MENTAL HEALTH CHALENGES:
Like most people who suffer from some form of mental illness you struggle with your day-to-day emotional patterning and this affects your behavioral skills that you have with other people. It becomes hard to function when you are around new people and adjust to new settings that it leaves you feeling as if you should completely run for hills. Meaning leaving all psychological programming in the wind and toss out of your medication and say fuck this I'm going to make it. Which is perfectly fine with me but you also have to take into account of the actions you bestow on others when you are not sure of who you are without your daily measures. Now some people don’t need medication they can walk around completely sane minded to other people but they have their vices too.
Whether that be writing, creative hobbies, walking, running, smoking, or drinking. Some things work for others but what work for them may not work for you. For most people who are new to journaling or taking care of their mental health they fail to actual take into who they are not what they are trying to become when they are trying to understand their own diagnosis. It's like the doctor saying you have this take this and everything is going to be okay and you're looking like what the fuck this. What am I supposed to do, the fact that you are looking for change the placebo affects kicks in immediately because you feel you have found a cure to your problem. Which for some people medicine can be the key to them being a functioning adult in society meaning to get up, got to work, to take care your kids, or generally feel better.
Only you’ll know your situation with your diagnosis and what pushed you to seek out some form of alternate approach to help you with your mental health. But for those who not only need therapy, a life coach, and a life change they tend to get the lesser deal of the mental health field. This is why you see some people who tend to go get help turn around and say they feel like the meds isn't doing anything, so they end up substituting the medicine for some alternate heavy drug. Doing the work has been substituted for saying hey, take this medicine those traumas you have will instantly fade away. Like what the hell is this you're trying to do put a nigga to sleep or something. As person who is highly spiritually and believe in the logic mind of humans you are bound at some point to repeat the past once again. Either because you have not learned from a situation at hand, you are not cognizant that you are doing it, or you feel that you are better than who you were so you developed this false sense of trust with yourself that allows you to reopen the past.
I am all for healing and I think it does take drastic measures to heal yourself but the way people promote this stuff now and days is like this quick instant solution to problems that are unrealistic. So, you end up back where you started at. Which is the feeling like shit phase when you already feel that way now. I am not saying that to be rude or condescending but it’s realistic it's like you are breaking yourself before you even get the chance to actually try something new. I don’t know what is that you do before you go off seeking help or solace in the arms of people who play martyr just make sure you are doing it when you are asking about the help of a person who is supposed to help you. Meaning pray about the help that you are receiving. Ask your spirit guides is this person teachings for me. Like a candle, swing a pendulum, flip a card, or set a number between you and the universe and look for it.
If the answer comes back no that doesn’t mean that person isn’t for you, they may not have the tools to meet you where are at the moment. You may be at an impasse were you about to bypass the teachings someone is teaching remember someone is always behind you. The goal is to keep looking forward when you learn to shed the past way of yourself. Remember you are a lesson and teacher to someone else too. Teachers wouldn’t know how to teach if they didn't have certain encounters with certain human to help them expand their albites to help other people too. But before I leave, I wanted to leave you with a few tips for your journal especially if you have started some new medication this season.
Knowing what is your dosage? Are you going up in your prescription medication or down. Why is this change happening now? How does the medications make you feel? No, I'm not talking about the two days span of taking the pills and it makes you feel off. How is you encounter with other people are you able to notice a shift in things. Is your vision better, appetite, mood, libido, and drive different? These are questions you have to ask yourself, study, and jot down. Because you don’t want to be the trial version of a patient where your doctor is passive about your mental health needs and just giving you shit to take because they feel you are too needy or complain too much. I would try to do a 30 challenge of monitoring yourself but 15 is fine to be realistic. Make sure you are incorporating those days you did or not bath, clean, cook/eat, and your overall needs that are a drain for you.
2. When it comes down to your social engagements you have with people do you notice a difference in them? Have you taken into account how you have had a different approach with them? Not to be in a negative way but how your general happiness, sobriety, and cleanliness of the mind affected them. Is there any frictions in those groups you have with people? Do they know you were diagnosed as such or with such? Do they label you, your mental illness and if so, how does this affect your emotional happiness? Is your healing based upon how they view you or your need to not let others down. Be honest have you ever messed up some relationships due to mental illness but not because of it. Like you blamed it on the mental illness but it really, was you? So, your need to get help and actually chill out is based upon the people who did you wrong or the ones who did you wrong? Is your healing journey based up on the survival of certain relationships you have at this time. Write down your engagements you have with people so you when you go to therapy or workshops it can help you can unpack what you experienced with those people around you. Emotional expressions is cool and if you are not the best communicator then writing and reflecting can help you feel and access things better instead of holding onto resentment.
BECAUSE IMA BE HONEST YOUR HEALING IS GOING TO COST YOU A COUPLE OF RELATIONSHIPS ONCE YOU RECONGNIZE THAT SOME PEOPLE RELY ON YOU TO BE ABSENT OF WHO YOU REALLY ARE! # TRUE STORY! BUT DON’T GIVE UP KEEP GOING!