Is it me or does it seem like an idol mind and has been the devil's playground for a lot of people? I mean for me it has become draining constantly going over and talking about the same things. Like I remember when we first started this healing journey it was new to some people and they were willing to do it. Now that people have stopped their healing phase and has started back trying to ruin or self-sabotage their life have been emotionally intolerable. Like I have no patience for it because it seems as if they are doing it to get some form of attention when it is completely backfiring. I get IT healing starts off new and become refreshing to the point it seems as if you become stagnant until the next chapter comes rolling in.
And you see how quickly some people aren't ready to acknowledge certain things so they find ways to undo all of the things they have done right. Trust me I get it because I have been there when life seems to be too easy and stress free that you start to second guess if some shit is to be to be true. So, you find yourself hanging with people who you cut off for a reason, doing things that cost you to lose you in the first place, and the whole I been there done that so I know how to do it differently this time when you don’t. I got some sacral trauma work I want to drop so bad but I feel like this gone help the hoes out who hate me so bad that it got me contemplating some things. Because if you hate a nigga so bad why you doing all of that.
And for me this grade school as drama that has been going on has been exhausting because I noticed when women fall out, they feel like the only way healing is going to happen unless one of the other understand where they coming from. Like if you don’t move the hell on and go find some new nouns to hang out with. Like why do you need to make someone see your point of view why can’t you see that this person doesn’t care about your feelings. Sometimes I genuinely want to say this but at times I don’t because I know certain people come from different backgrounds so, their emotional upbringing may make them feel like they should try a little harder. And with harder come stress, arguments, resentment, and disrespect. And like any human being when you feel tired of doing things and don’t feel like you should walk away you find a way to make someone feel your pain.
Only for you guys to keep going through the same thing over and over again until you fall out about something new. Please start paying attention to the things you start praying about when you wanting God to expose something to you about a person, place, and thing. I think most people need to understand the art of attachment and that is more conflicting to deal with than the title of a person alone. Like think about it did you really want to give up your first toy because it was broken, your first car, home, relationship, or job. Hell, no because it served you at some point and we think that the memories of that situation is tethered to things when the memories reside within you.
It's crazy how powerful the human experience can be. How it can make you suppress, or repress emotions because we have the psychical aspects of something. I give you an example; you are in a relationship with a no-good man/woman an accordingly to society you keep staying with this person, but the moment they do something that is new to you but it is the same emotional pain we quickly remember how they had us fucked up. How sway is this, that is causes all of this emotional damage we experience in real life at this time. That it can throw the equilibrium off in the mind I find this crazy because emotions are valid and real and should be acknowledged.
I have got called emotional or to serious but hey I know what works for me and not for you. But I do know over time not acknowledging someone's feelings, showing someone that they matter, they are heard, or valued causes a great divide in many communities. The old African proverb states that child who isn't embraced will burn down the village. Now this doesn’t go for you ones who keep trying to push yourself in places where you don’t belong. Social media has made us believe that we are entitled to everything that is why everything that happens to us throws us off psychologically. We know no bounds I am not saying that we shouldn’t be privy to certain things but if you know, no control then the damage that is bestowed upon to you can sometimes come at your own demise.
Sometimes we are our own problem and cure, but we be too scared to admit it because we fear hearing you were right or not having someone to accept that you messed up and still meet you with that care before that mistake. And we also have to know that some mistakes come with consequences beyond jail, we can lose things that was once valuable to us like friends, family, lovers, careers, and even hope. It’s like when do we or I as in you sit down and say I am tired of the same old things and I am going to break this pattern? I mean why don’t you? Is it because you fear those people who you made connections with are scared to see you or know they won’t accept all of you? I mean we preach all of this alone shit but who's able to stand alone emotionally outside of the physiology aspect.
Without being a douche or treating it as if it is a trending personality trait. Like do you know to stand alone without the fear of being judged. That is something I stand in to honor my ancestors because they were mocked, beaten, and humiliated because they could stand alone no matter the circumstance. It’s funny how that trait has been killed off due to it being a popularity contest with people who could care less about who we are on the inside. Now I don’t want to know everyone on a personal scale like but I do think we should all at least in this lifetime experience this. For some people they need this so they can go off and make better decisions for themselves instead of being constantly gouped by pretenders.
Like what does living in fear give you? What do you gain from it? Comfort. And with comfort it breeds the same emotions, same experience, same drama, same sadness, same pain, and same old things. So, I find myself looking in aw, disgust, hate, sadness, or emotionally off because even some stuff isn't if worth the hassle. Sometimes we know when we have ran out, we are wrong, and even fucked up to the point it doesn’t require explanation. Because somethings are downright hurtful, harmful, and even to the detriment of another. That it even plagues me at times when someone is trying to get someone to see their side of things when we may ever know if you have genuinely changed. Other than that, check out the forum TOMORROW for some journal studies you can work on this week.
SIGNED A TIRED NEGRO WHO JUST WANTS TO BE IN CABIN, DRINKING COCO IN A ONESIE, SMOKING GOOD WEED, WITH A FIREPLACE LIT, SINGING CHRISTMAS SONGS, WATCHING TV, WAITING ON MY COOKIES, KISSING SOME NIGGA IN THE MOUTH, AND WATCHING THE SNOW FALL DOWN!