From Boys To Men
Okay so earlier this week I said I was going to write a blog post about men being more emotionally weak that it cripples them psychologically. Now people who have sons and if you have raised sons hold your mule before you get all mama bear on me. Because women sometimes tend to underestimate their ability in raising their sons. Just like they say sons need their fathers they actually need their mothers too.
The only reason this came about for me was seeing how men play with women feelings to get the things they want, baby they had to learn that from somewhere. And don’t say he didn’t get it from you because if he didn’t his father learned it from his mother. In a blog post I wrote a while back I said that shouldn’t no child be around they mama all the time them kids need to get away from them. Especially when the parent is a single parent who is emotionally unstable and when I say unstable that is not equated to mental illnesses. This goes for y’all two parent household situation too.
When I talk about someone who is emotionally mature I mean someone who has mastered their emotions on how they handle things, it’s not like they always going through then seven seasons. Hell, all your baby mama be wanting from you is to just come pick them kids up and drop them back off a little later. But the fact that piss poor communication is a factor, still harboring who cheated on you, and the lack of boundaries in y’all have in your relationship surely does kill me. Talking about they want what’s best for the child, but the child still seems to be lacking in life.
Don’t get me started just let me do my thang over here. A couple of years ago we did the Men’s year it is where we talked about experiences we have had with men and the effect they have on us. We talked about how they perceive us as women no matter your sexuality and how gender roles and hyper masculinity and femininity was at play. Don’t ask me to do it again because I’ll rather bath a wild cat than to do that.
It wasn’t bad I wasn’t male bashing at least not all the time, but it was pretty insightful. Because the whole take away was to see that you are more than money, dick, stability, and manly man.
As the number two’s scroll its ass on by walking like the bad b**** she is its got people thinking about relationships. I don’t know if it COVID or divine playing treats on us or some people are seriously looking for more out of life. At some point halfway through this post you are looking for some type of commitment, arrangement, or love in life. If not welcome to the DARK SIDE BABY! COLD HEARTED SINGLES THAT STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE LET’S HUDDLE UP! IT’S OUR TIME TO SHINE.
A lot of women who are in relationships and that are looking for love struggle with opening up about their past because they fear being judged, rejected, and deemed unlovable by men due to shattering their narrative they have of the woman they are today. A lot of men fail to recognize that half of the problems that go in their relationships, marriage, or arrangements is because they lack emotional intelligence. Nobody didn’t say that you didn’t have empathy, but emotional maturity is whole anther ballpark.
The way society has put men on pedestal thinking that they are Gods greatest gift to earth and that women are second and have no power is downright crazy to me. Have you not seen a two females fall out or the envy that resides in them to get them to do some foul s***. Baby ain’t sh** about that weak. It’s ruthless and disgusting.
And all these girl bosses that’s making money, buying cars, houses, business, and screwing themselves ought to tell you something I said the number two ears was gone be a whole bunch of revealing going on. And that it was going to be a time to have more compassion, strength, integrity, and understanding to call in your other half. This is more than doing the work.
FROM BOYS TO MEN
Boys are deemed more acceptable to BIRTH than it is to have a girl because with men there is power, and women is foreseen to be weak. From the time a boy is made his first love is his mother. The ways she showers him with or without affection. The way she builds him up and encourages him through strife. Her communication is identifying his way of understanding life. Keep in mind children are our future not your future, because they embody so much of the world other than you. Due to most young black males, or men in general growing up in homes without healthy father figures.
They are left to become the man of the house or the male that provides stability for his mom. To protect, honor, and serve. But why is a little boy granted so much power when he doesn’t know who he is? This is the problem that plaques society when we have men who lead with money, sex, and toxicity because he thinks this is power. But he lacks an emotional depth that stops him from being fulfilled in anything except cars, jewelry, sex, and money.
This is why your son or the men in your family don’t honor tradition or making their own tradition of love, procreation properly, marriage, and effective leadership. Why is that boy who desperately wants to be a man failing so bad. It is because of love. It is because men are denied love but frequently giving praise while are daughters are taught, they are deserving of this fairy tale reality. Unable to find their worth other than a man or kids as well as a man who seeks joy in the demise of his health by working to accomplish nothing.
If love was created from the foundation, then our sons would honor that when he sees it in others because he sees it in himself. We always blame the men for being like their fathers, but we never seen why we were attracted to their fathers. How we identified our way of love. The things that bothers me in the black community is how the son is granted access to being the king of the family at two in the mother’s life single or not. While he hasn’t worked for nothing.
He hasn’t learned what self-defiance is, self-love, self-sabotaging, mastering the flesh, or what it means to take care of himself. Men haven’t learned to identify his own needs before he goes off and tries to create this reality with anyone else. Why is that men always think that love is outside of them and while women think love is only inside of them until they receive emotional approval from some else. You know the terms such as; I’m getting old, I think its time for me to settle down, or I don’t want to be lonely. Like the question never plagued your mind before.
If you could sit down with the opposite sex and hear their story would you, without any judgment. Would it destroy your reality that you have of men or women? Would it place you in the mindframe to project other than protect the woman that is in front of you? Or is your mother the only person that is worthy of that love. No love is greater than that, I guess.
Most men who grow up without the proper nourishment for the soul wreak havoc on women. Destroying their bodies, mind, and spirit in the process until he finds who he is. And there is always a price that is paid sometimes I feel like the pain we don’t honor is giving back to us in a debt by our children. In the words of me you don’t get to skip out on the work when you have kids.
See most people say I don’t want my kids inheriting debt, but what about your spiritual debt. The ones from past lives, ancestral curses, wounding from your childhood, and adulthood. What about it? This is a deep heavy energy in the men because they fail to do the work. Because women are identified as to be the safe keeper. The storage of your burdens, the fixer to your pain, and the remedy to your wounds.
That most women don’t even identify in them when they are doing it and complaining about your weaknesses. When she keeps you that way? The inability to let you spread your wings and soar into you. Why because society has taught a woman that for so long you are nothing if you have nothing to take care of. I mean look at the fact that if a woman doesn’t have kids by a certain age, she is deemed a certain a way. Because where is her physical life, she created instead of judging her by her fruits she bares.
The people she interacts with, the loves she gives but never receives back, and the time she takes to care about things that don’t care about her.
My child that is love itself. But I think we gone break this down in increments so we can get the ball rolling. Because one of my spirit guides in full fledge mode with me pushing this out so tell me how you feel so when I can get to collecting my data.
YOU GOT TO PUSH! Just pretend it is some music notes behind this.