Well, I’ll go first for me its nonexistent, and the reason I say this is because I’m focused on getting my shit together. In a world where I only have to experience love from others more than myself, I guess I’m considered lonely and the lady with all the cats. Well technically it would be dogs not cats. I don’t have anything against them, but I just prefer a dog. Now, in world that’s so big and has so many humans in it! You tend to ask yourself why I ain’t got my soulmate yet? Yes, I wrote that sentence that way on purpose. One is because people crazy as HELL, that’s the one.
Nawl honestly, I don’t even know at this point I don’t even waste my time with dating because people are too consumed sex rather than getting to know someone. I ain’t celibate and trying to make someone wait for it but my inner child wants to have to fun. Nobody wants to be boring all the time its not saying that I want to be wild and free but damn there is thing called a healthy balance. On top of that the men I meet don’t be ready for love and a relationship so the fact that I don’t have attachment issues anymore it confuses them. I’m like it’s okay go be a hoe and live your wildest dreams. It just doesn’t mean that I’m always going to be emotionally available and that something they don’t understand.
Girl, they be wanting be to fight, argue, and make my fat ass chase them like they the girl. Nigga you were born with the penis not me cats don’t chase hun. Most men aren’t comfortable with that so sometimes I find them trying to bookmark me. Do you know how many things are in my Amazon cart that I shuffle around by playing bubble gum in a dish so I can see what’s getting purchased? Point being made its no guarantee that when you decide to stop being a man of the night that you’re going to come circling back to me. Have you not seen these games God be playing I’m about two minutes away from kidnapping an angel just so I can have some justice on this hell hole of an earth?
True story, I don’t say that to be mean, but we live in a day and age where people are so caught up on someone giving them a feeling that they rarely see how they make others feel. I’ll pass, baby ain’t nobody got time for that. It’s certain things that I won’t do but I’m comfortable enough with me not to judge you for what you like. But let me be over here chanting Saweetie, My Type like it’s a incantation to summon a rich nigga that’s gone splurge out on a bitch. It’ll have a nigga thinking I’m a gold-digging scumbag. How have you not seen this finesse of women securing the bag by liking niggas they really don’t? I’m not fina do that because I think its rude and unless you had a stalker you don’t want to play those games with people.
But that’s cool though right because we live in a world where it’s okay to be rude because it’s cute, play with a man or woman’s feelings because their emotionally wounded, and last but least let’s be toxic because being in a healthy emotionally stable relationship is lame right. I’ll pass again like when we real love be available, sighs? Sarcasm I love it, but no seriously that is a question I would like the answer too? Because every now and again social media gets to shaking the tables talking about what love is. Well just standards for men and women not knowing that love doesn’t care about your type.
I hate this whole what can you do to make me want you, b**** you are not a job. Newsflash nobody likes working they do it because they have bills, kids, and things they like to do. And plus, everybody don’t want to be no damn entrepreneur. Focus, Marshae focus. Now, people fail to recognize that the feelings have to be mutual before you decide to date or to start a relationship. These new boys and girls think that ish cute when it’s not. I’m very vocal about the things I need and want. That whole programming, where we have to pretend, we don’t need support and love is outdated. TO ME!
I’m over that whole strong black woman stereotype if a nigga want to love me out loud and I love him back I don’t care what the world thinks. Because they ain’t gone get the railing installed on the toilet for when I get old so I can get off the toilet. What they eat don’t make me s***, p***, or think. And I’m fine with that but until then I’m going to be walking through the flower field of tulips, daisy, and lily’s bouncing to beat of my own drum. I’m at place in my life where I don’t have time to be fighting for someone to love me, understand me, support me, learn me, and basically f***ing gets me. That’s tiring because every time you have to repeat yourself its take away from the times when you should speak.
It teaches you to lessen your voice and not to be heard until you are angry and full of resentment. Let’s just say all of them games people play now. I had a long stint of that in a relationship and after all that fighting and arguing it made it hard to find love in the person who caused me so much pain. I think the best thing I could’ve ever did was leave that relationship not saying I didn’t love him but whew, I had to choose to me. You don’t think I have run across men who chose them because I move too slow. I keep telling him I got too much meat on my thighs and it's better if he come get me instead of having me walk there. But no, he knows everything right.
All, I’m saying is do you. Love who you want to love but also make sure that you take a little of common sense with you. Because some of our guardian angels be eating snacks and shit so the times, they need to help you they be too busy consumed with other things that they forget to give you what it is you need. They mean well but at the same time it just teaches you to stand up for what you need and not self-sabotage everything in your life.