As we navigate this healing journey you have people trying to call back the broken fragmented pieces of their soul. The things life and people took from the whether it was physical abuse, spiritual abuse, mental abuse, or emotional abuse. Abuse is still abuse because it is when an targeted individual seeks out someone who is capable of being subdued by another person’s will. Now I just got to say this topic is going to get real and I don’t want no one taking this away as harmful.
In the black community we have this way of keeping abuse private and not mentioning our pain. We have found ways to navigate through our pain whether it be drugs, sex, and other outlets to keep our minds so busy that we rarely stop and sit with ourselves. And we know everybody says we blame everything on slavery, but slavery really messed up the black community. Because it left us living out the Europeans standards of life.
We do this to our own we take, we break, and strip them of their dignity because we haven’t learned what is true honor. Because we have yet to break the psychological strong hold of what slavery has did to us outside of prejudice, racism, and systematic oppression. There are many things we have kept tight to us and live out to this day and age.
For one the topic of rape in the black community is an issue that is never seen to be taking seriously until someone of a lighter hue which is white to be offended by a predatory ass individual. Prostitution is looked down upon but is glorified when a woman is beautiful, has a nice body, and is the all-around sex appeal. But we don’t go back and think about how prostitution got started about.
In the olden times slave masters used to rape and sell women to other owners. The women would only be judged by what they can do for a man and the unwillingness of to have sex with turned him on because he had some power over them. I mean slave masters had the key to other people freedom so many black women and men allowed certain things to happen to see another day. Not knowing that the things they suppressed would arise again in the heritage of our own.
Causes us to be the ones who raised rapist and abusers in our family and wonder why this happened. Again, we don’t say nothing we act as if this is okay and keep it a family secret instead of persecution the one who did it. I tell you the black family is something else as long as other people don’t know their business its all good to pretend it never happened. But what happens when the bloodline becomes tainted with those same predatory traits and your child is a victim of abuse or the abuser. What do you do you disown them or keep their mess a secret because of your pride?
Now I do believe in asking the victim is it okay to tell their story because if they haven’t healed, you’ll find yourself reopening old wounds and hurting them all over again. I mean we rarely see it that way because we just wont justice and we rarely stop to care about the victim needs. I mean we look at them as fragile people when they really are strong because to endure so much pain and to continue to keep living you have to be one strong mother trucker.
But do they ever get to see it that way no because you have so many people judging them for their pain or people telling them what it is, they should do without finding an actual solution. That most people end up killing themselves or trying to find another way out of life because to them life is never created for them.
I am firm believer that each day we wake up we have a chance to create life whether it be impactful on another human being or not. But I digress though because its hard mourning parts of you while also trying to heal those parts of you that once took so much out of you.
No one wakes up and say today I wanted to abused hell even a sadist, masochist, and a submissive have their limits. But what happens when we don’t know our own limits. I seen a post of a lady saying she doesn’t ask her daughter to hug people she don’t want to and to be comfortable in areas she is not. Because that’s her right but she also talks to her about how she can come to a better conclusion on how she can emotionally expresses herself.
I said well I be damned because in the black community we are taught to speak like we are still slaves, dress a certain way, and talk a certain away. Black parents are basically raising their kids to be slaves. And no, I’m not talking about for as working 9-5 and going to college to live out the African American negro dream. I am talking about how we kill off our ability to fight. I am firm believer that children know things that we don’t and when they don’t have a safe environment from the ground up, they will eventually settle, suppress, or become destructive to the things around them.
Its funny how we judge our daughters for being in relationship with abusive men when our mothers put up with it. Or our grandfathers and fathers were the abusers in some point of a lifetime. I mean just think about if your black and you tell your parents how they got you fucked up in nice way you’re basically talking back. To them that is respect but to me that is slavery. I broke my bond with my slave master i.e., my parents years ago when I found myself in the bottom of the barrel of life.
I said I do a good job at ruining me I don’t need no outside influencers; hey Scorpios are good at self-sabotaging. It’s something we have learned over time it can change when we decide to grow up. For me I had enough because like many I had endured so much pain from the outside world but the first pain I knew was in my home. When I didn’t live out their dreams, get the job they wanted, and be the shining star they thought I was supposed to be. The emotionally expressing myself and talking back that equated to as disrespect put me in the barrel of being the black sheep. Would look out now boss that black sheep is teaching the world some thangs.
My pain brung me to places I can’t even explain from the ethereal world and into this matrix. Followed by ancestors finally flying in and saying look you ain’t tried of hurting you. And honestly, I was but being a damaged little girl emotionally wounded seeking solace in the arms of life left me more and more disassociating with it. Somedays I am alien and the other days I just exist with the humans. If you know you know. Humans never cease to amaze while at the same time they keep me in shock.
