel they same because they sigh I just let out was heavy it seemed as if it was for the rest of us. Because after COVID and this sap as year I think we all are looking for a win. It got the healers giving up on their missions, the preacher not wanting to preach, and the leaders not wanting to lead. Talk about a mood killer.
Especially for us with healthy inner child experiences. This year has felt like being the older sibling while your younger siblings got to have fun while all you did was work and do as your told. Speaking of that energy doesn’t it breed resentment? Will get back on that, but this is what this year has felt like for me. It has me ready to square up with God because of the hard work I have put in only to have those who choose to play on my time cause discomfort and lack accountability.
Child, I’m currently taking my apologizes in cash, cars, bonds, and stocks thank you. Because somebody saying let’s work it out, we gone work on this, and my favorite I’m sorry has me over the limit. It’s like damn parrot you don’t have nothing else to say and while we on this is it me or motherfuckers don’t even try no more. They don’t even say this how I am they just move without cognizance for anyone else.
It’s like what the hell is wrong with you? Are you living in the real world where other people exist or is just you on that plane? Cause shawty is tired of hearing the same thing, saying the same thing, and talking about the same thing. I ask myself all the time are you in grade school because I don’t learn by repetitous behavior pattering. Got me walking around here half cocked like I know we just talked about this. So, why is this coming back up again?
I could see if I was putting out metaphysical pleas for answers to certain question but a hoe ain’t even had time to do that? So, this world wind of stale old problems is like emotionally draining and a buzz kill. Like seriously, all I want to do is stay in the cut and it’s impossible when my phone is going off with notifications about someone visiting the site and my ass ain’t drop no content in a week.
Meanwhile I’m saying to myself get it together Marshae you got shit to do. I’m truly starting to see as I look back on some of my compadres life that some folks don’t have shit to lose. And the problems we have in common is that some people well help you lose it all even if you feel like you don’t make a major impact on this world.
It is true because if you make someone feel special, bring hope, happiness, or the realm of love you have people who are mad going around on some rebel shit because they haven’t figured out what works for them. And keep in mind it isn’t even on some hater shit it just to keep you distracted from you. Folks be a whole a mess out here and what makes it worse is the ones who go along with it.
MAKE SURE YOU STAY FOCUSED, PRAYED UP, AND SPIRITUALLY PROTECTED. I HOPE THIS MESSAGE FINDS YOU IN GREAT SPIRITS.
CIAO