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Emotionally Awkward

Hello boys and girls its been so long. Nawl not really, it’s just been taking forever for me to finish my damn hair, please remind me again to not cut my hair off EVER again. Thanks management.

The blog you all have been waiting for. You guys have heard me mention about air signs being awkward with their emotional concept. And by air signs I mean (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) getting them to open up its like getting me to tell all my secrets. And yall know that isn’t going to happen.

But as we navigate into the new year searching and expecting some grand change because we all have been idle for too long and this has been emotionally taxing. Before we close out the year, I would like to say that this year to me was about us as a collective getting us to experience more parts of ourselves. How our minds think, explore our sinister sides, and express and demand for things we want. It took a lot of us by surprise for standing our grounds and creating boundaries.

I mean people act like establishing boundaries is something that is easy to do especially when we feel like it’s an attack on us an individual or the other person. But as a collective we got to see the other side of the rainbow and whether it was storming or not. The time we have spent on social media trying to make the time fly pass we let our guards down a little more. We experienced a hurt we have never experienced before.

We felt emotions that has been in us all along. This year and this last month have been emotionally triggering to the point that a lot of us are ready to walk away from things we once said we cared about. This year taught us to expect more out of life not because we were living in fear, but because we were deprived of the things we need. Which is love, acceptance, and support.

Some people may beg to differ, but I would say the exact opposite. Conversations changed and we as a collective got tired of the lower vibrational things out of life. The expectancy of always being good when you’re not and learning how to be vulnerable with yourself. And for some that isn’t an easy thing to do when you have to be bottle up your emotions because like I said in an old post some people aren’t genuine with your heart.

That isn’t to create more trust issue but to hold more accountability with yourself. I always say when people aren’t comfortable with me, I have to ask myself I am not creating an environment for them to be themselves. For some it is that and I’m not even going to lie. Some people you just know not to waste your energy on.

It doesn’t make them bad people its just the time and energy you exude on trying to make a situation copasetic.

That can be emotionally tasking dealing with individuals who are so hell bent on having their way. I say my greatest weakness is not being a team player. I’ll be on the team but constantly being in the game isn’t my thing. I believe there is a role for everybody in your life. You are the author and illustrator. And some people are figuring that out this year.

Because when life got real it exposed all those people who you thought was your friend. Those family members who only partake in gossip. That career where you have been trying to climb the corporate ladder to only get told your find where you are, and it forced you to not be okay with it. So, a lot of people decided to be the change they wanted to be whether it was moving, finding love, getting a divorce, having kids, establishing a new trade, and finishing school.

That is what this year has taught us to be okay with ourselves so that we can navigate any situation or concept people, or life think that you are supposed to be okay with. I labeled this blog emotionally awkward because I have those moments where I have this burst of energy that is filled with excitement. But sometimes my environment isn’t and reflection of my true state of being.

Does that mean I’m supposed to dampen my light because other aren’t? Am I supposed to make others feel good because I feel good?

Hell no, I work on mastering and understand where that feeling is coming from so I can keep it up. Because when you waste your time and energy on other people before yourself you teach your body to only recognize your emotions when you do something for someone else. Creating this unalignment between your heart and mind. So, when you get to the space of doing what feels good versus what is right you will always be burden by your own decision making.

Creating some awkward tension between you and your emotions. Hell, I’m not a crier but I still know how to show emotions whether it be sad, angry, hurt, mad, happy, or joyful. Does that make me less of a human because I don’t show 50 million emotions at one time? And for people who suffer from BP disorder that ain’t for you boo! No, it doesn’t make me less of a human and it doesn’t make me and emotional punching bag.

Because people who don’t always show their emotions all the time think it is okay for people to implode their personal issues on to you. The moment you stand up for yourself, be ready to be the bad guy. Because people never stop to say how or what I am doing will affect this person. Baby you don’t know the countless of times I have been in an argument with people whom I love or care for stating my feelings. And the whole time their looking like but I didn’t think that.

In the words of my mama YOU DON’T GET PAID FOR THINKING. Jokes on her because technically I’m not getting that guwop for this but it’s coming. Let’s get back on track though. But I just wanted to say everybody is different and their emotional response is different. Why do you think when you scroll social media you have so many people expressing their thoughts on something?

One because it gives them the emotional freedom to do so. On the other hand, some people just do it unconsciously because of likes and views.

Hey that’s something we all have to work on and honoring our intuition to be able to see how and where a conversation is going. I hope all is well and I hope you are working on your emotional state as well your mental health.


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