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Healing Your Inner Child Part 4.2

The Paradigm Shift:

I think we are well aware and knowledgeable of what the inner child is and how valuable it is? In a few posts ago I wrote about how important our inner child was and that the most impactful age was from 13-18 to me.

Now you know your journey better than me so whatever year of your adult life that took the most hits and made you stop believing in you would be the most valuable to you. The other post I wrote was about being more acknowledgeable and breaking patterns in how we as adults can be stunted in our childlike energy.

Hell, you can add in the black family drama to because your family can break your faith in you before you even get a chance to. People sometimes forget how powerful the nouns are in our journey and those are the people, places, things, and ideas. That sometimes it keeps us in a strong hold from changing the way we think, speak, and act for ourselves. For those of us that are black we seldomly experience a since of freedom in life because we have been taught what we are to become instead of becoming what it is we need.

You can see the transition into the new style of parenting that has the black community in a stronghold where some people opt out of beating their children. Now I do believe that some kids need that ass knocked off because baby they be bad ass hell. But in the words of my grandma they ain’t bad they just active you ask me some of these kids be overly active. Now for some they implemented in way of communication styles to talking to their kids because we rarely had that. I love the whole new era of if my child is uncomfortable, they don’t have to hug or connect with you even if you family.

Because sometimes some of our skin folk I mean kinfolk don’t mean our babies and youth no good. But again, kids only mirror the experiences they are around, and we rarely stop to ask ourselves why are they doing this? Am I good influence on them or am I being the influence I needed when I was child because the older they get and develop into the person they need to be that patience starts to get a little thinner. But enough of that lets get into this blog post


Self-awareness, self-diagnosis, and self-sabotage will only get you so far when you don’t have the help you need in this journey to help you on your road to discovery. A lot of the times we know our problems so well that we rarely take into account anybody else’s opinion on a matter because we fear being judged.

And when we have people around us who are negative or have a negative thought process on our change it can limit you in your growth. Now if you where to answer one question I would ask you what was it like for you when you were at the age of 13- 18? What was your home life like? What was your swag like? What was your parent’s finances like? Where did you attend school? What was your school life like? These are very important questions to ask yourself as you journal more.

How did puberty affect the way you see yourself? Are there any parts of you that you feel is still there? Does speaking, journaling, and communicating about it makes you uncomfortable? What was your sexuality like? Did you have outside influences encouraging you to go down certain paths? Is there still a since of lack in you that is still yearning to prove to your younger self the things you couldn’t do when you were those ages.

I say all the time that from the ages of 1-18 it isn’t your fault, but after the age of 18 it is on you to fix the wrong that has happen to you in your life. I know for some that may or may not be easy because in this day and age where we highlight all the pain that is bestowed upon us, by others that they are the ones that is suppose to come fix it. That it leaves many of us in shambles by the hands of others because in most cases we rarely get an apology for the pain we have experienced in life.

Ex: Let’s just say you grew up in a household where your sexuality defined who you were as a person. That by the age of 15 you were you supposed to be ingulfed into vagina because it defined who you were as a man. That by the time you were supposed to be graduating all you could think about was having sex and being grown that you skipped many stages of your evolution. Because if you are over the age of 35, having sex at a young age was a like nigga walking around with a bankroll.

That you being validated by men was way more important than being more in-tune with your needs of life at the time. It’s like you transformed into your parents. While they were busy living, trying to come up with means to survive, or running out on problems because life was serious for them. They failed you in areas as well you have failed yourself because a child only mocks what it knows. That by the time you became old enough to make decisions you made decisions based off of the things your parents didn’t do or didn’t tell you, that it landed you in some pretty tricky situations.

Let me tell you something the hardest part I had on this journey was rewiring my brain and let me tell you that shit ain’t for the faint of the hard. Because the brain is the most powerful thing on the body and just because we do different don’t mean that its always going to stick. I had to learn how to talk to myself and teach others how they speak to me as well. I had to learn how to communicate and be open for the love that I was willing to receive. Whether it be in an interpersonal relationship, platonic relationships, family relationships, or business relationships.

That by the time I got done acknowledging who I was and my worth child, I didn’t know if I was comfortable with the beast I had created. It took me along time to realized that I was the author of my story and how valuable it was too write off certain people out my book instead of just closing it. Because when we walk away from something that we were so interested in we tend to circle back out of boredom and are quickly reminded of those emotions.

And baby she got tired of holding on to the things that no longer served her because I knew that pain so well that I started to annoy me. So, I started to create methods that I thought were valuable enough for me and decided to share them with the world.

The affirmation didn’t help me because I felt like it wasn’t realistic enough, so I decided to see how I could reach those affirmations within myself. Because we always say what it is we want but we never try to become the things we need.

When I finally realized that everything, I was told was a lie it was the best thing that could’ve ever happen to me. And when I say lie, I’m talking about those things people say about you, the things we tell ourselves that will make us feel better when it doesn’t, and those relationships I vowed to be in as an act of self-mutilation because I felt this is love.

Just a imagine you getting the Ace of Swords as your guide in your life and everything you trying to hold on to rips into pieces because it’s not supposed to be there. And the more you cling to something God is looking at your ass like when the hell is, they going to stop. But as us being humans we have to realize we are mistake prone it’s just when we decided to keep doing the same things that we fail to recognize it isn’t a mistake.

Things To Know When Your Are Shifting In Your Existence

1. Everybody isn’t going to understand what you’re going through and its okay to feel vulnerable but don’t allow your own vulnerability to make you forget that you are shedding parts of yourself. Your awakening of self isn’t everybody else’s job to get baby it’s yours when you learn those firm boundaries, morals, and new confidence all that other stuff ain’t gone matter. I mean it will, but you’ll be able to handle it a little better.

2. Just because you are trying to change you and be the best version of yourself doesn’t mean you aren’t going to experience any form of pain. Whether it be emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually. You are just now going through process of awareness it’s like finally being alive and being able to feel again. That can be a lot for some to handle that they end up going back down the same path that broke them.

3. Everybody ain’t gone like the new you because its you they are trying to get to know all over again. It’s tricky because we can feel like we know someone so well and that they can do something different in a matter of a second that can make us change how we view them. You’re not going to be able to change overnight, baby that’s men that be trying to do that. Child, they learn how to do something in one day and now he’s a professional. Girl if you don’t sit down.

4. Last but not least doing what you say and not doing what you don’t say. A lot of the times we don’t hold ourselves accountable because we rarely can process our emotions. How you gone change when you still got so much going in your life that still weighing you down. You got to lighten up your load so you can tend to you. Whether you start small or big you have to start somewhere. I say all the time don’t work when you’re tired, you work when you don’t too. Because you are teaching your body to respond to you.

Humans rarely know their body until something starts to hurt and has some residual affect. When you are telling yourself things you also have to be mindful of the things you are doing. This is why déjà vu rings so hard for certain people because they’ll do something in the time, they’ll supposed to be doing something else. Your brain is trying to tell you something, but your body is doing the complete opposite. Take it from a nigga who almost got diagnose with ADHD at a young age. Child, I be on pause and go on most days, but I get shit done though.

Hell, I just can process a lot at one time, but I can’t do it if you trying to tell me while I’m doing it. I’m a visual learner so that’s my technique, and another thing to learn is your learning style because that can help you adapt to the change you are trying to bring in your life. You can try all the methods you want in this lifetime, but if you don’t know you’re learning style everything you try isn’t going to work.

What parts of the story you leave out when your are talking about your life from when you where younger?


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