The most valuable lesson I learned in my early 20’s is that everyone isn’t a safe space. Contrary to popular belief this is why us as black people suffer when trying to make friends and we fail at that. The way we are raised is that we put up with disrespect, poor boundaries, and entitlement. It crippled us because we are taught that if we label people such as friends, lovers, aunts, uncles, mothers, and fathers that it robbed them of being able to hurt us.
We take on this concept as if I meet someone, share the same interest, or share the same beliefs that they are valuable to us. As we grow older and start to experience hurt, emotional dismay, and being let down we take this pain with us. That pain we carry causes us to make irrational decisions with people who feel we trust. This is why when bonds severs it cause us to go back into the patterning of accepting less.
And yes it’s true to be apart of this human experience and too be liked, but what happens when your need to be like causes harm or detriment to you or someone else. We are quickly to go back into the labeling of this is that and you should get over that, but how much pain has life taught you to carry on.
It is okay to not be liked, but the problem becomes set in when you do things intentionally to not be liked. Shadow work my friends, shadow work. It is when the ego desires something more than the soul or even the body. This is where the emotional wounding we carry tends to come in aches and pain all over the body all the way to the top the crown and down to the root. Leaving us yearning for love and emotional support. Causing us to make irrational decisions and hating love.
Remember nobody has to accept you, but it is kind of those who do it from an authentic space. Not those with ulterior motives to get to get your guard down and use that against you. My child that isn’t support that is control, fear, and domination. Acceptance start within and for others you may learn this through others. Which is perfectly fine it’s just making sure you know what source it’s actual beneficial to you.
It is okay to shed some things in this season, lose some friends, lovers, exes, even you, but not to this world. Knowing the difference between needing to be liked versus accepting people for they are can save you a bunch of money on your car insurance. People tend to think that acceptance is bad when I beg to differ it teaches you what and what not to put up with up.
I’ll give you an example; I know a girl and guy that likes to lie, gossip, and keep up shit all the time. To the outside world I would seem cold, callously, or even wrong. To me I beg to differ because one they always hurt people and know how to manipulate they way back into people lives. It’s never changed behavior just masked motives. You get your hopes up to be let down again. That is emotional abuse, that is inner child abuse at best.
Its like saying it gets no better than this when that is complete and utterly BULLSHIT! Now, I’m not talking about a prank no they do this maliciously and cause fights, argument, and chaos. And meanwhile everyone is to busy arguing they find new victims to do this too. And if your not careful you’ll pick up these habits and put it right back into your environment.
Moral of the story you know your own values and beliefs that you are willing to put up with just remember everyone doesn’t have the same beliefs. So, if that causes me to the cast out baby I been a black sheep so that ain’t nothing to me. Because ima laugh, snack, eat, and shit. But what you won’t catch me doing is being something someone else wants to be just so they can be happy.
There are friends out there, a new job out there, a lover out there, a new home out there that is willingly to embrace your new path. Remember it’s somebody for everybody just stop being somebody for everybody and that will make your life ten times easier. We are energy selective in this season.
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