As you grow in life, I feel like your relationships should be a reflection of that. I mean it’s tricky trying to let go of things, people, places, and hobbies because they aided us into becoming the individuals we are today. I was just sitting outside and reflecting on certain things and I found myself wandering into me and I liked the feeling I gave me. It had been awhile since I honed in my own magic because every time I turn around somebody is always wanting or needing something from me. And when I speak of magic, I’m talking about my existence and value I have been giving on this earthly plane.
But I thought to myself about the countless of times I have tried to wait or enlighten people to come with me on my journey. You know I was into to religious practice such as Christianity at one point and I still respect the art of deities and the enlightenment people get from their source of creator. I still read the bible from time to time to break down those cryptic messages in there. Majority of my mind has been on the fact Jesus had made a lot of mistakes while encountering with lower vibrational people.
Now before you go off attacking me in the comments or having think piece about what I wrote hear me out. As people who are light workers, healers, reiki specialist, shamans, practitioners, babas, and pastors you have at one point found yourself in situations where you know you don’t belong. And I’m not talking about from a judgmental space but for what is going in your life. Think about it, God gave the world one of his miraculous healers and it’s some people living this day and age who are just that. Only for him to have a get crucified to be reborn again and to leave with just Mary and live his life.
Now as you know I’m a Scorpio sun and moon so the tearing things down and rebirthing it is kind of my thing. I have had self-sabotaging traits that has limited me in life while at the same time bouncing back right in the eyes of those that counted me out. I mean as I self-reflect it is actually amazing how I used to try to kill off parts of myself just for other people to accept me. (LMMFAO) literally I’m over here chuckling! And I couldn’t quite understand how someone gave their life for mines.
Until it hit me that the battles I had I been through in life my ancestors had already been through them and the times I didn’t listen to my intuition or didn’t follow through with the things I needed to put me in crucifying situations. For those you in tarot think of 5 of pentacles. It has been times when I have felt like Jesus, and my ancestors has failed me because they didn’t come to aid me in trivial matters. One because what I was doing, I had already knew that it wasn’t going to work for me and I was trying to do something to make the time go by. Did you not hear me say how I went to school for early childhood education, medical assistant, licensed cosmetologist, and business management and marketing? And I had to go to hair school 3 time to finish and each time I was trying to become something somebody else wanted me to be.
I found myself all over the place because the people in my life were all over the place. So, my relationship with God was like nigga you gone have to just put up with this because this is how I am. Until the roles were reversed with the humans I interact with on a daily basis. Now keep in mind after I finally had become vulnerable it was like the veil had been lifted and the people, I was around didn’t look to the same to me anymore. Not saying I wanted to cut them off, but I wanted them to step it up just a lit bit you know enlighten them. Not like how conscious people be because sometimes they forget their humans and be stir crazy when it comes to enlightening the people. Sorry I love yall though, but empathy isn’t yall biggest thing.
Now I just wanted people to be to the person I knew they could be like better humans, parents, mothers, fathers, cousins, and siblings. Just the small things we take for granted. Now keep in mind it’s a lot of rules in the bible and I can’t follow all of them I’m human and I make mistakes that guilt being weighed over my head about failing Jesus. Um hmm. I just had two step, on out because I had a higher mission and my ancestors and guides where ready to awaken me. And certain practices they are in it goes against the religious teaching to some part because magic in the wrong hands can be damaging.
So, praying, dancing, shouting, and worshipping its an incantation that many people can participate in. But I needed a little more. But it took for me to see how in my relationships I didn’t take the time to understand them and myself to see how we coexisted with each other. How I was trying to get people to get me without putting any time and interest into showing them the real me. I mean I think it took for me to be on camera for me to break down those barriers. I find myself being secretive and still don’t tell everything people feel entitled to because that can be dangerous information in the wrong hands.
But the human part of me that I hid behind being and asshole had to be shown so it can show me that being cold and nice serves it purpose in the right setting. It showed me how I was hiding parts of me from people who I knew would abuse my kindness or magic. It showed me that empathy and understanding will always be more powerful than any amount of money. No matter the situation or circumstances it showed me to don’t lose you and you I mean as in me.
So, I wrote all this to say if your relationships don’t reflect who are at this moment it’s okay if you feel alone. Just know your ship is on the way. Either your coming to them or they’re coming to you it’s all about getting yourself into alignment. If you don’t take away nothing from this remember Jesus was common man and people were swayed by what he could for them not who he was. Why is it every passage that is written with him in it, he was always doing something for someone and them not doing something for him.
This is the year of reevaluation, so take the time to make sure that those around aren’t drilling holes in the boat because they know they can’t go with you. This is the year of understanding that everything you do disagree on with someone doesn’t make them an enemy. It’s time to get higher.