Falling Out With A Friend
Falling out with a friend is never easy because when we tend fall out they take pieces of us as well we take pieces of them. It is the moments and memories we have with them that will be with us forever that haunt us because we dare to say I am hurt by your actions or recognizing that maybe they just weren’t supposed to be a part of your life in the first place. We fail to see that sometimes some people are only supposed to be a part of our lives for just a moment in time whether it be five minutes, a week, a year, or even months. Knowing what chapter, you are in, in your life can help you navigate your story just a little bit more.
Child, now that we got that out the way I haven’t fell out with a friend in so long and I just want to say thank God for the favor he placed on my life. Because when you fall out with friend it seems like you don’t s*** right for a week or so. It’s like you feel like maybe I was wrong or willingly to let toxic behavior pass by because you miss the company more than anything. An with social media running the world you don’t want a b**** spreading your tea all over the internet because she gone be one sided in that story or doing a tell it all. Jesus the horror of living that out on a day-to-day basis is draining. Child, y’all know I had my run in with narky Duck Lips back in the day with his smear campaign. Jesus I just wanted to burn down his house.
Because I wanted him to stop talking about me and just tell the damn truth, but he wasn’t a friend or lover just a sexual fling that didn’t want to phase out easy. Beef ain’t what it used to be because you have people doing shit for clicks and likes because social media gives them more attention than they get in their real live. Girl, I wouldn’t want to go through that again because fighting with people who don’t know evidence is free to obtain, they’ll rather go along with the naysayers than go find out the truth is quite disgusting. If journalism was thing for some people baby, they would pass with flying F’s.
Cause I’m starting to see that the beef that people have is more attention and emotional response base than finding an actual solution to the problem. I hate that we live in this day and age going about problems like a dysfunctional family who can’t even have a thanksgiving dinner party because so and so still mad about some shit from years ago. Like if you don’t go heal and come back and communicate how they had f***** up. Instead of trying to start arguments, be passive aggressive, condescending, and messy isn’t going to cut it. Child, if that’s how your friends be then I’m here to alert you to go find you some new friends. This is your sign from the universe.
Now granted this is seldomly amongst men than it is with women because women be something else. They be around here holding onto things like a scorned wife that made dinner 3 nights in a row and here husband missed it each night. Just holding onto to the right time to let go and tell you about yourself. Like wait a minute player we ain’t fina speed pass all that slick ish and make amends. Man, if you don’t get that toxic mother daughter dynamic on. I genuinely hated that when I was younger how my mom or other moms thought that it was cute trying to establish dominance over their children then turn around be they friends. I just used to side eye the hell out of her like lady let me process what the hell just happen to me. Like damn I just got my ass beat and now you want to talk. Like lady I don’t know if I wanted to smack the shit out you, burn the house down, cry, or lay here and contemplate my whole existence. Damn, let me figure this out.
I’m starting to see how some of y’all don’t have emotional intelligence or proper boundaries in your relationships with your friends, careers, children, and lovers. This isn’t a bad thing but it’s something that should be acknowledged so it won’t continue to hinder you in life. The older we get we have to start holding ourselves accountable for the things we indulge in even if we are blindsided by it. Sometimes we see the problem before it even starts but the fact we chose the experience of how we feel now it ends up costing us later on down the line.
WOMEN AND FRIENDSHIPS:
Tsk, tsk, tsk. What is a sisterhood? Have you ever been impacted by it in a positive way? Have you ever felt like that if the world was crumbling down there was a soul you could run to? Have you felt supported in positive way and if not would you feel free to share it out loud in a safe space? The reason I ask is that these past couple of weeks I have seen people fall out hard. It wasn’t because of something that blindsided them no it was because they knew how a person was and chose to ignore it. Women and feminine energy can be the most chaotic thing to mankind. If you remember in the beginning of COIVD-19 that I said that it was easier to fall in love than it was to find a friend.
Because COVID really sparred some of y’all from going down certain roads with certain people because they path was headed to destruction. And for those you who are folly you got caught in the storm of somebody else’s drama, because you didn’t know how to be still. BABY! Patience isn’t external it is an internal thing. The thing that seems to bother me with women relationships is that when they have something they can fix that is when you become a target. If you lack in an area they dominate in you have now created a new master to serve instead of you. It’s true women rarely know how to be a good friend, but they know how to do some good shit.
Don’t that sound like a man. I say all the time I can’t tell a man how to be a man, but I can tell him how to love a woman. And by sitting back and observing I see why and how a lot of these toxic little cunts be getting over and finessing women the way they do. That’s neither here nor there but I had to get it out. We never vet our friends like we vet our men we just assume because she identifies as female that she has my best interest at heart. Baby is she alive, does she have breath in her body, and was she raised by humans? Child, it’s some behavior patterns we don’t know about that may or may not affect how the way the relationship will go.
We talked about this a couple of months of go and last year about how we as women allow other people experiences of life affect how we see others. We fail to see life through our own lenses and understand what it is that we need so we can know what is for us and what is against us. I listed a couple of blogs above this paragraph to help you out. I have just discovered the reason why we go through so many friendships because our self-discovery phases ended the moment we started to go through puberty. It was normal for boys to fight, be destructive, and have sex. All the meanwhile we had to be mature, cognizance, alert, and prepare for the future.
This is why inner child work for women can be the hardest because she has psychologically programmed herself believing the experiences she had in life is normal. Meaning being chaotic, shunned, suppressed, silent when needing to be loud, and to move when she should she go. I get it we all have been there; the inner child is where we make friends. It comes from how we viewed ourselves and how we give that power away to others because they are more cooler than us. Or we tend to think they are prettier than us, privileged than us, has more money than us, or how life moves for them. Insecurity is universal but it seems to more highlighted in a woman’s mind out loud than it is a man in a man.
This is why we crave those toxic and emotional unstable friendships because they are who we never were meant to be. We never stop to look at the wild friend and say I will be this fearless with my dreams. We never look at the hoe friend and say man she’s a damn good networker, how can I be more vocal about my needs. Or my favorite she got a good man I want to know why he loves her? Inexperience I tell you is what we are to some one else. The problem lies when we are too afraid to admit to ourselves that we actually needed those experiences from other people to make us better no matter how hard they tried.