As The Holiday Comes
Black Family Drama Quick Synopsis:
Why when the family ready to make a change we always have that one family member who always do or try to mess up something because it ain’t about them. You know right after y’all done fought, argued down, cursed each other, and finally came to peace and hug it out its still that one person in the corner side eying the problem. As a family what do y’all do in those situations? Do you continuously stay stuck on the problem or you allow them to be mad by themselves. When healing is needed, I think the elders are supposed to step in and help out because one person can unravel a lot in a matter of seconds. You may not think so because you have been numb to their routine and antics but as a person who has been there done that, I have found myself cutting off my whole bloodline back in my teens.
All because certain behaviors they allowed from kinfolks started to become aggravating to me. Maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve while at the sametime I don’t express it enough but when enough is enough I don’t give a damn about any title you hold in my life. The problem I faced the most for me was moving forward because after we apologized like many, I thought it warranted change behavior and in reality, it gave me and them excuses to say we were going to change while stay in the limits of who we were. Now I am team player to a fault and my loyalty even with my own kin has landed me in some tricky situations that I sometimes hate to even state out loud. Not because of shame but because of the title and the rhetoric of blood is thicker than water. It allowed me to think of the narrative that if you scratch my back then I scratch your back.
When in reality it created the narrative of obligation, burdensome, and favor for favor. It makes you look back over your life and start to see all the things you’ve done for others and say what the hell was I doing. Blame seems to shifts around like the plague because we fail to take into account on how we are the problem in most cases. I have noticed that the title of family makes us feels excluded from our human experience such as; not being able to have a kid, get married, knowing how to cook, clean, build, to dream, or live out your goal. How we can limit ourselves in these beliefs and allow it, them, they, her, she, we, and he to block us from moving forward. How we push the narrative of no one having our back but at the same time we barely have the teachings of what it is to be a family. It goes beyond the matriarch and patriarch of our bloodlines.
It is us that is the family we are the workers, the lovers, the teachers, the protectors, and confidants but when those roles are forced upon us and not explored organically it can breed a stem of chaos. Because our own feelings get in the way of what is for the greater good and our lives become the projection of what you think we should be. Isn't family home, the place you speak out loud with courage, the place we are supposed to be accepted, and cherished as well? But did I say that you have to share the same DNA with these particular individuals. I mean having a family that is willingly to grow and glow into the people they need to be is great. But for those of us who don’t come from those backgrounds we find family in those people who don’t look like us or come from us whether they are to come from a relationship, a job, or a simple platonic relationship.
I believe the two can exist because we weren't created in this human design to only know those who only come from where we come from. I mean why do we travel? Why do we learn foreign languages? Why do we study religions and praise spirituality? Why? Is a simple I ask, not to question anyone's faith but I ask that to understand to the reasons of your belief of families. See my beliefs on family will always differ from any common man with a decent background of family due to my childhood wounds. But I do not go off disturbing, disrupting, and dismantling anyone else's because I don’t like it or think it isn't a good fit for me. What works for you may not work for me but I did reincarnate into this life time from two human beings whom state law and science says that we are family and blood relatives.
So, with all that being said let's get into this blog.
SOME OF Y’ALL GONE NEED SOME HOLIDAY ETTIQUTE BECAUSE I CAN SEE THE HOLIDAYS ABOUT TO TIP THE SCALES IN THE WRONG WAY. Because if y’all have that same conversation that seems to go nowhere and mama drop her candy yams or touch that hot ass stove one more time. I bet somebody get cursed out in that house tonight. Please send it to me in my DMs with the invisible ink so it can disappear. As the year is ending it seems like 2022 wants to go out with a bang and give some people a pep in, they step and this step may cause some chaos for some. And for some of y’all you don’t have time for everybody else's shit. For some these years has been so hard on so many people that these holidays are the only thing people look forward too. The holidays are becoming so routine that we forget why we link up and have these bonding moments. Because family isn't family like it used to be cause life got real for everybody.
You have siblings who been holding grudges since six, parents are getting older, the fear of dying in the elders, and the young ready to be grown. That we don’t even realize that those are the moments we try to capitalize on are right in our face. We become so focused on the food that we forget the vibe of it all. The getting to know so and so, kin flying in from out of state, and basically having that nosey parent occupied for once where you can vent about all your crushes and school. How you had those moments where you hated your life and the minute the holidays came around it made it seem as if everything was going to be alright. How we as niggas created the Thanksgiving holiday fit where we wanted to shit on a cousin but showoff at the same time. You know the comfort of being your gawd damn self.
That now anything new is equated to how much money you got and what you can do for others as if we didn’t sit up and play M.A.S.H as kids. Saying ima be big mama, ima be rich mama in my Big Krit voice. Like to argue about every dime someone makes but forget the dreams you had when you were younger. To see people, turn against each other over hatred, envy, and lust is disheartening. When we treat each other based off our needs and not for who we are but at the same time wanting something called reciprocations i.e., love.
If you find yourself this holiday season wondering and looking for support just know it is there. It may not come in the comfort of those who you want it to be but that don’t mean you don't deserve happiness and people who value you for you for you. Just know them therapy sessions you going to is going to pay off, the loved ones you miss that is passed on they there, breaking a boundary and feeling bad about is a learning tool. Don’t start your new year off in a mood because of one emotion get it together, regroup, challenge the narrative in a healthy manner and say I got this. Feel free to always go back and reread some old blogs I'll link them below.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! JUST INCASE I FORGET TO SEND YOU ALL GOOD WISHES!
Black Family Drama Recap (phuckyoanxiety.com)
All of the blogs to this is linked below!
CIAO