Emotional Blackmail
Emotional blackmail is the inability for a person to be able to process or deal with their own emotions, so they project or neglect yours. So, yall know there is this one individual who has wronged me and reaching out to reconnect. I have no problem with accepting the apology, the problem comes in for me is because the intent of it is off. They aren’t seeking forgiveness their seeking shelter to place their karma elsewhere. See people have this ability of thinking they can do whatever they want to people in life with no regards for their own consequences. To me I find it quite weird and just downright rude. I’m pass the stage in my life where I allowed hurt people to hurt me it serves no purpose honestly. The old me was a slave to my loyalty you could hurt me, and I would allow you to come back because I adored the relationship more than the other party. But what happens when the games and tricks have run their course?
See this person was cruel played on my intelligence, was downright manipulative, and last but least sowed seeds of chaos wherever he went. I met this individual when I was in a vulnerable space, I was looking for validation from the outside and acceptance only to be shunned, ridicule, and abused time and time again. Now I’m no victim to my sorrow but I be damn if I haven’t experienced this type of behavior before. Little did I know I was in a karmic cycle so while I was looking for escape and something new this person was just like all the other snakes I have met. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing only to turn out to be a sheep in terror masking their pain through hurt. This individual lied and tried to control my life because they were so unhappy with theirs. You know the old saying misery loves company.
See those popular or cool kids in school always turn out to be the most shitty and fucked up individuals. Now I’m using school to set the scene not the actual school experience but for some of you have experienced these people before. When I was happy or found solace in anything this individual would run it. He would hide and lie behind his tricks thinking he would never get caught. See he knew my weaknesses but never strengths and that’s when he started to fail. So, the ongoing of woe is me, this person isn’t your friend, or they said such and such about you got old really quick. Cause my mama always said every dog that took a bone brung a bone as well. See I’m Scorpio sun and moon and raised by strict parents so I’m as slick as they come my father will tell you so. Their ain’t nothing you can do to me that I won’t see, and I won’t know because unlike most people I don’t want you to have the ability to tell my story for me.
Some people I hung around I knew I couldn’t trust them so I planted a little information here and little bit there so if anything came out, they would scramble to put the pieces together. And I would always know who said what and where information came from. I don’t believe in the middleman because they always trying get a cut or take something away and that’s all he was. But what behooved me is his ability to think he was slicker than a can of oil. I peeped his game real quick but that fact the he was crafty and sneaky like a fox I was always left with you gotta be quicker than that. So, I started to take my time and I could notice how when I wanted to be different from the others it was always a problem. I mean I felt if he desired or wanted me as such why is it always a problem when I want to do something that’s is in the best interest for me. Chile, he got so grimy to the point when I was getting my hair braided, he paid a girl to cut a piece of my hair so he could start the root work process.
What made it obvious is because she never could talk to me or look me in eyes, and I was raise old school, so you look a person in the face when you are talking. You don’t hold your head down when you talking to people unless your shame of something you hold your head up. So, I noticed the more I wanted more he would go back in the dark to block because of his resentment of my ability to get back up. See he was little boy who had no help or love so he feels he can take what’s not his. People enabled that monster because they feared him and chile fear does nothing for me it creates a hate in my heart. So, when I feel that way my shadow feels it room to get even. And sometimes it can be my worst enemy because when she wants revenge, she has no remorse or any feelings for anyone or anything in the process. So, my ancestor reached out and told me to slow down because it was lesson that needed to be learned and taught for many to come.
The lesson taught me accountability even on my worst days that I was responsible to get me back in a healthy position. No matter if they hurt me, lied on me, and even tormented me I still had to get the job done. Because when you sit in misery people who don’t like accountability and emotional honesty you are their greatest victim. It’s like you putting your self on the chop and block to be used and taken advantage of. The main so cocky to put where he was so busy digging a grave a for me that that now he is asking me to help him out. Where they do, they at? See when I met I was Christian with blind faith and he called himself the antichrist because he is a little boy whose inner child that was killed, so he goes off killing your hope, dreams, manifestations, and happiness. Because the only thing he know is torment. So, that same pain he worked so hard to replace with money, cars, credibility, and resources are being tested. See their good for the physical world but not the metaphysical so know he’s being called to go through everything that hurt him, me, and others. And I must say it ain’t so fun when the rabbit got the gun.
