Arguments in a relationship is normal its when arguments become a pattern of emotional expression to be able to communicate is when it becomes a problem. It's okay to disagree to agree. Meaning that we may not to see eye to eye all the time but I'm mature enough to respect the value you of your mind.
We now live in a day in age where toxic is cute and emotional infliction is okay when it truly damages a connection in a relationship. I mean if I had to argue everyday with the person I love I would've ran so fast out of that relationship. I would never want to go home until my partner is asleep. It's messed up I know, but hey you can't help it when you fall in love with someone and they suck at communication.
What do you think of when you hear the word communication? It is to talk hourly about a subject, just to get to a point across, to listen, comprehend, repeat, or hear what someone is saying? Communication is the number one tool that ruins relationship. The lack of it and too much it I tell you, balance my friend. BALANCE.
Arguments can let you know where you stand with someone and how they feel about a particular issue. The fact that society says when someone is mad that is how they truly feel is weird. For some yes, but for majority no because it be more signs that is evident before shit hits the fan. And when you are so accustom to winning an argument or being an emotional fighter you rarely take heed to the damage that is done.
Because like many we weren't taught how to be in a relationship. We were taught how to keep a lover or to do the right things to spruce up our dating resume to make us look like the perfect partner when we are not. Nobody is perfect, perfect is an illusion design by society to make you want to hate yourself because you can't achieve their standards, morals, and value of what you should be.
I mean while we in the number two years you can just gone head and start showing your flaws to yourself so you can start working on them. Because the longer you keep lying to yourself about the things you need and capable of, you'll only find yourself projecting them on to people who don't meet your standards. FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF PERFECTION!
Here's a few tips to help you navigate those arguments in relationship with your loved ones.
Women, Ladies, Girls, Men, Boys, .. Listen to Barbara you Shirley..
Tact- it is to have sensitivity with other people and difficult matters at hand. When you load up your gun make sure your facts aren't rude, mean, demeaning, and weaponized things a loved one has done. Now I know every conversation isn't going to be easy to deliver, but making sure that you are comfortable with your emotions matter before you go playing judge and jury. Because execution matters more than anything. Keep in mind when you are genuine with who are it makes it easy for others to share and to be open with you as well. Hyper Femininity and Toxic Femininity is overplayed.
2. Tone- is the emotion, character, and volume of how you say and what you say that it's own impact on the communication. Keep in mind you passive-aggressive and nit picky people fall in this category too. Nobody wants to communicate or confide in someone who has this judgmental approach to everything. The sames go for someone who is overly loud and antagonistic in their conversations. Either you'll end up pushing people away or they'll find away to hurt your feelings because they won't you to back off. Just because patriarchy has identified a women being loud and angry as emotional doesn't mean every woman or man is willing to accept this.
3. Point- Is the period or the question mark to whatever you are saying or asking. I don't want to have to no heart to heart that leads to a conversation that is going no where all because you want some attention. Like why you just couldn't say that in the beginning. This is when conversations are about to turn in arguments because someone isn't stating what they need with intention. They'll rather keep the conversation on hold or keep revisiting it because it's important to them and not the other person.
Just because your in a relationship with someone that doesn't mean that they have to care about things you do. That doesn't mean they don't value it, they just might not have the same emotional response.
4. Gestures- watch your hands and objects. Pay attention to your partner body language sometimes you will see when they are uncomfortable with certain things. But because of selfish natures we tend to push this in the back of our mind and continue to do the same thing. You do have those partners who do like to study they lover to push they buttons and play victim. STOP PLAYING VICTIM TO CIRCUMSTANCES YOU'VE CREATED!
Ex. Men have your old lady ever been talking too much that she rarely recognize that she is getting on your nerves. Y'all tend have this aggressive sit up and look like you about to let her know she got you fucked up. You go from sitting back to sitting up like you ready to fight within a drop of a dime. She don't know even know you fina pull out your Mortal Kombat finish her move because of your inability to be able to communicate that you don't want to hear what she has to say. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT!
Now keep in mind you don't have to be a male you can be a dominate woman in a same sex relationship.
Let me know if this help you out!
Buenos Noche
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