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What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of a crossroad? Like just visualize you being at a crossroad and no is one is forcing you take a path which one would you choose? If you could see what comes with the road you’ve chose would take it from a mind frame of, I can deal with this or the opposite saying I don’t know this one looks unfamiliar to me?

Lately the collective of people have been stuck in these karmic cycles choosing to react to the same things that brings out the same emotions and responses. Leaving them to be drained of themselves when its time to make a move for them. As you’ve been hearing me saying the number 20 is all about aligning yourself with the right partnerships meaning business, lovers, friends, and family. But what happens when your past environmental factors make the decision for you.

For those of you that don’t know what environmental factors they are are the places, people, or things that consume majority of your time. Whether it be past connections and experiences that had made you into the person you have become. Majority of the people who are suffering in this moment are people in relationships, family, and friends. In a post I wrote about this lady doing a tarot reading on the dying of narcissism and how most people who usually rely on others for moral, and emotional support where going to get hit pretty hard. Because that’s the part of humanity that most humans suffer with not being narcissistic but having parts of us defined by other people and the things we do that we seek outside approval from people saying congratulations I see you doing your job.

Because most of these people have stories, stories that haven’t been told either they’re afraid to face themselves or they’ve never stopped to even read page out their own chapter i.e. self-reflection. That leads them living lives and lies because of this false sense of approval from masses our family, moms, dads, siblings, and lovers’ places upon us. Did know every black boy whether he is from the hood or not is always forced with the narrative to get a job, go to college, and basically do something with himself because a man is to never be lazy. I don’t like lazy, but I think the word is complacent we are looking for. There are so many lost men in America that are just maneuvering around because they fear being lazy because of the societies standards of what a man should be.

I mean it’s crazy because as a woman I like material things, money, sex, and time a male can give me, but I don’t like it when it comes from a dead source. Meaning he does things because he feels he should versus him being alignment with himself and understanding the journey he is placed upon. You know the guys who’ve seen him mom struggle, so he goes all his way to provide for his mom when he gets of age. Or having kids with someone who he doesn’t connect with but values her essence through his mom so he allows her to take more than she should. Leaving him drained when he decides to move on to another party only to repeat the same thing and find himself lost because what used to work doesn’t work anymore.

Right now, this is your past/future meaning what you do today can have an impact on your tomorrow. As if right now there is someone contemplating on changing their future with the mindset of what got them in the position they are in as we speak. Meaning if you are having family troubles what role do you play as enabling or inflaming the quarrels. Are you a passivist or a know it all? Like honestly how do you feel about your family? Is it difficult for you to relate to them cause if so then it’s probably hard for others to relate to you? I mean you may find connections with people but honestly do they last? I mean are they supportive as you need them to be or they drop the ball in certain areas that leave you fragmented and left with the idea of let me just go with the familiars of my past causing you to hurt more.

That every time you want to start over or desiring something new it always goes back to the old. My child you have chosen the road of the unfamiliar and failed to see the red flags because you’ve let your past dictate your future. I just said this is your past/future so, it could’ve been the pain you’ve been holding on to, the memories and emotions, or downright your stubbornness causing you to where yourself thin. See when you carry those burdens around with you, you fail to recognize that they leave trace evidence for people and situations to find you. No matter the good or contentment your searching for in life the problems will always find you because your so focused on bringing the negative with you unconsciously.

Think about it when I’m dating, I don’t bring up my ex-lovers because they aren’t trying to find a man, I am so why are they needed in this conversation. I can see if we go together and we’re unpacking our past and my lover asks about it but coming into the dating phase with the baggage of my ex-lovers is only creating the same narrative in a new setting. Of course, you would want any situation to be better than the last especially if it sucked but why are letting your past dictate your happiness. If you can’t be content with the now how will the future be anything different.

So the next time your questioning yourself and avoiding listening to your intuition ask yourself am I so busy that I fail to recognize my own emotional needs to help me get a better understanding of my future.

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