Life has a way humbling the most high and mighty individuals who think they are Gods. See humans fails to recognize that it is only a few that possess that lineage of a God. See humans fail to recognize their ego, pride, and flattery and that comes with being a God. When you’re not it creation has a way of showing you, you’re not it. Do I wish him any harm no do I want to leave my life forever yes? Is he deserving of second chance I don’t know because I’m not the ruler of karma, but I be damn if he tries to work his way in on these blessings? You’re on your own bucko. I pride myself on being black and I told yall my son had to see me grow through many things to become who I am now. This man had no remorse for my human experience do you know how hard it to raise a little back boy in a single parent home while his mother manages her emotions. That is the most vile shit a child could ever see. Some of you are still dealing with the psychological damage your parents had on you how they tell you I had you so you owe them as if you wanted to be here on earth.
I pushed and survived through many days and came out on top and now because they same God’s he defies use their magic and try to speak their language wants revenge I’m supposed to care. I don’t have in me why should I? I just wished him the best life and hopes he gets through these trying times what more do you want from me. But I’ll leave a few steps below on how to acknowledge and process emotional blackmail.
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1. Acceptance: Have you ever told someone some good news and you see the disdain come on their face. They try to find the wrongs in your blessings. They try to manipulate you into thinking something is to good to be true, they talk you out of something because it takes you away from them. The fact they can not see you without them is the lengths a person is willing to go to, to keep you stuck. You see this all the time in black movies, urban ones at that where the male is trying to start his life over and his friends make him feel bad about wanting to get out the gang life. Some of you guys have parents, friends, lovers, children, and employers and employees who do this.
· 2. Control: They keep you occupied with their things all the time. They pop up at the most random times. They send roadblocks to keep you hindered. Let’s use mama boys for example: you found a lover your interested in and your mom knows you have a date that day she tells you to go do something for her knowing its going to cause a problem with your lover. She doesn’t care she wants what she wants the love you give them they pride themselves on getting that from you.
· 3. Accountability: Let’s just chalk that out the window because it comes with strings attached. I call this the saving face process where I just a do enough to shut you up because once your done I’m going right to the same antics that caused us to fall out. I just need to always have someone in my corner even if I abused the connection. They say things like I’m sorry, you know how I am, and last but least I was busy when you always need them.
· 4. Mental Illness Traps: Now I have seen my fair share of post on social media of women/men saying their lovers threatened to kill themselves if they would leave. At this point all sanity is off the tactic is confusion and fear. What does fear do it keeps you stuck to the point you can’t move. They use all types of tricks at this point to keep you coming back they are worse than a toddler getting put to bed and start asking for everything. It’s quite disgusting when you just stop and watch what a person does sometimes.
· 5. The Punisher: They go weeks without communication sometimes they go to the point of shaming you in front of people you know. Why? Because it’s always going to be some unevolved dumbass trying to force you to reconnect with a shitty individual. The bigger the scene the quicker the response it’s to catch you off guard because in that moment your vulnerable to judgement. This is why I say I learned to stop giving a fuck a long time ago. They will downright be cruel to you they will go through the Indian giver process where everything they have done or bought; they take back because they know eventually you need it. This is when the thug it out process should be in effect. They have no remorse for your feelings because they are looking for people and you to be sympathetic to their needs. Leaving you weak and emotionally drained to point you feel you have no choice but to put up with this behavior because that’s all your exposed to. .
BUT WHEN YOU LEARN TO STUDY YOU LIKE YOUR OPPONENT YOU HAVE MASTERED THE MIND GAMES OF A NARCISSIT, EGOMANICAL, SELFISH, LOWER VIBARATIONAL, ENVIOUS, AND JUDGEMENTAL BEINGS. They can’t use what they don't know that’s why it’s best to honor your truth before you go making someone do something you cannot.