Have you ever found yourself so pissed off that you were silent and unable to communicate but you were fuming on the inside? My friend that is a power that many don’t posses but the downside of it is the inability to keep your composure while still getting your point across. Sometimes you need a moment to breath through the process but the person who seems to antagonize you isn’t giving you one. And let you calm down to later talk and when you want to talk about your emotions it seems as if your emotions aren’t important, but when you clearly communicated that now wasn’t the time they kept going on. That in that moment you felt you lost all of your power and restraint that you imploded your anger on to them because you just needed a moment.
Now I am all about self-restraint and boundaries but what happens when people know you are calm and continues to push your buttons how do you react? Take a minute and think about it. Are you a me where you don’t care and have no remorse for your actions, or you feel guilty because you had to stand up for yourself? I mean it can be pretty tricky when you’re trying to stand up to someone you love because you don’t want to breach that line that pushes them into enemy territory. Do you take it until you can’t take anymore creating a narrative that it’s okay for them to do whatever they want to do with no remorse for how you feel? It’s like you can’t be a victim even if you wanted to. I mean no one really wants to be a victim because it creates the narrative that you have a vulnerability somewhere for them or this situation.
Honestly what do you do? Well I have found myself in my journey that I have outgrew certain things and people and that is okay. Because it was once a time where I tried to overanalyze the behaviors people had because I acted in the such ways as well. Now that I see it is a conscious choice, they’re making by doing the things they do I have no remorse for my actions. I mean you can be cut off or cursed out. I know my limits with people so I know how much I can take when it comes to certain behaviors they possess. At this point in my life I don’t put myself in positions with these types of people unless it is needed, and I honestly don’t find a reason to. Because walking away emotionally drained, constantly talking about the same things, and constantly being called the bad guy is not the narrative I want for me.
It pushes people away from you when they always see in the 5 of swords energy because the way the human mind is set up, they will defend the bully and offend the victim. I mean it’s crazy because participating in lower vibrational energy only takes away from you but allowing them to constantly get away with it sets a narrative, they have power over you. Sometimes you can feel gained up on and looking for some emotional understanding only to be met with anger, strife, confusion, drama, and ongoing fights. You might even get to the point where you feel you have no voice because you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Honestly are the people your trying so hard to get to understand you, are they really worth your time. Now if this is implied to a relationship exclude this!
But when I find myself at my wits end with certain people, I still get my point across without anger and without emotionally invalidating myself.
· One I know myself and my reactions to things so therefore I know what I am capable of when I am mad. (Getting to know you and all your negative behaviors can help you with this.)
· A deep sigh sometimes is needed. Sometimes you can be so angry that you can forget to breath. That inhale exhale thing works, because while they are busy constantly nagging or complaining you’re a so focused on releasing that hostility you have in the moment.
· A simple response is all that is needed. (I hear you, yes, no, or now is not a good time is a statement. Saying you have to excuse yourself because you need a moment is clear communication and control over yourself.) Now depending on the tone your actions to not engage much follow as well. Because emotional tyrants have a way of starting arguments and fights only for you to apologize because of your response. SAY IT WITH ME LESS IS BEST.
· Depending on the argument or conversation that was happening at the time I think it would be best to not communicate so quickly after the fight. One you haven’t even processed your emotions. Two you are clearly in two different head spaces. Three you might be trying to force your reality on to the other party. Sometimes a non-bias third party is needed. You have emails, text messages, and written letters that still can get communicate across. Utilize them.
· I know it sucks but read the room. Meaning check a person head space, body language, and tonality before you go full throttle into a conversation. What emotional response are you looking to be received with? Keep in mind this is hard for an emotional tyrant because you have set the tone for this individual to think this is okay. So, you do the opposite for self when you are engaging into a conversation.
· Last, but least breath again if you have talk out loud in a quiet space away from this person do it. Because those thoughts being unheard and processed will lead to anger and resentment. Causing the next big blow out because you felt unheard and had to be the adult in this situation.
REMEMBER THIS ISNT A ONE TIME PROCESS. YOU HAVE TO EAT, SLEEP, THINK IT, AND DO IT SO IT CAN BECOME A ROUTINE.