Writing your inner child part two is taking me some time because honestly thinking about my life as I was 18-25 has been kind of hard. Not because I have hidden somethings from myself, but my last karmic contract was the worst so healing those parts of me had me facing the younger me. Talk about a whirlwind of emotions I had buried into journals and notes on my phone so self-reflecting was my best options.
I mean those where the years I thought I was very mature and grown as the old people say you still have breast milk on your tongue. And boy that is a true statement when your making moves in your life based off hurt you find yourself more hurt than ever. Because society has beat into our heads that when your grown you can do whatever you want to do without no remorse for anyone. Only to recognize it will always be a consequence for your actions.
So, before we get into the blog post I want you to get ready to jot down somethings things that can help you on your life journey. Especially if your trying to do any generational work, and healing for you to be able to experience inner happiness with your life.
As you recall we left off at the ages of 3-13 at that time you should have experienced memories or have reflected on things to give you a better understanding of your life at the time. I mean were you really honest? I said inner child work could be done before you have kids or after you had them. If your anything like I was detached from my emotions your child/children possibly went through things you experienced.
Making you either overly judgmental or more understanding to see your child experience hurt, embarrassment, pain, grief, trauma, or lost the same way you did. I mean honestly God has a dark sense of humor sometimes.
SO, LET’S GET INTO IT!!
WHO ARE YOU TO BECOME DURING THE AGES OF 18-25- THE PYSCHOLOGICAL EFFECT?
· Naturally like most young adults when we hit the age 18, we think we are prepared to be grown. Why because the environment we were in treated us like we were young adults, or you felt like you had to be grown because nobody else was the adult you needed them to be. You’ll be amazed at how many students who graduated from college with degrees in fields that they hate because they didn’t want to be at home because they couldn’t get to experience their youth. So, if you’re reading this and you’re over the age of 18 or at the mark of it what is it that you are doing with your life?
Are you sure about where you are, or did you honestly take the path that was/were best suited for you or did you choose something quickly because you wanted to escape? 18-25 is the pivotal years of your life that has the same equivalency to 3-13 because you’re a newbie in the adult world no matter if you have an old soul or not. Life is new to you because you were only allowed to experience it through the lens of an adult. So, being told, about marriage, bills, and negative things over time just enticed a young mind to do whatever the hell it wants because society didn’t care about you the way you wanted it too.
Leaving you to be lost and confused by life choices that was best for you. If you read the black family drama, then you know exactly what I was talking about regardless of your ethnicity. About how family keeps family members in suppressed environments. I mean honestly the people you think you don’t like in life that are new you just meet, nawl its some people in your family or early life experience that acted in a certain way that created a behavior for you to demonize others for shit you aren’t comfortable with.
I mean the human experience is tricky especially when your freshly grown. You see women treating other women like crap because they mirror and project the things that happen in their home. I don’t know one mother/ daughter relationship that has been great their entire life nope they had to grow into that, as the daughter/parent got older and started to experience life a little more.
WHAT WAS/IS YOUR CAREER PATH THAT YOU CHOOSEN?
· As I mentioned before there were plenty of people who graduated from college and choose career paths that they despise because of the rush to be adult or because they needed financial stability. I mean think about it what you were doing when you were 18 were you partying, pregnant, hustling, robbing, stealing, or stagnant? I mean for most of you, you either were graduating high school or trying to figure out how to survive without a high school diploma. I mean some of yall had real life problems that prevented you from becoming the person you needed until later in life. Which is perfectly fine because everything works in the time it supposes to.
So, at the age of 18-25 what was your view on money? Did you need it because your parents lacked, or they gave you the speech that it’s time for you to get a job because they didn’t want to take care of a grown person. Some people didn’t have these options because like I mentioned before everybody wants to be pregnant, but nobody wants to be a parent. So, if you had parents that treated parenthood like it’s a dead-end job. Whew being real about your emotional experience you have with them is the only way you’re going to get any type of healing. Now if you are a baby boomer it was quite normal but unfair for parents to prepare children to work especially the boys because women weren’t allowed jobs that provided stability.
