Marriage Goals

Lord be with me because I don’t want to rewrite this whole thing. Jesus be a fence because y’all know I hate repeating myself.

A long time ago I would write these think pieces, nawl they wasn’t no think pieces it was a way I used to connect with people virtually once a week. It was a way for me to create more time management because the problems people had going on started to roll over into my life. I used to break down different problems just in a more in-depth way. But when boundaries started to get crossed I revoked a lot of things. With all that being said let’s get into the blog…

MARRIAGE AND SHACKING:

A lot of people feel that marriage is nothing but a piece of paper when I beg to differ. And moving in with someone is just an act of love because you feel that you don’t want to be apart from them. When marriages happen there is a merger that take place as well as if you were to move in with someone. People take things for granted and deem these actions as futile. Because what is love when you decided to stay with someone, to marry someone, or be a part of their life.

You always hear me say that when someone doesn’t submit to the art of love, they find themselves trying to manage the day-to-day affairs in their relationships. Love doesn’t decide a place to stay in a relationship it is the people in the relationship trying to manage and obtain it. People have a funny way of looking at things and blaming it on love when love is a freedom of expression and emotions implicated by actions.

That it leaves the collective of people who are trying to find love or stay in it confused about the direction they take. Every time I encounter someone that is married, I ask them why did you get married? I get different answers and different results from different people. Ask someone why they want to get married this day and age it is always based on sharing memories or recreating old one based off of illusion.

Some may say it’s lie or I’m lying but they actions tell me otherwise. Marriage has been mislabeled as a slave ship, ownership, and bondage. Rather love support, growth, experience, unrestricted movements and awareness. A lot of people say they wanted this or married for this but is the relationship still the same? Why do you continuously argue about the same things? Why is the discussion for marriage just frowned upon or labeled the end all be all?

Like seriously your happiness or knowing how to live your life isn’t important? You have to wait until you find someone to do this? I get it some people don’t experience this type of growth until they get with someone who is more patient or in tune with themselves to reach a certain level of self-mastery. But the way people act like marriage is the key to unlocking yourself for everybody is weird to me.

Believe what you believe while I be over at peace eating my snacks like raccoon in survival mode. For those of you in marriages do even know the person you are married too? I’m not talking about the day-to-day mundane things. Like what time they wake up, what’s their favorite food, what time they go to work, what stores they frequent, or their favorite cologne or perfume? Do you know the reason of why they do what they do? Do you know why your relationship is at current state or the direction it leading in?

Like these are serious questions people skip over without feeling entitled to some part of person. Because love this day and age seems to be lacking because people feel love is some happiness that breaks even. Like they are supposed to be the continuous reason someone feels the need to wake up every day. My child that is burden to carry to me. You may respond and say well you ain’t married.

Sweetie I had the option several times to get married in my last relationship I just didn’t believe we should get married because I loved him. Because I don’t believe marriage is 50/50. Because, when you and a person who is so codependent on each other so much. You fail to recognize that you create the scenario that you can’t live without them because your needs have become their needs. I didn’t want that reality for me, it didn’t mean I didn’t love him any less it was just my pause and hard stop.

Because the little things that aggravate me in the beginning was the same things that killed the relationship off in the end. I always say that the like phase is dangerous in the beginning because while you’re so focused on the good you try to continuously find in them it doesn’t erase the problems of the future. And the time I needed and he needed to develop into the individual we needed to be it left us incompatible but a place of comfort. And in my life, I don’t need comfort and routine.

And it took years of growth an self-evolution for me to understand what I wanted wasn’t bad and what he needed wasn’t bad because our plans didn’t align. And by the way let me add in he was a lil too emotional at times for me. But this ain’t about me this about y’all and this ain’t for the think piece police people to be like “SEE A BLACK MAN CAN NEVER BE EMOTIONAL”. AIN'T NOBODY SAY THAT! There’s a difference in emotional vulnerability then someone who is emotional manipulative and emotional withholding.