Healing your inner child can be a difficult process for some. I wrote in the soul letter and fairy tales do exist blog what did you need when you were a child. Because some people find themselves being the adults, they thought they needed to be and the individual who they needed the most doesn’t quite exist. For those that are not into such practices such as shadow work let’s just say you’re talking to a therapist and unpacking your learned behaviors.
WHAT WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD LIKE? WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO BECOME COMFORTABLE WITH THE PERSON YOU ARE TODAY: The ages of 3-13 is what we are unpacking.
Kids raising kids is what happened to a lot of adults. Now I’m not disrespecting your parenting style, or parents in this matter but a lot of things they didn’t know or fail to know. That it limited them in their human experience to raise kids so their way of living might not have been ideal for some. Does this give them a pass no, but it can help you? Childhood for some was a very rough experience, poverty, abandonment, rape, molestation, and peer pressure molded a lot of individuals into who they are now.
I used to say all the time a lot of adults don’t know how to be adults because the lifestyle their living now it comes from the lack, they had when they were a child. What do you fancy the most? Is it money, drugs, sex, people, love, or attention? That probably comes from the experiences you encountered when you were younger. Now a lot of adults don’t know how to play nice with other adults because like many they are still surviving instead of living. Psychology say a child mind is made up by five so whatever happen to you from that time being all the way up until preteen years it made you become the adult you are today.
I believe in the term it takes a village to raise a child and most adults fail at building villages and coexisting with other beings because we like the control and social construct, we get from having power over those that need us the most. The masculinity domino effect. As we look back on those times, we had seen how family was our greatest asset or we think because the elders took us in and supported us to their highest capacity. Raising us the best they could not knowing they were creating trauma bonds with their offspring’s and legacies.
Keeping in us a poverty mindset when it came to love because love is a universal cause and had different meaning to everyone.
So again, I ask what experiences that you hated as a child, and now cringe to as an adult, or what you try to gain control over as an adult your adult life. It’s easier to do inner child work when you have kids because the things you hated or didn’t care for you see your children do the same. Are you shame of the things you did or allowed in your life that’s why you try to harness their power by limiting their human experience?
Why does it bother you so much? Did you know the things you hide or share without healing them can still create a generational curse? Yes, because we think being adult is to bare all the pain, responsibility, and to keep everything in order. Newsflash we aren’t perfect. So, we think smothering our children and isolating ourselves is the cure for happiness when being alone in the dark still doesn’t sooth you. It’s like the darkness has over come you and the light only happens when you decide to step out and get the sunlight.
But you can change that but being an adult has you so comfortable with your routine that you don’t feel there is anything to change because you have buried things deep into the subconsciousness. The reality you have created for you and others has been this false illusion of what you wanted as a child. This is why people who are more prone to things such as materials, wealth, fame, social status, and leadership positions are never satisfied.
Because they always feel like they never doing enough they don’t know how to enjoy the fruits of their labor and relax an experience their sense of utopia. By they, I mean you if you’re doing any inner child work. And also, I hope your over the age of 18 reading this.
SO, LET’S GET INTO IT AND SEE WHAT THE DEALO!!
What did you lack as a child that you now crave for the most, but you don’t value it as you should? I see so many people who grew up in single parent homes desiring two parent homes and marriages only because they felt they needed this as a child. Majority of 80 babies and their offspring’s, don’t even know how to maintain a marriage, raise kids, and live and life of they own. Because the time you were being raised all they heard about was the pain their parents went through. It amazes me how moms get mad at their sons because him and the baby mama don’t get along and the whole time her and her baby father barely seen eye to eye.
But going back to the topic, it left a lot of kids in grown folks’ situations leaving us to be treated as adult when we were kids. This is why majority of kids who experienced poverty as a child crave success, power, and control because their parent lacked this, and it limited the from being the parent you needed the most. So, lets just say you needed protection from abuse as child and the person who was to save you didn’t know how to protect but to the eyes of someone else they were stable and you still were abused in that environment.
Would you trust anybody as an adult now? I mean I wouldn’t and I’m not enabling you because the adults you had seen as to be your support failed you and you know it. So, being vulnerable and sensible around other people is kind of hard for you because your plagued with judgment and fear. One because if you didn’t seek help well psychologically you brushed the pain off as normal after a while. This is why when people seek help for depression they stay depress because they are accustomed to the madness.
So, if we can change the physical things and the environment around us, we don’t have to live the experience out anymore. But what happens when you’re trying to fall in love, and someone wants to see the real you not the person you pretended to be. Nine times out of ten you’re either going to hurt them or push them away subconsciously. It’s like they will never be able to attach because if they get to deep into knowing you get scared and push it away. Because all that life you had when you were a kid was sucked up by a cruel world.
That love you seen on tv was written by writers with big imaginations, so you assumed that love was for you. That hope you had to be alive came from Divine and your connection from the Creator itself that hurt you experienced came from humans who preyed on your vulnerability as a child. So, you reconnecting with you is hard because the adult you now that don’t take no shit can’t go back and save that little boy/girl that needed help, which was you.
That’s why when something good happens out of the norm for you, you question it because others made you question yourself. This is why when you seek counsel you crave the most chaotic beings because if it doesn’t require pain, humiliation, chaos, or drama you avoid. And keep in mind it doesn’t have to be publicly it could the connections you have made with people privately. Because those people who you think won’t get you, they will they just don’t tolerate what you do to you and others so frequently.
TO BE CONTINUED………