Hey, I just wanted to say that somedays healing is going to have its days and that is perfectly fine. But I also wanted to say it's not your right to go off and probe into people business, with social media around this day and age we have people who come off as caring when they really are trying to find a way to be messy, nosey, and hurtful. Some people don’t care about how life hurt you. They only care about the attention that you get from the pain that life has caused you. You have many people who pose as caring, understanding, and empathic to your plight. Meanwhile on the other hand if you ever had an interaction with a narcissist victim, they will tell you it started off that way as person being genuinely invested about their problems. Only later to find out down the line this person ended up using their trauma against them.
I miss the good old-fashioned days when a journalist would hunt down for a story and do a great exposé. I’m not saying I live for the mess, but it showed courage, tenacity and the will power of a person who was driven to get the truth. Sometimes that truth may have hurt some people along the way but no more or no less it was truth. And you seen their intentions from them the gate it wasn’t the energy of I’m hiding like I care because low key I don’t give a shit. Only later to find out the reason they helped you was because it minimized the issues they have going on in their life or it was great entertainment for them. Many people who are called to be psychiatrist, therapist, and healers will tell you it isn’t a joke seeing people torn about up life and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. How you forget the boundaries you’re supposed to establish with them and the days you take home their pain.
Because sometimes it’s tough being in a world where you’re told to be cold and to feel nothing and just do your job, make your money, take your vacation days, and find a way to numb your pain to life. Well, everyone doesn’t live that way and that is perfectly fine. I hate the fact that social media has people so desensitized to be able to speak their pain. If we weren’t made to feel pain baby, we wouldn’t have reincarnated into this lifetime to be a human. I find myself writing this blog because it kind of disturbed me a little bit to have people to probe all into my business. I found it awkward because everybody knows the true story of what happened with my social media rise to fame. And let me tell you it wasn’t a pretty one and its not one I’m ashamed of, but I know when somebody trying to play me like a fool.
I have had many people come along with blue checks, big pockets, elitist, and dark workers who think I’m some gullible as bitch looking to be saved when it’s completely the opposite. They are the ones who are looking to be saved it’s not me it is them who are searching for a part of themselves in this big, lonely world. And that’s okay I was one of you guys until I finally decided to commit the process of me and not in a selfish way looking to fulfill my life with money, women, men, greed, power, and to be liked by everyone. I just dared to love myself out loud the same way I did in private. Because the world has a way of calling those crazy who dare to love, to get counseling, to say no to drama, to not fit in, make those who feel like change is bad, and isolate those who cares to much about others more than themselves.
Its okay to say no I do not care to explore that subject with you. You don’t make me safe enough to talk with you. I don’t think you care enough about the issue at hand to even hear me out. Are you a good secret keeper? Do you really care or are you pretending too? Your feelings matter to I don’t know who told you that not communicating was going to give you the healing that you need. So, you can journal all the pain away but if you still don’t have the courage to stand up and speak up for yourself even when your voice trembles. Those things that bother you will never how they had you fucked up. OKAY! So, on that note I’m fina watch a shit ton of TV and y’all gals have fun with out me.