BUT ENOUGH OF THIS LET GET INTO THIS BREAKDOWN. FAT MAMA GOT TIME TO DAY.
UNDERAGE DATING AND STATUTORY RAPE-
For those of that are in the black community we know this one to well. This stems from our ancestors being with older men who came off as father figure to protect them only to abuse them over time. You know the men that say I just don’t get older woman because he its so immature or can’t control them. I heard pimp say he gets his hoes young because they are easily to influence the older ones you have to break them. What type of shit is that? If she is consensually with selling ass there is no need to be breaking someone.
But men thinking like their European daddies and seeing their slave masters do this for years they think for them it is okay and have the nerve to get on they platform and talk about the white man. Girl disgusting, I tell you. Because black people have this way of trying to justify, they fucked up ways with saying they helping somebody. Child, them slave master did to when they went over there and offered up some money and gave us a pinky promise saying they was going to do right by us.
And you niggas do it to get a little money, or seeing women as the abundant creatures they are then try to take, steal, and rob them of it. Because that’s the only time when men and women should stick together when a man is in struggle and needs someone. Hell, women do it to sell and pimp out their daughter for drugs, bags, clothes, and money.
You know the woman who tell you to stay with him because he got money so he can provide for you and your mama. You about one pill away from a nervous breakdown because of a lifestyle.
Then somehow, they wonder why they in court and she is taking half of everything because he literally had to find himself while she was stuck in emotional turmoil. Focus Marshae, focus.
Now statutory rape is when the victim is under the age of 18 and the assailant is over the age of 18 now, I’m not talking about your daughter or son dating someone and they are 16 going on 17 dating and dating a 19-year-old. No, I’m talking about you being 15 and this nigga almost thirty. My baby daddy is almost 50. That ought to tell you something how messed up the black community is.
Chile, I ain’t got no shame because my grandma always liked older men, but those was the ones who took advantage of her. And left her emotionally wounded and to raise a generation of broken little girls who had babies by the age of 13 and up. Whether they terminated the pregnancies or kept it she dented the hell out of us.
But in the black community we rarely see this as an issue because we be too busy living our lives and calling little girls fast. And saying they have daddy issue when we rarely are taught that we are beautiful or given compliments from our mothers. Leaving us to be emotionally build up by men. Now me I hate flattery so that wasn’t my issue. But many women fall in the arms of a man due to the lack of love they receive at home. Single parents always worried about what the other parent doing and not what they are doing.
Even in a two-parent home misogynistic traits, gender roles, and defeminization still goes on till this day. While I was going through my wounds from my relationship with my child father no one ever stopped to see why he was factor at the time. See parents just jump on the age and start condemning you and judging you and trying to put restrictions on you. That they fail to recognize why you did or attracted to things you are and do.
Because they always say you trying to be grown no, maybe that person lets them live out something that you maybe suppress. Parents have a way of killing off the light in their child because their elder’s did it to them.
Now the predatory men. Child don’t get me started on them how they only love to be in relationships with underage girls/boys is truly disgusting. I truly believe they are living out some sick kink that happened to them and trying to relive their traumas. I mean think about it the bully only goes after the ones who are influenced and can be easily intimated. They never go after the threat because they only like to be it.
They be so focused on what they want that they rarely stop and see how they affect us. Because most of the times the people around them are so used to the injustice that the one who speaks out is now a problem. Have your not heard of Stockholm syndrome. It is when a person who is used to bad behavior that anything that is alarming outside of the injustice, they perceive they will not react.
Have you ever seen someone abused and when you get them to talk about it, they go into this shell shock experience? It’s like a piece of them is still left inside that person. Because like many that don’t speak up or are still in cahoots with their abuser or abusers they feel you should just shut up and emotionally adjust. They don’t perceive your pain as pain even though they endured the same thing it is the fear that keeps them entrapped in that place.
Your emotional outrage is what becomes the problem because you are the problem and not their reality. They know what happen to them they just don’t like to be reminded. Because us humans have a way of compartmentalizing our pain and pushing it in the back of our minds instead of our fronts.
I think we should have more open honest conversation with our children and see how we emotionally, mentally, and psychologically handicap them. Because when we learn our faults, that we have with our children. Our children can learn to have the freedom to know to do the right thing. Growing up a little girl with strict parents only led me down a dark path and a heap of hurt that came with discovering my own decisions. In life where some of things I was taught was right but emotionally and physically they were wrong.
Parents do the work, so your children won’t have too.