How counseling works against couples?

In this day and age going to therapy, seeing a counselor, or some psychologist has been more highlighted than ever. Some people say its for selfish reasons and for others its because it actually helped them acquire a new mind frame to life. While for some they say therapy is bulls*** I'll just keep doing life the same way until they can't no more. I'm a firm believer in when you pray for something you better make sure you have the emotionally capacity to handle it.

Cause if you don't you'll find yourself taking two step backs instead of two steps forward and when I say be ready I'm talking about working on you while you wait on the response. Because when you find yourself waiting and ready for the answer you'll find yourself taking any an everything from anyone thinking that it is a sign. No man, no human, no woman, or child can beat Divine timing. Time will always catch up with you.

But any who shout to those black therapist and black people who preach about mental health and actually seek to help and not become a hashtag. And shout to all those therapist who do the damn thang.

HOW THERAPY WORKS AGAINST YOU?

1. Most people who go seek out a relationship counselor is when the relationship has been or going through turmoil. A lot of people fail to go to couples therapy before you get the years in or go to martial counseling. Hell even individual counseling because in this life we are all taught that we can do everything alone. You know we literally have become Timon and Pumba when the world turn its back on us we turn our back against the world. A lot of people fail to recognize the intention they have set with fixing something.

Most of the time it comes off as I need you to fix him or her so they can be back to how they were before. When it doesn't work like that because them and they who you are talking about are human sweetie. And humans can be difficult and set in their ways when their feelings are hurt; or having emotional issues that have never been brought to the forefront can require more time to break down. When you rush the process of fixing an issue you get half of what you truly need. When the relationship is brought to a counselor in a destructive manner the relationship itself will require a deconstruct to reconstruct the foundation.

And nine times out of ten the partner who is so gun-ho about going to a counselor or feel that a spouse or partner is the problem or have the most problems going on is likely the one who has a issue admitting when they are wrong. Knowing that you are striving for a change and being open enough to find out the reason why why, is the most profound tool to therapy.

2. Using the therapist words against them in an argument to emotionally blackmail a partner into something you want them to do. That's not fair and not effective use of counseling it just keep you and your partner in state of being unsure about the direction of the relationship . Just because you are seeking a new zen in life that doesn't mean that everyone around you are. Whatever struggles you have went through in your relationship you have to be mindful of the choices that you are now choosing to make to correct them.

The people who used to be apart of your bad seasons may not like your good season because just like misery loves company those who have emotionally feed you for so long isn't going to like the fact that you're doing it by yourself now. I'm not saying you have codependent issues but the people we have in our life from family, friends, and business serve a purpose as well. The real truth is figuring out what their purpose and not letting it stop you from becoming the change you need.

3. LAST BUT LEAST! LISTEN! Proper comprehension skills requires a person to be able to listen so they can hear what a person has said. The goal is to reiterate what you have heard and if their is any misconceptions that is going on between you and the therapist you ask for a better understanding. If time is of the essence an your session has ended try writing down what it is you need or the emotions you have left over from the conversation.

4. IT WORKS AGAINST YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T GO TO COUNSELING! ALSO REMEMBER THAT SOMETIMES IT ISN'T A COUPLE THING SOMETIMES ITS A SPOUSE THING AND YOU JUST WANT THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FROM SOMEONE YOU KNOW.