After doing the weekly energy reading that seemed more of an emotional issue that hadn’t been addressed was heavy. Because as much as we talk about physical trauma we rarely talk about emotional trauma and how it affects you growing up.
The purpose of me writing the inner child blogs was to bring awareness in the nouns and how we grow to identify ourselves in the relationships we choose in life. The funny apart about it dealing with emotional trauma sometimes isn’t often as recognized as a physical trauma.
Now I’m not trying to put to traumas against each other, but they can be both equally damaging to a person. When the topic trauma comes up, that I wrote in a blog we rarely let other people traumas see the light of the day unless they were physically abused. You may say I’m wrong but watch how simply favor switches to the side of physical assault because of the moral compass we as humans have.
While others can complain of verbal abuse, mental abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation. The collective will always grant some people an accuse because of their behavior. And somehow, they always say we should grow thicker skin. Verbal abuse can be so emotionally taxing on the body that it can take it toll on the mind causing us to emotionally invalidate our own experiences.
Gaslighting affects the mind and causes gaps in the memory of person overtime because of a manipulation tactic called codependency and control. When things aren’t caught and called out early, we as children that grow up to be adults will mirror this behavior back to those around us creating the same damage that was done to us growing up.
You always hear me say that people who suffer with mental illnesses can be the biggest manipulators or manipulatees. Now I know that isn’t a word, but I had to use it for such. The reason I caught own to this is because when people are so used to being labeled and not seen for, who they are they will always find a way to seek some form of emotional validation.
It can be dangerous with these types of individuals because it’s always your truth versus what they know to be true for themselves. This is why when the topic mental illness comes up, I say study the topic, side effects, and prescriptions because it can be emotionally exhausting trying to get someone to be your type of normal.
But as you know this blog isn’t about that it’s about a tweet, I wrote on social media so let’s go!
A lot of people are aspiring to be married or to grow more into the relationships they have with people but what happens when you don’t know the person who you say you love. I’m not talking about their favorite food, clothing, the things they to do, or favorite color. No, I’m talking about the relationships they have with those who raised them.
Not that they have a toxic relationship with a parent or what a parent didn’t do. I’m talking about how they emotionally suppressed certain feelings and experiences in order to keep the value and integrity of the word called family and loved ones.
For those of you that want to see the tweet here it goes.
A lot of the collective have children and they are trying to see how they can be better parents or how their kids won’t make the same mistakes they made.
Because just telling them this is bad and don’t do this and trying to set them for success just doesn’t work anymore. Especially with Gen Z they’re emotionally aware so the typical whooping and hollering don’t work. They’ll likely respond with the why they won’t dare make the decisions you made as young adult because you barely understand them.
True story my child read me to filth about certain friendship dynamics I had with people. And my niece politely told me to date up. Yes, they can be some cruel apathetic creatures. But sometimes you need that blunt truth from a person you care about. Remember it ain’t what you say it’s how you say it.
But if you read the tweet you have seen how I said that for certain people it can be hard dating someone who doesn’t show no signs of trauma because they packed it down well. And you found out a little too late that your partner isn’t as emotionally honest with you about certain things. They way they need to be loved and how they communicate when it comes to their feelings. Or how they perceive love because they put up with your bullcrap that there is their way of love.
When it’s the complete opposite it is the connection, they have with struggle love and emotional intimacy. As the wave of feminine energy reaches it peak in conversations sometimes it can be completely mislabeled and unidentified amongst the collective of people this day and age.
To be in tune with your feminine energy doesn’t mean you have to be gay even though in the southern part of America boys who were emotional were labeled as gay.
Still to this day we use that as way to jug or joke about men and their emotional matters. You just have to know who you joke with.
But a lot of men fail to be in tune and aligned with their own feminine energy because they have been taught to seek a love outside of themselves. So, they perceive love as a woman who will put up with his emotional immature and mannish ways until he becomes the man he needs to be. So, for him to honor his own needs as a man he feels he has to break or destroy a woman to see if she is worthy of his truths.
You think I’m lying look at the collective of women talking about their toxic relationships with men. But feminine energy is the way we love and give it to others. It is the value we seek in ourselves and others. How we are to be accepting and kind to those but able to place a form of healthy boundaries between your needs versus others.
When it isn’t taught early because of the relationships you have with your elders, parents, or loved ones. It can create a disconnect in the relationship you value the most. Because being raised without love isn’t a life that we feel that is worth living for. This is why people seek love in many forms such as; sex, drugs, attention, gifts, and friendships.
But what happens when you date someone who seems to have forgiven a parent for their past but haven’t forgiven themselves because of the person it turned them into? As the person in the relationship with someone with emotional trauma what do you do? When you love someone, you don’t want no harm to come to the person you love. But what happens when you don’t know how to separate you values from the actual person they are today?
Do you continuously blame their parents for the things they didn’t teach them, or do you try to understand where your partner is mentally? Because at some point you have to stop creating excuses for their behavior because the more you put their problems on someone else; the more other people who are outside of the relationship seem way more emotionally attractive.
Now this can go either way because we all want to feel like we just connect with the person we love, like we just want to see through each other souls. But sometimes love isn’t just rainbow’s and unicorns because one we aren’t prepared for the realness of a relationship. As much as we talk about healing and growing together its going to be some people who fall behind in the cracks.
And that is when love and patience comes in and sometime your patience can be tested when it is given out of sympathy instead of empathy.
So, I wonder are you truly connected to the one you love, or they push you out when things get a little to real. Is it their need for survival or is it because the relationship hasn’t yet created the room for emotional freedom?
I mean I’m not going to lie it can be challenging dealing with and individual who doesn’t talk about the emotional hurt they suffered or needed out of life from those around them. Because when the inner child in them is feed it can bring a joy into your life, but when the inner adult isn’t satisfied it can create a dysfunctional experience for both of y’all.
Are you ready to get honest?