MENTAL HEALTH CHECK:
After a reading I just did I said damn it isn't that many people that have mental health issues some people be lying and trying to justify their shitty behavior behind the title of a mental illness. Now this isn't a sign from the universe to drop your meds and say yes, I have been looking for a sign and this is it. You not fina blame that on me I did not say that I'm just saying those who are diagnosed might not need to be diagnosed and those who say they need to diagnosed like a motherfucker because they be wreaking havoc in the community. Some people don’t come from environments where they have soft parenting and people with the understanding of what a child needs so they become the product of their environment. We are now in the day and age where people are no longer oblivious to parents being jealous of their children light.
Sometimes it isn't your success it is the light you have after the heartbreak you endured, the trauma you survived, having the choice to make the same decisions they made but didn’t, and not going down the same pathways they have. I mean it's funny how much they want us to have a better life materialistically and physically but it is never an emotional and mental aspect. I mean parents be messing us up and expect us to go off and get into marriages, maintain jobs, make friends, be successful, and have kids. All the meanwhile we are managing trauma, lack of boundaries, lack of emotions, not knowing how to process grief, and having a basic life. When these are key dominators, we need to survive in this society because if we don’t have these things, we end up ruining ourselves through people and those people go off and ruin other people.
It's like a cycle that doesn’t seem to want to end, but you can end it and when you do, don’t allow someone to make you feel bad. Because being emotionally closed off isn’t cute because you deny yourself love, you find yourself searching and yearning for things you cannot have. Becoming angry about the things you are unwillingly to work for it. Because it isn’t a psychical thing with a price that can be bought but it is the genuinity that comes from your soul. So, when we met people who ask us to come as we are, it can seem as if people are being disingenuous because this is something we don’t know. We try to find ways to destroy their peace because we know we can’t meet them where they are. This doesn’t make us bad people and we shouldn’t make it our focus but it should be a thought that you should always remember on your path.
Especially for those who are trying to heal and welcome in more peace, love, and support. Sometimes we can become to stuck in the same old emotional patterning that anything foreign to us can come off as threat when it really isn’t. That sometimes you think the emotions you are giving off is acceptable to someone when it is completely the opposite and when someone makes a fuss about your behavior patterning it becomes a problem and you villainize everybody. Leaving you in the mind frame that people should take it or leave and when they decide to leave, I don’t see what the big fuss is about. I am firm believer in what the next person won’t do somebody else will.
And I don’t think that in a selfish way to always get what I want but if the environment isn’t willing to adapt to the needs of me and I am always the one giving then what is my purpose. I have noticed that the more I decide to work on myself I find certain people being mad that their tactics don’t work on me. It wasn’t because I was naïve I just didn’t care as long as I could get away from those people but when I seen that I had to constantly put relationships on hold and topics on pause it made issues grow worse for me. I didn’t understand that I was enabling certain behaviors because the same way they have a mind of their own I also had mind of my own too. And like many humans who have experienced many of dramatic fallouts, feeling like you aren't heard, and constantly having to repeat yourself you learn to put you first just like those individuals do with no remorse involved.
I am a firm believer that fat meat is greasy and one day you will learn but not at my expense. I am not some love and light healer who believes that everybody deserves a second chance in your life some people don’t need a second chance to hurt you, betray you, lie to you, and keep stuff going. If you have spoken your peace about an issue, doing the work to unpack that, creating tangible solutions, and working on your triggers then why should you be involved with those who purposely do shit on purpose. That’s like the mentality of I'll spend a check and get it right back and each day you're without money you understand why you can’t burn through all your money.
I mean sometimes the lessons be as simple as that and it be hard to grasp when you're always in an environment, emotions, state of mind, or being that’s keeps you from you. Moral of the story stop saying THIS IS WHO I AM and wanting people be in your life either you change or they’ll do it for YOU it by exiting your life.
P.S. IF YOU LOOKING FOR A SIGN, THEY HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!