As the year closes it seems as if the universe is taking some photo shot of all of the memories we have created while walking in this human existence. For some it may seem as if the scrapbooks and photo collages are all out and we are all teary eyed about how we thought our year was going to be. For some they achieved their goals, started that business, beat the odds when it came to health issues, and for others it seems as if we got the shit end of the stick. It doesn’t make it any better with all of the retrogrades that has been going and coming. It’s like that State Farm commercial saying gotta be quicker than that as we chase our goals relentlessly.
And I will say it till I’m blue in the face where is the new year new me post we need that hood negro hymn that kept us going. Did Covieisha run y’all off out of the group chat or did life just life so hard that it had us all saying damn I need a break. Seriously, my body has been telling me to go sit the hell down and guess what I’m doing sitting down in criss cross apple sauce. And why do they say criss cross applesauce because applesauce isn’t criss cross?
You know what I want to do be in the mountains or on a beach no phone, no drama, just vibes, and peace. Somehow I will return to the real world to do my nigga duties to wreak havoc on the collective but lately I have been tired. I want a dog so it can love me and I love it back while at the same time I want a body massage butt botty ball naked. Yes, I said it, I want to be oiled up and rubbed down. Preferably at some fancy spa and then coming home to my children of chaos and saying how did I get here. Fantasy child fantasy is what the fuck that is because that shit ain’t happening anytime soon. Well, the fantasy about coming home to my chaos because I got one child and he is a teenager. Child, that nigga getting old and ima be 26 till I’m 40.
With a little nip and tuck there and I’ll age like fine wine and laugh at those people who say you look so ravishing darling and tell them all these fake ass remedies I use and watch them squirm in chaos because it actually takes a routine and dedication. I DON’T HAVE FUCKING TIME FOR THAT! God out here two piece serving my ass in out of trials and tribulations and I’m in the corner fighting for my fucking my life. Meanwhile he is laughing at my pain because I’m this close to giving the fuck up. NOT ON LIFE BUT THE LIFE I WANT! Jesus, I thank him for the grace he gave the hoes because they are winning like a mother trucker. This is they season for grace and favor. I missed my shot, and I don’t want to get on that bus anytime soon.
You can keep that trauma, the lack of intimacy, paranoia of falling in love, and insecurities. I think I did a pretty good job at ruining my life in my early twenties running away from my problems because I was trying to be grown. So, those problems already hit your girl like a freight train in the most unnecessary times in life and I’m still learning and growing from that shit now. Boy what I would give to be a kid again because you didn’t have no worries. You just woke and lived life until you recognized that you were grown, and you could do whatever you wanted to do because following the rules all the time is boring. As long as I am not harming anyone, putting them in harms way, or putting them down then a little rule breaking isn’t so bad.
Especially if it leads me to being lighthearted and carefree at my own expense. I just wanted to say this year alone has been long and fast at the same time. It gave us all the vibes of that one ex we had so much belief in, you know the one we wish would’ve changed, stayed, or even fought for you. Girl, this is your sign to run for hills and never look back it’s a trap. And don’t take this sentence so literal this isn’t for those of you in a relationship and mad about Bob leaving the bread open again. On the phone saying girl he gets on my nerves, I’m so tired of him but be laid up with him every night. Just a little pro tip for you guys stop speaking so negatively on your relationship to outsiders. Because when you set the precedence for other people to see a person in a negative light they will never embody their light the way you do.
It will always be this battle between who you’ve known the longest versus who you love in the most courageously way. As we roll into this number year 6 be careful of who you ask for help in certain situations because the help might not be the help you need. The negatives to a number 6 person or persona could be more domineering, egotistical, and do things they think that is in your best interest. If COVID ain’t taught us nothing niggas still gone find another way to make some shit shake. You can’t keep a dog down for to long before he realizes he is a dog again. Until we meet again.