Is it me but it seems like the older you get it, it becomes more harder to make friends and actually connect with people. Now, I'm not out here casting for friends but having trustworthy people who have your back is so hard to find because in order to have that you have to have some form of trust. And building trust actually doesn’t take time it’s a person honoring their word that keeps the connection going. Outside of the relationship talk we hear about all the time making friends and becoming friends require a courtship as well. Like getting to know someone outside of your personal interest because they like to be honored in a certain way. Every sense social media has come about it has set this precedence that you can take it or leave it. When in actually reality we do need to leave a couple of people behind it's not that they are all bad people it's just they aren't on your wavelength.
Sometimes it takes them a little bit longer to grow up and meet you where you are and that is okay. Having friends, people, and associates who know that they are willing to grow and correct the response to you is a blessing. It's not always rainbows and sunshine in certain connections, right? But that also doesn’t mean you should have to be around people who constantly violate you. One thing a scientist did say that social media was breeding the most narcissistic individuals and I said how sway? Like the emotional numbness, pretending to be okay when you are not, and that instant dopamine you get from continuously doing the same thing with people will eventually get old. I have seen people leave certain environments and flourish to become the person they need to be only to be reminded by those people that they have changed up or switched up on them.
Now, granted some people can be so toxic to the point that you just end up running away and never looking back, but some people try so hard to forget the hurt that was bestowed upon them by these individuals. That they think time passing by is a cue to allow these people to come back into their life. It’s not like they know how to navigate those people or things they just become succumbed by time by only for these individuals to do the same things. I am a firm believer that you don’t have to show me twice you don’t care. Because in a world where everybody is so unpressed by people they sho’ll stay consumed with what that person is doing, who they are doing, and what they got going on. I believe in a block and unfollow because sometimes I don’t need you or that around me. Sometimes that keeps you stuck when you constantly hold onto to people electronically who serve you no purpose.
It's like swiping a card with no money on it only to be shocked when that card doesn’t work anymore. You didn’t pay the bill; you only allowed the tab to grow bigger and bigger until the account went into the negative. So, why do you constantly watch or feed into the negativity of others. It is okay to allow someone to think they won sometimes they need them shady quotes, sneak disses, and dry hating. Let them people have that baby just choose to grow on. It's not your job to bring everybody up if they meant to alleviate themselves, you’ll see if not, let them motherfuckers stay where the hell they at.
Sometimes your sanity is better than constantly preaching to the choir about how you feel just politely move out of the way. Sometimes it won’t come with ease and that is okay just know it gets greater later. And to the little hoe who stealing my content I hope you catch up bitch because it will ever be another me. But as a woman I can only talk about my experiences with women when it comes to making friends. It has been a challenge because in most cases I wasn’t looking FOR these individuals to come around and they were on some mob shit. You know that black mother shit like show me your lil routine you do so I can mimic it, or show you that I can do it better. #TRUESTORY! And when I can’t I will try my hardest to break you down because you have made it so impossible for me to be you or do what you do.
Now I don’t care about inspiring someone because some people need that light to help them grow into the individual they need to be, but when a hoe just envious and sit up and hate on other people that is some weird as shit. Like you can’t find something to do. Like go comb your hair, block the bitch, go fuck ya man/girl or something, or build a bus a boat or something. Nope but that’s too much like writing. I notice that women who say that they’re alpha females lead predominantly in their emotions, so they seek out these attachments to women who mirror or has been through things they have been through. That is cool too but what happens when the individual who you follow or attach yourself to doesn’t like change. They create conflict and start to bully or isolate you from a group or being friends with them when it was a mutual experience for the both of you guys.
I find it ironic because we have all these talk about men but women, we sure do lack accountability when it comes to getting out of our emotions at times. I will say it until I keep saying it, I DO NOT WANT THE BLACK MOTHER/ DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FEMALE FRIENDS. For those of you that don’t know what I am talking about, I am saying when your mother is wrong but she doesn’t know how to admit it so she tries to manipulate a way for her to be right or void your feelings. This comes in over time like letting you have an attitude and treating you shitty because you are having a response to their emotional card they pulled. Or the allowing time to pass by but still talk, complain, or discuss your problems non-solution-oriented people.
So, when it's time to form some form of accountability or addressing the elephant in the room nobody can say what they need to say because they already said to others. And if the one person who has held onto to their pain becomes vocal you also have someone who is offended because you want to state your emotional experience of the situation that played out at hand. This usually leads to I hear you but I’m not listening, you said something to hurt my feelings which is true, and we need to fix this today. When all these things are impossible to fix in a night when the truth should just be stated first. We never allow each other to process our emotions because we feel we have to have a respond today and make a final decision on the state of the relationship. Like what about the psychological damage, emotionally, and psychical damage it causes you. I am not a man baby try him not me.
We make it impossible for us to deal with each other because we have this need of making it seem like everybody is supposed to like us, when that shit is fictional. No matter how much healing talk I do, preach about, or write about it. It will always be people who isn’t going to like you. You can be gold, you can be happiness, you can be everything they need, or even just you they just won’t fucking accept you. That is okay. Some women are jealous, envious, catty, spiteful, evil hearted, lower vibrational, or even cruel. It isn’t your job to stay or pacify to someone emotions because you feel like you have to. Baby this your damn life if you don’t go fucking live that shit. I ain’t gone lie like that shit ain’t gone hurt but just know where there is a group of suckers it’s a group of motherfuckers that gone fuck with you because you, you.
You won’t to have something just to fit in or be accepted by people. That’s that patriarchy shit that makes women feel like we are always supposed to be appeased by physical things people give us, do for us, or show us only for us to deny our own emotional experiences. Just know when you are building bonds with people just know you require a courtship to that goes beyond someone footing the bill on a tab, someone being a listening ear, or someone who pushes the narrative in your state of weakness because they feel like you can’t. Friends becomes family if you make it right and these people show up even when they don’t want to. Sometimes they gone hurt you because they fail you because of their own needs. They humans they can’t always be there for you but don’t dismiss the times they don’t.
And start being honest are these actual relationship or bonds with some form of attachment that you have created with people out of loneliness, survival, false ship, depression, or insecurities. I put some links down below start with the first one on the bottom then work your way up.