Forgiveness is always easier said than done but it is not always the road that is well traveled. You have so many ways to go about forgiving people and yourself that at sometimes the thought of it alone leave some of us in a crippled state. Maybe the memories of the past haunt us a little bit harder, maybe starting again feels like the past again, and maybe believing that once you can FINALLY achieve something is to much for you to emotional embody. Life is tricky like that and living in the earthly design in a human vessel does has it takes on the mind, body, and spirit. The amount of hits we take in life and being taught you are to get back up immediately is quite inhumane to me.
Now I’m not saying that you can’t have moments to revel in doubt, grief, despair, sadness, fear, and disbelief. But adapting to the mind frame of where you can’t feel pain because it slows you down or shows signs of weakness is too much for a human body to carry. You ask me about my belief system from a spiritual aspect to and health aspect is that your emotions and unhealed trauma can cause wounds, decay, and sickness in the body. When we do not shed, address, or even acknowledge certain things the body has a way of bringing things to our attention. Ex: You have been saying that you have stomach pains on a frequent basis. You are going to set up the appointment for the doctor to see you, but you have a normal life to live which includes work, kids, downtime, and even school. So, you keep pushing these issues to back because your environmental needs are more important that your overall needs.
You start to notice that these symptoms only arise when stress is heightened in your life so those five minutes away from dealing with issues sooth the pain just a little bit. The stress may come from your ability to think you can achieve it all and you must because there is no one like you. So, you doctor on a wound long enough until one day you are hospitalized and read a diagnosis of one you do not like. The same stress rises again but not because you can’t accomplish these things it’s because you have put off so many things and now time is of the essence. That it causes you weaken the vessel more by not accepting the things you can not change. See when we think we have time to do what is what we want to do we tend to forget that the mind is not powerful than the body. They need to go hand in hand to execute, to plan, and strategize.
All the meanwhile life has stopped you in your tracks to get you to notice that you don’t pay attention to yourself. You have become so engulfed in the world that you have allowed it to tell you things, to dictate you, to remove you, and to isolate you from the things that truly matters. And to teach you the only way your needs can be met is when breakage is on the horizon. And when I say breakage that is near death experiences, sickness, fear of getting old, and fear of not getting what you need out of life. Child, I had my break down two weeks ago because I got tired of Bessie giving out on me and I never wanted to purchase a car. I been driving that thang since I was 17 years old. And let me tell you something letting go is hard because ima keep on trying to work on something if its valuable enough to me.
But I thought long hard and said that’s just a crutch you rely upon that keeps you from having to make those executive decisions you need out of life. I’m human and I know it’s a car, but it was old faithful and it kept me more than any human has in my life. It was low maintenance and worth the hassle. Somedays I feel like I’m betraying her, but her spirit is in my new car. Girl, I got lost let me get back on subject. Forgiveness is like waiting for the right time to do anything in life and we all know the right time isn’t always the best time. It’s the waiting game that gets our hopes up as we sit and visualize what the other person reaction should be, how or we are going to be received, and to be honest the question we ask ourselves what is true forgiveness?
Is it the I’m sorry I miss our friendships we should reconnect, I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I still mourn for the way I treated you so I think we should give this another go, or I’m sorry for trusting you because in those moments when I couldn’t trust myself, I thought I could trust you just a little bit more? Right, right? Because through all those mistakes, wounds, and energies we carry there is still a story, a role, a place, or a lost memory of something that has to be accepted. Before we start on the next journey in our life. What is it that you seek from life right at this current time in your relationship dynamics? What support that it is that you need and what is support to you? If you were to be forgiven for your mistakes, what is it that you expect in returned?
Where are you at in your emotional life that needs to be accessed so you can release the things that try to keep you bound by who you used to be? Because let me tell you something these niggas got one more time to keep trying to treat me like I’m the old me. The girl who didn’t know she was the red starburst so, she used to dim her light and be an orange starburst because she was going through some things. OKAY!
I AM SOMEBODY AND THAT’S ON JESUS NEM! TELL HIM TO SPEND THE BLOCK RIGHT QUICK ME AND MY GANG TRYING TO SAY HELLO!