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Happily Ever After

Happily ever after is something were all looking for. You know to be problem free and live life enjoyably. It's to be in a euphoric type state of mind bill free, problem free, and burden free. It's time consuming to start getting your life together and it's time consuming avoiding the inevitable. When I was a kid all I wanted was my own space and money. Nobody told me that life comes at you fast and you have to work jobs you hate and be around people who gets on your nerves 24/7. I wasn't taught how to control my own space, meaning my mind, my thoughts, and emotions. So, functioning in life was pretty hard for me because when I hit 18 all I wanted was to do was what grown people do. Party, drink, smoke, hang out, but what happens when you don't know how to cut the party off.

Cutting the party off is hard for some people because those people who are always down to do reckless things are always available. When your so focused on finding ways to avoid yourself it's easy to get caught up in a problem. Because anything that hurts that isn't the actual problem is a way to escape from the pain your feeling at the moment. So, you ask how did we get here? Chile, I don't know. Honestly, I wanted to say happily ever afters are real, but only when it's made on your own terms. Being a child raised in America with plenty of televised shows you always get chance to see people overcome the most craziest things. You see the villains gets the treatment we think they deserve. Times has changed and social media has now become the author of our life's. We see people living their life or the life we think we want, but we never stop to ask what is that they go through.

So, we set online and devalue ourselves because we don't have latest and fliest gadgets. The biggest asses, the perkier boobs, or the large following count that we forget about the people we can impact on day to day basis outside of social media. Social media can be damaging at times the negative comments, click baits, and the think pieces can take a toll on you if your in sore space. If it wasn't for me going through a spiritual awakening I wouldn't have ever seen the things I see now. During those times I was forced to level up and care about me a little bit more. For me to see I was making the same mistakes that I used too wonder why somebody else was making. Reality came crashing down pretty fast and forced me to see me for who I was not and what I could be. In the trying those I started to write and create the things I needed for me. You know how Cinderella got her prince, Snow White got her kiss. Well child I wanted peace, freedom, to be unburdened, and to not make the mistakes my parents made.

I sat down got focused and recognized that the life I was living was leading me towards my destruction. I wasn't happy, but at the same time I wasn't sad. I knew things had to be done, but I just kept procrastinating because doing soul work is lame, honoring your emotions is weird, cutting out friends is unloyal, and recognizing that things will never be same with family is real. So, why change when I knew things would be different between me and some people? Because I got tired of lying of to myself about my existence in peoples lives and also hurting myself by thinking one day this shit gone change. See no matter what you believe in a God or not they only give what you need as humans we take what we want and then complain about it to a deity an want them to change it. It doesn't work like. The old scripture faith without work is dead. Most people believe if I pray enough or say it enough then it magically appear.

Well it doesn't work like that. When I found myself caught up in this project that I'm going through hell to get out of I used to say " God didn't get me in this mess, God just trying find his way through it"! Everybody use to tell to me it's gone be okay pray about it! Ignore him! He'll go away. It didn't work like that Divine tested my faith by showing me those whom I needed to break free from for my sanity. Those things I used to burden God with I could've changed myself I just wanted to give God the credit for something I needed to do. You know when you're a kid and you tell your friends you can't outside because your mama said so that's what I was trying to do. When I found myself alone an felt like I didn't have nobody to turn to is when I had to put my big girl underwear on and get things done. My happily ever after maybe a little slow, but I'm just a few chapters in. When you're going to start to rewrite your destiny?

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