Healing Your Inner Child Part 4.2
The Paradigm Shift:
I think we are well aware and knowledgeable of what the inner child is and how valuable it is? In a few posts ago I wrote about how important our inner child was and that the most impactful age was from 13-18 to me.
Now you know your journey better than me so whatever year of your adult life that took the most hits and made you stop believing in you would be the most valuable to you. The other post I wrote was about being more acknowledgeable and breaking patterns in how we as adults can be stunted in our childlike energy.
Hell, you can add in the black family drama to because your family can break your faith in you before you even get a chance to. People sometimes forget how powerful the nouns are in our journey and those are the people, places, things, and ideas. That sometimes it keeps us in a strong hold from changing the way we think, speak, and act for ourselves. For those of us that are black we seldomly experience a since of freedom in life because we have been taught what we are to become instead of becoming what it is we need.
You can see the transition into the new style of parenting that has the black community in a stronghold where some people opt out of beating their children. Now I do believe that some kids need that ass knocked off because baby they be bad ass hell. But in the words of my grandma they ain’t bad they just active you ask me some of these kids be overly active. Now for some they implemented in way of communication styles to talking to their kids because we rarely had that. I love the whole new era of if my child is uncomfortable, they don’t have to hug or connect with you even if you family.
Because sometimes some of our skin folk I mean kinfolk don’t mean our babies and youth no good. But again, kids only mirror the experiences they are around, and we rarely stop to ask ourselves why are they doing this? Am I good influence on them or am I being the influence I needed when I was child because the older they get and develop into the person they need to be that patience starts to get a little thinner. But enough of that lets get into this blog post
THE PARADIGM SHIFT:
Self-awareness, self-diagnosis, and self-sabotage will only get you so far when you don’t have the help you need in this journey to help you on your road to discovery. A lot of the times we know our problems so well that we rarely take into account anybody else’s opinion on a matter because we fear being judged.
And when we have people around us who are negative or have a negative thought process on our change it can limit you in your growth. Now if you where to answer one question I would ask you what was it like for you when you were at the age of 13- 18? What was your home life like? What was your swag like? What was your parent’s finances like? Where did you attend school? What was your school life like? These are very important questions to ask yourself as you journal more.
How did puberty affect the way you see yourself? Are there any parts of you that you feel is still there? Does speaking, journaling, and communicating about it makes you uncomfortable? What was your sexuality like? Did you have outside influences encouraging you to go down certain paths? Is there still a since of lack in you that is still yearning to prove to your younger self the things you couldn’t do when you were those ages.
I say all the time that from the ages of 1-18 it isn’t your fault, but after the age of 18 it is on you to fix the wrong that has happen to you in your life. I know for some that may or may not be easy because in this day and age where we highlight all the pain that is bestowed upon us, by others that they are the ones that is suppose to come fix it. That it leaves many of us in shambles by the hands of others because in most cases we rarely get an apology for the pain we have experienced in life.
Ex: Let’s just say you grew up in a household where your sexuality defined who you were as a person. That by the age of 15 you were you supposed to be ingulfed into vagina because it defined who you were as a man. That by the time you were supposed to be graduating all you could think about was having sex and being grown that you skipped many stages of your evolution. Because if you are over the age of 35, having sex at a young age was a like nigga walking around with a bankroll.
That you being validated by men was way more important than being more in-tune with your needs of life at the time. It’s like you transformed into your parents. While they were busy living, trying to come up with means to survive, or running out on problems because life was serious for them. They failed you in areas as well you have failed yourself because a child only mocks what it knows. That by the time you became old enough to make decisions you made decisions based off of the things your parents didn’t do or didn’t tell you, that it landed you in some pretty tricky situations.
Let me tell you something the hardest part I had on this journey was rewiring my brain and let me tell you that shit ain’t for the faint of the hard. Because the brain is the most powerful thing on the body and just because we do different don’t mean that its always going to stick. I had to learn how to talk to myself and teach others how they speak to me as well. I had to learn how to communicate and be open for the love that I was willing to receive. Whether it be in an interpersonal relationship, platonic relationships, family relationships, or business relationships.
That by the time I got done acknowledging who I was and my worth child, I didn’t know if I was comfortable with the beast I had created. It took me along time to realized that I was the author of my story and how valuable it was too write off certain people out my book instead of just closing it. Because when we walk away from something that we were so interested in we tend to circle back out of boredom and are quickly reminded of those emotions.