In The Mean Time
Girl, why am I sitting here about to write out this whole damn blog and the shit gone stop. Child, I had to get up and walk away because this energy y’all been in has been draining the hell out of me. The focus a bitch has been trying to have while being around a group of individuals who are in a need for constant drama is exhausting. It’s like how the hell can you solve a problem when you have so many people focused on the negative and wanting people to stay in chaos energy Before I got so rudely cut off it was a message that was coming across about someone being in a succubus energy and they were doing it in a coy sly way. They were trying to get individuals to drain all of their energy on the past that they wouldn't know they were being feasted on because of the drama they were keeping up. I said I don’t know what knew found fangle fuck of fuckery this is but I don’t want no dealings of this bullshit.
See that’s what some folks get for trying to fit in when they should be standing out. Got folks around here miserable and depressed because they like that fuckery they keep up. But that fuckery they keeping up draining off they damn life force because in order to be in misery you have to have something to cope with it and my child that is vices. They vice’s ain’t working any more so you just have people doing shit for no damn reason because they bored or stuck in a mind loop. Trying to get others to be a part of that shit. No, sir not me you got the wrong guys. Is it me or does it seems like this year is taking so long to close out I don’t know if it's because people ain’t doing what they supposed to do or we are all energetically tired? I seen a post that said y’all ain’t saying 2023 gone be your year is it because y’all scared. Bitch, he didn’t lie because I was like you damn right.
The way this cosmic design has been throwed off, people meeting people they never should've have met, and people doing shit they know damn well they wasn’t supposed to do is fucking up the damn world. People can’t even focus on the shit they need to focus on because people traumatized and slapping the label of spiritual on everything damn thing. Like God damn I feel like I need to go follow a bunch up Christian pages and see post telling me what they prophesizing over my life. Not, today love and light and never see dark. And don’t start with me y’all know I love Jesus slug foot ass but damn I need this nigga to get y’all call up the Devil and sort some shit out because these humans lying down here and ain’t doing they job. This shit getting out of hand how you got everybody trying to play a massive role in keeping people in darkness but then complaining about the light. I put in an old blog y’all need y’all da light rings took or something because y’all doing too much.
The world needs some form of balance meanwhile you got folks scared to take charge and get some shit in order because they don’t want to lose a friend to something. Child, you ain’t growing if you don’t lose something in life and I don’t mean that in a negative sense. I am talking about outgrowing people, places, things, and ideas. Sometimes it isn’t always harsh sometimes it’s because you simply have two different callings on your life. I am firm believer that what is for you will always be for you no matter how many people try to simplify it or extract it from you. Can we talk about that for a minute how we never know when to let go because we are so accustomed to having negative aspects attached to the reason of why we let someone or something go.
Child, it took me a long time to recognize this because I used to stay in environments to long, hang with people I should have been cut off, and absorb energy that simply wasn’t for me. All because they didn’t cause hurt or harm to me because all I knew was a life of pain. Child, I be cursing folks out left and right and content with being by my damn self because these excuses these people have had this year on the reason, they have tried me I wouldn’t even petition to my ancestor with that shit I have been told. Child, they’ll knock that shit smooth off my alter like girl stop playing in my face. And with disgrace I'll be scrapping and sweeping up candle wax off my floor as I laugh and cry with shame. Because they’ll be like girl you know damn well, they meant that shit as I giggle in the spirit realm because sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. Or laugh because some shit do be funny just not your funny.
As I sit back and watch and self-reflect on a lot of things as the year close out, I think to myself it was no reason for my year to go the way it did. And how the people who always have so much to say are always unhappy and why they always worried about everybody else? The chaos people brung in to people lives because they had joy and they were unhappy is quite inhumane. And I am not talking about the typical drama no I’m talking about rape, torture, false cults, false prophets, theft, stolen identity, pushing of drugs, and living in a false identity of you. If this isn’t the 80’s I don’t know what the hell to tell you. I have seen so many people who lost that high they got from being important because they exposed their true selves and sought out to find people who are genuinely happy with themselves and decided to destroy them. Like why?
They can’t even tell you the reasons of why they did what they did they just needed their fix like it was drug to emasculate and defeminize people as if we are not humans. Because for one crippling moment they thought maybe you’ll understand my pain. No, I ever chose to because you ever understood mines. I am not the healer who desires to give you empathy when it could’ve been given the first time around. See, I ain’t no wise crack unless you ask the right one, I am the one who is willing to fail forward even if it is ass backwards this is my journey not yours. The entitlement that wreaked from high society because of numbers game that I didn’t want to play. Not even giving me my fucking credit when its due but use my content for clicks likes and they starving artist thirsting scraps at a table. Because a nigga said no not right now or I like what I do.
Vilify me for something I had no part of but I am to care about their family, they loved ones, and peers as if I am not a mother my damn self. The joy my name rings from the happiness I bring to people's lives. The contentment people have from me listening without judgment. The safe space I have created emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and psychically for some that never had it. The professionalism I wield in areas I should not have because of my lack of affiliations people that I don’t have. This is the hard knocks of spirit of what you globalize and televise all across the globe and call spirituality or the new age Christianity. I am alleged fake, because I do not dare to prove myself to mankind out of ego only to be used and picked apart so you can find what you like about me. Baby, that’s what the internet is for it’s always somebody out there that feel like they can do my job better than me.
To have people secretly plot, plan, and try to destroy me because of their own unhappiness sometimes angers the shit out of me. Because what fool do I look like to teach a fool or to tell a fool that they are being one. That isn't my right because in the old ways they say to correct a fool is to teach him forever and I don’t like it when you consume to much of my time unwillingly and forcefully. When things start to become obligations without the check and it takes a toll on my mind, I have the option to quit because I am me. I don’t know who told these humans that but this year and last year a lot of people had me so fucked up. Sometimes I sit and think to myself do I want to be an evil Scorpio and plot my revenge silently or do you gracefully keep it moving because they wouldn’t even get it if karma was attached to it.
Sidenote I really need to get one of them tables people have when they be in the tub because I could so, type while I sit in water. Have y’all made water proof laptop yet or nah? I wrote all this to say is the energy lately you have been feeling is blah as hell? It's like the world don’t want nobody to be happy and experience that shit organically. It's like they want everything televised and recorded that you never have to time to just go be in your happiness. WTF MAN! I’LL BE ON LIVE LATER, TELL YOUR BABY DADYY TO CALL ME OR CASH APP ME. NOT MINES BUT YOURS THE ONE YOU AIN’T FUCKING NO MORE, TO CALL ME! AND MR. BOUGIE GET YOUR DAMN BABY MAMA AND GONE ON, Y’ALL STRESSING ME OUT. I NEED A BREAK!
P.S. I CAN HEAR YOUR HEART CRYING OUT FOR ME THAT WAS THE SONG IN MY HEAD
CIAO