Especially in the black culture because we were just piggy backing off of slavery and oppression and some ethnicities suffered as well while white supremacist was trying to take over the world. So, being mentally stabled and prepared for life was tough for some because some of the happy endings people wanted was to have kids, a husband, a wife and making it home alive was goal for some. So, you being raised at the time by parents who implicated rules and demanded respect like you were some slave took a toll on you.
Don’t lie, all you wanted was to a be kid, live life, and hang with friends only to be told everyday them folks ain’t your friends, you need a job, don’t have sex, or look out for you brother/sister. While hearing the same things over and over again like it was preparing you for the real, is the real reason you made a lot of mistake. You’ll be amazed at how many people feel like they should receive brownie points for being responsible while downing others who learned late or received things late because they were raised different. I mean we all can’t have the story of growing up poor the only thing that matter is we still bare the same emotional pain.
So, again I say what career path you have chosen because you never knew what dream you could accomplish. And nawl I ain’t talking about owning no business which is still dope but your dream could have been another career path where you could’ve been fulfilled in helping others and showing love the way, it’s needed.
TEENAGE PREGNANCY, KIDS, OR SIBLIBINGS
· In this day and age, it is quite normal to have a child early, someone would say it is irresponsible but hey shit happens. Teenage pregnancy was quite common back in the day because they made the men and women stick together only to find out that shit don’t work this day and age. I mean having a child is tricky and being a kid with a kid while facing adulthood is pretty tough. I mean just think about it all the single parents who rely on their oldest to watch their younger children are putting their kids through the things they went through.
So how did your parents having kids affect you having kids? Do you despise having them or you already had one by the age of 18 or older. I mean what is your relationship with kids and life. How do you view them and their place in society? The reason I ask is because the way you interact with kids is how you interact with your own inner child. Do you give children the room to be them or you feel like they need structure an order 24/7 leaving them to be under your control all the time?
Making it easier for them/you to be manipulated by people who are or in authority positions because they are so accustomed to thinking this is right. Or the latter, causing havoc in all relationships because they think being grown is being able to do what they want to do whenever.
Your teenage years to your twenties are valuable because this is where you are more prone to making more mistakes. This where the influence of others has been opposed on you or you trying to find your way. Kids and your view on kids necessarily has to do with you when you where a kid. So, if you were in the batch of people who had children at a young age how did it affect you? Did you lose friends? Did you feel you had to step it up while at the same time forgetting you?
Did you find yourself trying to be the parent your parent wasn’t only to recognize you made those same mistakes? This is very key question to ask yourself because a kid raising a kid can be challenging? How was the co-parenting relationship for you did you expect to be in love forever or have a family only to not get it? Where you financially stable? Because finances are important for adults and kids because, when you’re not financially stable it can be a stressor to raise a child while your broke.
Some people have the believe that having kids with a partner is the ideal way to family only to recognize that the only family you have is your child and not the other parent. Did you learn about sex? What was it like your first-time having sex? How do you view sex? Is it something that controls you or you control it? How you feel about contraceptives? Are you aware of the risk they may or may not work?
If you didn’t have children at a young age how where when you where younger. How did college, friends, relationships, health, and careers impact you? Did it shake you to the point where you feel you don’t need to add to society i.e. children? How did it scope your views on family? Did it make or break you to the point it cost you relationships? Did you spend your twenties trying to become an adult that you ended hating your reality? What is it that you feel/felt obligated to do?
2020 IS THE YEAR OF HARMONY, BALANCE, AND CONFLICT:
YOUR REALTIONSHIPS- FRIENDS, MARRIAGE, SHACKING, OR IDEALISM OF IT
· If you’re over the age of 25 you tend to look back in this quarantine energy and think about all the old friends and relationships, you used to have with people. You find yourself questioning was it worth it all those mistake and things you felt you’ve lost. If you’re in this age group I think you’re possible learning about those seasons. Even the leaves wither in the fall and the winter. It is the tree that is still standing.
