IN THE MEANTIME

IN THE MEAN TIME IN THE BETWEEN TIME:

As this retrograde tore us to pieces it is bringing somethings to light that should've been highlighted in this healing journey. Sometimes we become so accustomed to the mundane that we end up in the same cycles unconscious to the decisions that have affected our now. For some of us this may rock the boots off your feet that it may leave you in emotional shambles. Forgetting where you come from, how far you have come, and how victorious you have been in triumphing your enemies and even yourself. For some of you this may even be a faith challenging time because of things that has been going on up until this moment. It seems like the breakthrough is right around the corner but the problems just won't seem to stop piling TF up.

Like honestly is it me, have I been the only one annoyed not with people but with the way time and things has been going. Now I know I have a lot of stressors in my day to day with the nouns who are aggravating and always doing stupid shit. But outside of them it seems like something great is happening but it is hidden is on the precipice of something that I can’t seem to put my finger on it. It has me distracted to the point where I have been pulling back things in my life and even my enemies that have been in my way. It’s like something is calling my name but I can't quite distinguish it. It isn't a dark source of anything but the unsurety of the unknown is a dangerous game to be playing at this time. Because at this big age if someone isn't being forthright and to the point, I really don’t have time for it.

This could be a part of my trust issues I used to have so spirit maybe illuminating them or I may have gotten up in age that my safe space is now become my comfort zone. Screams in agony because I have become a boring bitch and I know I'm letting the hoes down. It's not like I want to be out here in the hoeing contest but having to close yourself off from so many people is quite truly insane. It's like the world want us to be reliant upon technology so much that we forget we are human and we need human contact. I have seen so many people go through so many emotions that are not a part of who they are, where they are, or where they are going because they have been avoiding them to the point where they have been living in a projected reality.

I am starting to think that Libra season is showing us how we have made certain things fair in our life that haven't even been realistic. It's like the alternate reality we have existed in hasn’t been existing it is just an image that we have created in our mind and made it reality. So, the discomfort we have been feeling is us saying that hey I have conformed to a reality that hasn’t been beneficial to me. This could result in people leaving jobs, changing careers, switching the mask off, being more vulnerable, being honest, and basically stop trying to be trendy. It's like the false societal pressures that has kept us in binds is the same ones that has held our parents back from making the reality they want.

You know the whole I'm going to live my life through you, make decisions that is based upon their needs, and have you acting as if you like what it is that I do. I just feel that the veil has been dropped over many people eyes and they have been recognizing that they have been under the influence of another choices. Have you ever seen all the Kingsman's Gold with the crazy ass lady trying to keep everybody in a psychic loop. She was pretty fucked up in the head. It's like this massive spell work has been removed and people are starting to recognize that before they did what they did they hated who they were before. It's like someone had to trigger this emotional experience in them in order for them to get honest and say No, I don’t want to do this.

It’s like dying to be different but you end up recognizing that you end up just like everybody else. Which we all have our said groups and affiliations going on but some of us ended up in some places where we never should've been if I'm being honest. It isn’t about race, creed, color, height, shape, weight, or finances but we have made some wrong turns in this damn matrix collectively. Everybody can't be going through the same at the time, right? Now the awakening yes, but the same feelings of sorrow, grief, numbness, and hatred for life is quite uncanny to me. How the whole populations needs a shake up and to be internally guided onto their own paths, but you can't do it for them they only have to be willing to do it for themselves.

If we are being honest here, I think you guys are just getting the after effects of COVID-19 quarantine. That shit really did a number on us so don’t mind yourself if you feel like you want to go home and snuggle up in your favorite blanket for days while giving off depressed vibes, when in actual reality your fucking tired. It’s okay to kick it with your favorite friends, lovers, or indulge in your past time hobbies for an abnormal amount of time. It's like you scared of love. Because what it is I think we are craving is solace. Not to be understood but to feel safe, heard, and acknowledged without the pressure of figuring out what it is someone needs from you. Take a vacation, go on a road trip, go sun bathing, or smoke a victory blunt. It feels like this season is giving the awakening of the soul after surviving a horror story called life. WELCOME BACK!

CIAO