Jesus Be A Fence

In the meantime, we’re going to have to wait until the next month before we start back pushing out the monthly horoscopes. Outside of being stalked, harassed, and cyberbullied it seems as we can’t have nothing without someone having a hissy fit. I take my time and come up with quality content and meanwhile all it gets is shitted on, all because somebody didn’t think of it first. Child, you know how people is when they didn’t invent something first, think of first, or invest in it first. America the home of the bullies where they feel like if they want they can take it. This is one the problems that causes a social divide amongst us. You remember when social media divided all of us like from social statuses, clicks, likes, views, and comments until it marginalized all of us in a box. Now, you have everybody dying to come up with some short trend that only last about 2 weeks best and then it’s gone. Talk about instant gratification! Sighs, in a tired baby mama voice that just got off from working a double staying in the ghetto and wanting my son to make it to college.

Yes, this is what we have succumb to in this reality, its funny how we all want different but the minute something stays the same you have people wanting to put you back in your place. Like who made them sovereign ruler over you and let me say it’s not everyone, but the constant drama is draining. It’s like the older you get you start to see how drama is always going to be trendy because its easier to latch onto. I remember when people would just go on by they way and say child we don’t mess with so and so and stayed out the way. You know the kinfolk your mama nem never let you go over because they always got you in trouble or your sneakers always came back dirty when your mama spent her last on you. Yeah, that’s the he type of silence I adore. If you don’t have nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all.

You get grown figure shit out on your own and learn from your mistakes or see what your mistakes have made of you. But boy, you can’t do that in this economy. Shit, the way pure pressure sitting at 5:00, hoe life at 7:00, and finding a man is on the corner at 12:00. It’s like when do you get to value your human experience. I couldn’t wait to get old to do grown people shit like drive a car, own my house, tell my parents no, go on vacation, and breaking my own rules. You know the principles my parents, elders, and kinfolks tried to distill in me. Like be a better person, stay out the streets, don’t hang around them, everybody is not your friend, you have to have man by 25 or nobody would want you. Yeah, I was ready to throw all that bullshit away and I did.

Some of these kids today will probably ever have that experience that we had when was younger because you have so many people dying to be famous only to suffer from depression. It’s like how sway to constantly have people criticize you, tell you what you need to do, and your life ain’t lit unless you know so and so. Boring give me the bliss the genuine happiness, authentic smiles, courageous, the girl who crazy enough to change the world, the boy or girl who smokes to much weed, the hippie, the gypsy, the pagan witch, the occult, or just it all. I’m tired of feeling like I’m boxed in only for those who are scared to live in their truth tell me my truths. This life is made to make mistakes so that we can evolve but planned drama just gives recyclism. It’s like we been there been done that where’s the new?

Everything is about a money now and days and feeding a market what it is they are used to but what happens when they get sick of tired of it. Like what do you do? Honestly, I find myself asking myself this when I find myself being the only one fighting for change. It’s like the others don’t want too until they hurt, bullied, harassed, and shut down to finally stand in their power. And they aren’t even strong enough to go to war because sometimes when you heal the wound they run right back to the source of the problem. Hey, you can’t save everybody. It’s like we are taking 1 step forward and 3 steps back right, by the way that’s my jam!

I have been a placed where I have been pissed for years and I continuously find ways to change the issue but there is always some Uncle Tom who is willing to sacrifice the village. So, the time it takes for me to build it back up you have someone that is coming in to destroy something because of their misdirected anger. It’s like I’m the orange seller in front of the bodega in Cuba and kids think its funny because their friends do it all the time. Little do they know the friend is poor, in need of assistance, and goes home to a lonely house every night. It doesn’t make it excusable, but one does understand pain, and nobody never stops to say this could be me. Not the orange seller but the person who gets up everyday with drive to conquer, to survive, to live, and provide. They never stop and say how would I feel if this was me and I had to go through this every day. No, because it requires them to stop thinking about themselves, to address the issues the mask thy put on, and to face the lies they have told.

So, mentally I’m on an island and my grown ass kids which is y’all whom I have raised so well can’t seem to keep from calling me and asking where I put this at. Like you ain’t never lived here before, like I don’t explain things, like I don’t encourage you, and like I don’t share the love always. It’s like my heartaches from the disgust I have put up with these past few years. I am very grateful for the blessings I have had so far on this journey but the disrespect and lies I endure on a daily basis just has me. At this moment I’m over it. I’m tired of the waiting game, guessing game, I’m sorry game, the gaslighting game, the emotional manipulative game, the stalling game, the power play game, the elitist ASS BULLSHIT, and the FUCKING DRAMA!

As I sit here with my black mama disgust face, legs crossed, and my pretend class cup of wine shaking my head all I ask is be patient with me as I am with you.

ASE