Dating After A Toxic Relationship

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT BIAS AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT CIARA AND RUSSEL WILSON GOT GOING ON OVER THERE IN THEIR REALTIONSHIP. SO, THIS IS JUST WRITTEN OFF OF MANY WOMEN WHOSE ASKING WHERE IS MY RUSSEL WILSON. LIKE SIS WHATS THE PRAYER?

Now as the caption stated it can be extremely hard when you are tying to date after a toxic relationship. And I when I say toxic, I mean the unevolved love where the sex was more amazing than the actual relationship. I mean you felt understood and as if this person could do no wrong but when it was time to grow up it seems as if it never happened as a team. You found yourself arguing or asking for the bare minimum when in reality you could’ve asked for me.

You just knew this individual was incapable of giving it to you, you seen the potential but over time reality shattered the dreams you had with this person. I mean add in love their and you find yourself doing time in a relationship like you’re serving a prison sentence and constantly going up to the parole board to be released and it never happens. But one day you find yourself saying enough I can’t fake the pain, the hurt, the lies, and deceit so you leave the relationship.

Now leaving this person behind was the hardest decision you had to make because let’s be honest you weren’t so perfect as well. Now as the relationship had ended you find yourself wondering what you could’ve did better to make them love you or shown them you loved them and all of them. Only to be met with reality over and over again. You find yourself rummaging through dating prospects to be met with people you are totally incompatible with.

Reason being, is because you haven’t healed and took the time out to mourn a piece of you that was given away so carelessly for love. So, dating seems like a burden versus actually getting to know people because if your anything like me I’m hopeless romantic but in my own special kind of way. You know the googly eyes, laughing, carefree but serious. I told yall I’m little bit materialistic, so I like nice things and man who wants that as well without him trying so hard to get it. Like it doesn’t have to be a lifestyle for him, but it comes with ease. Chile let me get focus before I write this whole thing about my dream man. “WHEW”

So back to the topic so searching for love while your heart is broken can be tricky because you either avoid those who are evolved and end up talking to people who are like your ex. The de-fuckery you must go through in order to be willing to receive the person that is for you is challenging. I mean somedays it’s going to feel like you will never find love and meanwhile the other days you are gung-ho about it. The tricky part is are you actually ready for a Russell Wilson type man? Because that’s the challenging the part.

A lot of us women be wanting men who are understanding, caring, a provider, a man actually liking your kids meanwhile I’ll defense game is so strong. Like think about it, majority of women with kids are single moms so them being dad and mom is a role that many women do not want. It’s not like you want your baby daddy well probably at some point for yall but you want a family. You know where your appreciated, understood, were everyone is basically valuable.

But when you’re not used to that type of man and energy baby you be wanting to bite his head off in the beginning of relationship or dating phase. Because unlike you he’s ready for whatever and you on the other hand are coming with a contingency plan in case the relationship goes south. I mean what a way to show you have faith in your God, creation, or yourself. Geesh. Practice makes perfect right. And I’m not saying the relationship will always be rainbows and sunshine’s like we sometimes believe but it’s real, its honest, and he’s there to help.

Like serious I said my next relationship gone be so simpatico people gone be like girl I don’t want to hear about him. Well I do TF! What I mean is someone who going to help me as well as I have to be as willing to help him. Like compromise honestly like one day I’m gone to show a n**** my mushy side! :-/ ! After all these years of me being the real n****! Honestly, I know it’s going to take time but child I’ll get scared if he starts to move too fast but what I learned is what you ask for don’t care about your timing.

So, I’ll leave yall with this unpack you as much as you can so when love comes knocking on your door you won’t feel like you have to choose between you and love. Making another major sacrifice that you may or may not regret. The unpacking phase is where you unlearn all past baggage that has hindered you and your growth. It’s were we create vulnerabilities with ourselves and not leaving them to the nouns to do such. So, when loves comes knocking you want always to fight the process by wasting time and making people prove themselves and their abilities.

Honestly are you ready for a new love? Where the love covers all aspects you, the kids, the house, car, money management, time, date night, co-parenting, boundaries, and last but least life. I always say after any long-term relationship you should seek counseling not because you’re crazy or something is wrong with you but sometimes you need to vent in a nonjudgmental environment. You’ll be amazed at how much stuff you hold in and things we do that are damaging to ourselves that gives others the room to do so.

Remember we show people how we treat ourselves. It’s still hot girl summer but chile its looking real baecationess. CHOW

P.S GO WATCH COUNTIGN ALL THE STARS ITS MY FAVORITE MOVIE