So, because we’re in the year 2020 and experiencing this quarantine a lot of us are actually self-reflecting from a space of boredom or actually trying to figure some shit. So, this year’s meaning is to heal to yourself to be in alignment with who you are in life. Some of maybe struggling with while God is constantly hitting you with signs about your life and purpose. Now because Ideally, we are speaking on the past because some of us are older and now, we want love or are in already in it.
So, as you grow in love or out if it you’re hit with this wave of nostalgia and wanting to connect with people who you feel have a piece of the old you when it is in you. It is crazy to me how this generation of younger people are literally dying to be in a relationship. They are acting like the baby boomers if were being quite honest. I mean its funny how times change while at the same highlighting the past things we need to change to actually exude happiness.
Cause in my twenties I wasn’t looking for love it just happened to find me. I was focused on being a career girl because I had a child at an early age that I have to provide for. So, me hanging out in clubs and making up to break up with friends I thought was normal. Especially for women and adulthood because you’re not taught to compartmentalize certain relationships. And an old wise man said never mix your friends up only on special occasion like weddings and baby showers.
I mean it was hard being a mom while all my friends were kid free only for the roles to be reversed because he’s 13 and they have younger children now. Who knew that would happen? But before I decided to do inner child work, I found myself in the company and the arms of old woes, lovers, and friends. Because in your twenties you’re young so full life and fresh eyes you look at life as if you have no care for tomorrow.
Even if you are struggling college student, in poverty, a single mom, wife/husband, or boyfriend/girlfriend all that shit matters. It truly does but the fact that we don’t appreciate our twenties because were dying to be grown we end up making some of the most valuable mistakes that end up costing us our future or almost it. For some they were incarcerated at early ages and didn’t truly get to experience life and depending on the gender it might have been a challenging period.
I mean the standards society place on men to have a car, house, a million dollars, and wanting to be married by 21 is fucking impossible. At the same for women to know how to be a mom, work a job, go to school, stay in shape, and be a counselor to all. I mean society really didn’t prepare us for a lot of emotional shit. I think the reason this generation of young adults and we ended procreating so many times and being abused by love is because we needed that. But we weren’t taught how to get from ourselves unless we had money or being a do-gooder.
You don’t know the countless of days I found myself in the arms of people who weren’t so nurturing thinking they would sooth my pain and value my existence because I didn’t know how to do it myself. I was young and mature but dumb emotionally because that isn’t something we install in children. Our parents didn’t speak light over us and train us how powerful the mind was outside of books and staying out of the way.
We weren’t taught in order to be the best parent we want to be we have to be the best for ourselves. And the only way we can do that is if we get honest wit us. In family styles we don’t speak truths because your truths upset the grown folks but it’s your hurt you carry inside. That’s why the street is always so enticing because it doesn’t love nobody but it’s always somebody out there for you.
And when I says streets I mean, sex, drugs, social media, boys, girls, depression, anxiety, fake love, children, raping, robbing, killing, and lack of faith. That’s the shit that wasn’t taught to you in your in twenties because we were so busy trying to break free from control only to end up being controlled by someone else narrative.
And to be grown is to a work a job or get your own and suppress emotions and wonder why somebody don’t except your real. It’s not that your fake or their fake it’s just you don’t know your authenticity level yet. So, the shit you do now you think it is okay because that was the time you tasted adulthood and some what liked. You got to tweak your chaos level for you to only end up hating it. I told yall inner child work always shows up when you’re expecting a child or falling in love with someone.
Because to fall in love is a power exchange where light and dark meshes together and illuminates the things in the dark. So instead of running this year we facing it head on and praising our ancestors for path they’ve walked while creating our own.
UNTIL NEXT TIME!