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Black Family Drama Pt.3 (Value of Family)

Y’all know the black family drama dropped and we overlooked a few things that goes in the black community amongst family. But this isn’t about that we just gone go over a couple of things we expect from family and how we can get to those family-like bonds.

https://www.phuckyoanxiety.com/post/the-intro-to-the-black-family

https://www.phuckyoanxiety.com/post/black-family-drama-pt-2


As we see in this day and age a lot of people are more aware of the traumas that has been attached to the word family. We are now trying to break free from generational curses and trauma bonds. So, now the collective that has kids and are now trying to be more open to idea of building long term relationships with friends and career associates are struggling with the value of family.


To me family is a place that resonates with your soul, it’s the place you go to when you’re hungry, feeling shame and guilt, oppressed, or looking for downright acceptance. It’s a place of love, a love that has a greater meaning that isn’t constantly accepting bad behavior from your kin or friends. It’s a love that teaches us how to value ourselves where we take the teachings and pass them down to each generation and not in a hierarchy sense.

Its where emotional freedom is made, and respect isn’t something that condemns my freedom of speech. It is more than that my mama is your sister and your daddy is my uncle no, it is love. A love that is defined not only by mines but yours as well, where life creates a blissful experience. To me family isn’t Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Fourth of July. No those are family reunions.


And a lot of the collective that is going through family pains are asking for more than just a dinner plate and that half ass understanding of what life is doing to them. They are seeking to bring peace and awareness to a new side of life that creates room for error and growth. Most of the collectives that I talk to are trying to dismantle the hierarchy in families.


Where you can’t go to elders and talk about the abuse that goes in your home, broken relationships with cousins, and sibling fighting like cats and dogs. They are looking for answers because as people we can be confused, and confusion is the enemy’s territory. Causing us to hate our own and turn against our own all because of an emotional experience.


The pressure parents place on kids to not be them and elders constantly saying this is your family but not doing nothing about the disconnect that is going on. Is blatantly maddening and downright cruel. In a world where nobody wants to be wrong and everybody wants to be right it is leaving us all mad and hurting ourselves. So many people walking around in pain and passing it to others because of how they were raised and never stopped to change it because they feared being different.


Social acceptance is a booger wooger especially when it has to do with family. But since we have made it this far with the part three let’s get into ways I started working on my ancestral healing and inner child issues.

HEALING:

Healing is a you job it’s like deciding to get sober and going through a twelve-step program. The purpose of a sponsor is to help you so much until they see you can do it on your own. It’s not to create an emotional codependency it is for you develop a sense of trust with self, so you can know when to ask for help.


When working on family issues you have to realize that someone being accountable doesn’t mean they have to be your emotional punching bag. Every sorry doesn’t come with changed behavior sometimes its just their acknowledgment of your pain. It doesn’t mean they will grow with you; you have to be okay with you first.


Please stop focusing on someone else’s wellbeing before yourself. I say that in the most non selfish way because so many people pass up opportunities for healing themselves to allow some else the chance too. No sir if you seen the mental health check blog counselors, therapist, psychiatrist, and healers are not just experienced in just one area. Okay, they always have room for you.


It’s all about timing. Majority of family issues really be YOU issues meaning one person is pissed and drags everybody along and emotional down because they can. Creating the dynamic of a toxic relationship amongst the collective. Just because a group of people have a problem with a person doesn’t mean their issue is the same. We all have different emotions.


Sometimes it was how something was perceived whether it be emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually.

ANCESTRAL WORK:

I REPEAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SEEK SOME MEDIUM TO SUMMON A SPIRIT TO HELP YOU BETTER UNDERSTAND YOUR ANCESTORS IDENTITY. YOU KNEW THE LIFE THEY LIVED EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW THEM ASK, THEY OFFSPRINGS.


These day and ages people have made this ancestral calling seem so smooth and trendy. Chile, when my grandma playful ass was reaching out to me baby, she was kinda annoying. She was in my dream state, I could smell her, and I had a bunch memorabilia of moments we had together. Keep in mind everybody isn’t going to have the gift.


Stop letting these people trick you out your religion and then encountering beings who pretend to be your ancestors causing havoc. Deities can do that too when they want you to be assigned to them. Ancestral work is all about seeing how your grandparents or passed love one’s lives are affecting you. Prime example everybody on my paternal grandma side struggles with relationships with men.


Why because my granny didn’t heal her trauma, so she passed it on like a badge of honor. You’ll will know but sometimes when family are so closed tight with issues you might have to step outside to seek a medium, practitioner, or shaman to help you. But nine times out of ten we as kids be so ready to be grown that we avoid everything our parents went through that we speed pass the lesson itself. It is right in our face but because we be on some I’m not going to be like my mama or father that we actually end up being them.

TRUE STORY! So, ancestor work is kinda hard when you haven’t faced you, you’ll just be putting the blame on them for the problems you went through. When that’s a part of grief you experienced. I did it but at the same time I didn’t stay in that emotional state.


ANCESTOR WORK IS SIMILAR TOO GENERATIONAL CURSES.

Generational curses are more of the realm of were mothers hate daughters and sons hate their fathers. Its grudges passed down from one generation to the next. Its like the when the old folks you used to say you marked that baby. Meaning you was so busy speaking on people when you were pregnant that your child ends up doing and acting the same one as the one you hate.


If you have a child, you know exactly what I’m talking about one of your children either act like they mama or they daddy and that shit is annoying. You see generational trauma and ancestral work is kind of the same because you see where the action of someone else has left you to deal with. It’s more about the family aspect and what roles people play in your life. Meanwhile ancestral work sometimes is a one on one or many loved ones affecting the family.


The passing of trauma is the choice of someone who decided or didn’t know how to deal with an issue. So, it just became a family ongoing issue that could’ve been nipped in the bud.

INNER CHILD ISSUE:

The self-reflection of the experiences you encountered with family, friends, and loved ones. The life inside of a life venturing into a new world. The inner child is where all believe form is made so the check out the links below.

https://www.phuckyoanxiety.com/post/healing-your-inner-child-pt-1

https://www.phuckyoanxiety.com/post/healing-your-inner-child-part-two

This is where all the pain you experienced come from the young the old and your expectations you had for people and things in your life. This is where majority of the work is started because the inner child is the young, naïve, innocent, and that freshness you have for life come from here. It is the younger you versus the older you this is why so many adult settles for subpar relationships with people because the belief they have in themselves and in others are diminished.


So, accountability to them will feel like a need and not a just. Either accountability is a little too much and that they lack in the fun department and those who only know accountability well enough will manipulate people because they’ve never been seen for who they really are.


So, to sum this up I suggest that this is the phase you should start with. I asked you in the inner child blog what did you want to be when you where younger? If you still remember that goal you had in mind you still can achieve it? I asked it to be cliché because if you are over the age and of 30 and you still remember it detail by detail then you have no problem taken accountability over your life and the choices you made with family, friends, and associates.


IT GETS GREATER LATER BUT THE CHANGE STARTS WITH YOU!



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